I really want to get this off my chest and would like a perspective on whether I’m experiencing limerence or something more.
It’s been over 9 months since I met this great person while on vacation. Although our time was incredibly short and strictly a vacation romance, I felt something deeper towards the end. I sensed that they felt differently too. I knew this wasn’t going to work, but I confessed my feelings anyway. They gently let me down, saying they couldn’t do a long-distance relationship but mentioned they would try to visit me in the future, which is totally fair.

Since then, life has continued, and we’ve remained friends, but we’re slowly fizzling out both in conversations etc. I held back and try not to chase them, and just let the conversation fizzle, because i know there is no point. Throughout this time, I’m trying so hard to move on and forget them. I went on dates, got back into my routine, and taken little weekend trips, completely bucket lists. While I’m making strides in my life, my heart still aches, and I can’t stop thinking of him. I might be successful for a couple of days, but then he pops back into my thoughts again.


I put on a brave and happy front, every time I think of him, it feels like heartbreak, and I just want to move on or at least stop feeling so much hurt. I’ve read countless articles about how to move on from a vacation romance and how I should look back fondly, but the reality is that deep in my heart, I still cannot. I’ve tried to restrict him and mute his stories, but I can’t stick to it for long, and my mind drifts back so now I just left it as it is. I spoke to my therapist about it, but I feel embarrassed discussing this topic any further because she just told me some very gender stereotyped things which I don’t really agree with.

I’ve been able to date, but I can’t help but compare my bad dates to them, putting them on a pedestal. Part of me still create those ludicrous what if scenarios in my head and continues to hold on to some ridiculous hope that I’ll see them again next year since I was planning to travel to their country anyway and maybe rekindle what we had. I know I’m fantasizing over a memory, and that this person might not reflect their true self back home.


Despite telling everyone that this is a great love story I have, I’m still hurting months later. I’m embarrassed to continue to share this with friends because of how long it has gone on (i already shared with them in the beginning). I’ve tried changing various situations in my life to feel more at peace, but I still feel discontent. I haven’t experienced this intensity in feelings for so long—especially after years of unsuccessful dating and brief surface relationships since my last significant breakup almost five years ago. Discovering that my ex married someone I suspected was part of our breakup stung tremendously earlier this year.


Part of me wonders if this person triggered something profound in my life that has left me reeling from shock.
Thank you for listening. I would love to hear any stories or words of encouragement. ❤️