It sounds like a frustrating situation! If you are unable to move out or make changes, I would suggest going to Al Anon asap. Anyone who has to deal directly with people of imbalance and addiction usually ends up with some ramifications of other’s choices. The imbalance usually becomes contagious. Al Anon helped me immensely in circumstances I thought were hopeless. I realize this might not be the answer that you are looking for, but honestly it’s the best start I can suggest.

Abe,

Al anon is for codependency issues, which it seems like you may be struggling with at the moment. Mostly, it seems you have a difficulty with boundaries. As a yoga teacher, perhaps you have developed energy sensitivity, and now are being given help in using your energy in a healthy way when off the mat. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

Consider that you’re taking in their energy. This is pretty normal, especially with your living there. However, if you intentionally keep your heart chakra open (consider matsayasana per/post encounters or metta meditation with her as the recipient) then her energy won’t become invasive to your own. Said differently, the danger in corrosive people isn’t their energy, its the way their energy appears to be corrosive, and therefore we close the heart to “protect it” and end up feeling the heaviness of apathy and judgment. When the heart stays open, it is much more like watching a crippled sister hobble her way through experiences, and the softness and gentleness of our inner light remains strong.

One mental trick that can be used to help the heart remain open is to contemplate her as a teacher, giving you the gift of awareness. Much like a fire can bring light to a dark room, her fiery energy is revealing your areas of clinging, your dark corners where you still judge and condemn others for their suffering. Consider that it may be a little painful to experience her, but it is far more disoriented and painful to be her.

Then, instead of cowering away from her and passively hiding, perhaps your heart will lead you to say what needs to be said, to shine what light is needed, to help your sister break free. Even if she rejects it, from your side the offering will grow your heart stronger and keep your mind flexible to weather your experiences with joyousness.

Said differently, when people over assert and try to manipulate us, we don’t have to be offended. Instead, we can nod and smile and accept that is their grasping, their issue, and their suffering. Then when we respond to it, we do so from a grounded and self assured place. For instance, “I don’t like being spoken to in such a way”… fireworks from her side… “you sound upset. How painful it must be to get so upset just because someone won’t do what you want!”

That being said, there is no reason life needs to be an endurance trial. Sure, Buddha might be able to sit and love her without being disturbed, but if that’s not a lesson you wish to learn right now, consider looking for different accommodations. I’m not sure its your right to tell her she can’t do this or that in the space, as it seems like its under his control, not yours. Said differently, it is always awkward when you complain about a meal at someone else’s table.

With warmth,
Matt

Abe,

Sometimes when we are building muscle and flexibility, the stretching and weight seems taxing. This is normal, usual, as resistance builds strength. It seems to me you have lots of options, but any of them will require your growth. You could work on detaching your base chakra from the home, and work on it independently of the conditions around you. This could be from a number of poses and breathing techniques, or perhaps some hemitite or black tourmaline (which help with grounding). Or, you could work on your assertivness (sacral) and work to create a path of compromise and mutual fulfillment. Either path won’t be easy, but if it was easy, you’d probably get bored! 🙂

From your response, it doesn’t seem like you understand metta. Metta meditation is the strongest and simplest method for refueling the heart chakra. Said differently, as we brush up against difficult experiences, we expend energy to digest them. This can leave us hungry, which feels like depression, mental spinning, and overwhelmed. Consider searching YouTube for “guided metta meditation”. This will directly increase your inner happiness, as well as help to make your mind peaceful and smooth. Consider tagging it onto the start of your yoga practice, as going into yoga with peaceful mind can help the efficacy of the practice.

I know it can seem like the problem is external, and so the solution must have to arise in the external, but that makes us a victim to the decisions and energies of others. Lucikily, that just isn’t the case… the problems and solutions can be found internally, and its no wonder to me that you’ve found yourself in a place where the universe is helping you turn inward to find a lasting peace. Please give metta meditation a try. Even two weeks with 30 minutes a day and the change will be noticeable, beautiful. Especially for one who can feel their base wobble! Being energy sensitive is fantastic, but perhaps what you really need is some better food than arranged furniture. With some effort and patience, you can open a connection that allows you to pull in the energy of happiness directly, which circumvents the need for others to align to our desires in order for us to remain balanced.

Namaste, dear sibling, may you find your path of love and light sparkling in front of you.

And, you’re never alone, gentle one… divine light is always right there, waiting for a listening ear, an open mind to inspire, a prayer to answer. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt