Dear Tee,
Thanks for your wishes

Do you make new year resolutions every year?

if your parents judge you, you won’t judge yourself. In other words, to have compassion for yourself, even if your parents don’t.

Yes, that is what I’m trying to do but it’s no easy thing to be honest

Right.. so your inner critic took over the judgemental attitude of your parents and is pushing you to perform faster, better…. An image comes to mind of you being like a jockey, pushing and hitting your horse to run faster and faster… and being angry at him if he cannot run so fast.

Yes kind of like that. You understood the situation so well

Which means you’re not compassionate with yourself when it comes to learning new skills and your job performance in general.

Remember when I told you that I believe in action-oriented things? So It’s because of this, otherwise I just dwell in overthinking about outcomes, and it takes lot of time and drain my energy as well. Although it still happens sometimes

 Maybe you wanted to move away from your parents’ relentless judgment… 

Maybe yes.. That time first thing I wanted was Freedom which I have now and I’m really appreciating it. And If I didn’t moved out I don’t think I’d be developed this much as per mindset.

Because my parents are overprotective. For example I started swimming classes and after a week I’ve told them but at village in my teenage years they be like don’t go inside deep water and do this and that and me and my siblings weren’t allowed to go swimming without my cousin who’s an expert swimmer, but I didn’t learned swimming like that. Even when I started swimming lessons, they asked hundreds of questions. If I’m getting watery eyes, Water is too cold and blah blah.. But finally I’ve learned swimming because My parents weren’t around me to stop.

Just this weekend my uncle and his family came to visit and stayed for 2 days. With his wife and a little boy and I noticed the same thing. No freedom. Kite festival is around the corner but my uncle and aunt is too much concerned about the little hand cuts (Only if he’s too much careless) So they didn’t allow him to play with kites. I feel for that kid.

So the thing that I noticed is that first of all even parents are not believing in their kids that they can handle themselves and making them feel more dependent or not enough, which is kind of true reality for lot of families here nowadays.

But the thing is that by that time your inner critic had already soaked in their judgments, and so you’ve become your own worst critic. Even if your parents are (or seem) much milder nowadays, it is you who is pushing yourself hard…

Yes I agree with this. That’s why I’m trying to be mindful about my inner voice now even though nowadays it’s keep telling what’s next? what are you doing?