Do our dreams have an expiration date?

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This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by @Jasmine-3.

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May 6, 2014 at 5:19 pm #55897
bill
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Hi,

I need some feedback.

Look, I have been pursuing my occupational dreams of working in a nonprofit for decades, with some tiny successes.

I am getting older and I feel bad because I don’t have a very good income, have not been using my natural talents very much and have not been able to work on things I care about. I know there are jobs that fit my interests that pay enough to have an OK life, I see them advertised every day. I network for them.

But I just don’t get many interviews anymore. I got one last fall at a wildlife group for $35-$45 K which I thought a good thing.
But, probably because of what I hear from other people, I begin to worry that I am just getting too old for employers to take an interest in anymore. I try not to tell myself such things but I live around other people who do.

I hope it’s not true, I have struggled to hard and long to end up with this. I still want my dreams if I can get them – both in my work and relationship life and I am willing to be persistent and flexible about getting them to happen.

Right now, I am considering taking a part time job in my area of interest in the hope that I can eventually work at it full time.

For me, the hardest thing about getting older is you are expected to expect less. But what are you supposed to do, sit around thinking about the past and your regrets? Maybe making big dreams about the future is a bit of a mistake after a certain age.
What do people think – let’s not be completely idealistic about this.
- This topic was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by bill.
- This topic was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by bill.
May 7, 2014 at 5:43 pm #55972

Big blue
Participant

Hi Bill,

I’ve been through some career changes myself.

What if you commit to you area of talent and continue the non-profit work on the side? Would you be happier? Would you contribute more value for others? Would you make a better living? By doing that you are helping others as well.

What sorts of things are you doing to keep yourself feeling as young as possible? You reflect how you feel about yourself.

Big blue

May 7, 2014 at 6:15 pm #55973

bill
Participant

I don’t know how to think of myself too well outside of my idea of myself as working for an idealistic type organization. For some reason, the excitement generated by thinking about certain kinds of jobs seems to focus me and I feel like I am not just applying for anything. It seems to help too since I get more interviews that way. I am not good at faking enthusiasm. But survival needs may force me to do it anyway. It’s just that you need a focus (or focuses) because there are so many options out here you can get lost.

The jobs I have done that were just for income have been pretty tedious and, recently, low paid. I was working two telemarketing jobs trying to make one income for a while. But I have also been able to pick up “paralegal” jobs in law firms because I knew how to review documents. But that market sort of died and is now taken up by Attorneys who need work

Then, there are my writing skills. I think I have pretty good ones but I have to really work on finding something that would use those skills since most of my experience is freelance writing. But that has some appeal.

My administrative skills are not that interesting for me too use but they pay well. I just don’t think this is what I am good at ultimately.

I think my intuition is telling me this. Find a way to keep a roof over my head a bit longer, keep trying to play to my natural passions by turning to ask myself what it is I need to do with my life, and try not to think about age.

Look, a passionate career or love live or deep involvement in anything (or things) meaningful is a anti-dote to feeling bad about getting old. Having passion and discipline must surely trump age anyway.

If someone said to me – ignore your age and go for it they might make me feel good. Some people think I am young when they meet me so maybe that is all that matters.

May 15, 2014 at 1:49 am #56315

The Ruminant
Participant

Bill,

I read both of your posts regarding your dream a while ago, but wasn’t sure what to say. I still don’t, as I don’t quite see the problem you are referring to. To me, as an outsider, it looks like you are looking at yourself and your own life and seeing something that is not pleasing to you. It also seems as if you are looking at yourself through this very narrow lens. Or a stencil. A stencil of what you think a person’s life should look like, and then you see all the places where your life does not match the stencil.

I also don’t quite understand the point of view of older people expected to be expecting less. I think it’s very common in many cultures that with age comes wisdom. A 20 year old consultant is going to have a really hard time getting his thoughts heard, as opposed to a 60 year old consultant. Perhaps it’s your own view that somehow you are less valuable as you get older? Unfortunately, people will pick up on how much you value yourself and treat you accordingly.

I’m not getting the sense of what is it that you actually want. It is as if you resent practicality and favor idealism. “Saving the environment” is really very vague and impossible to define. How do you know when you’re done? How can you achieve something that isn’t an actual tangible goal? There’s nothing wrong with not being particularly interested in preserving one specific species (as an example), but those type of goals and dreams are easier to achieve. If you just want to work on saving the environment without any specific goal, then you’ll also have to accept that it is never going to be done nor will it materialize in a way that you could say “I did that”.

Sorry if I’m completely off the mark, but like I said, I’m not quite understanding what the problem is

May 15, 2014 at 5:30 am #56322

@Jasmine-3
Participant

Thanks everyone.

Hi Bill @bbot20008

Thanks for your query. I have read your other posts and it seems an answer that suits your logic mind has not yet been provided.

Getting older is not the problem but having a negative belief about old age (and lack of opportunities or interviews that come with it) is definitely going to work against you. And I know that you know what I am talking about.

If you believe in putting an effort and working at it with devotion, hard work and courage, nothing is impossible in this world. Similarly, if you let your mind run havoc in your life, it will. We are very powerful creatures and can make anything and everything possible with the right mind set. The question is: how serious are you about fulfilling your dreams ?

I would like to use a very drastic example to get my point across and see if it resonates with you – when someone is so depressed that they can’t bear no more, they often find a way to commit suicide despite knowing all the potential consequences if they survive. When someone is unsure, they make many attempts until one attempt may give them the release they need. Then there are others, who keep talking about it and making plans but nothing eventuates except for self pity and lots of sympathies from others. Pls do not try above.

Do you know what I am getting at ? Yeah ?

Focus on positive thoughts and make your dreams come true with a honest effort. Sending you loads of positive energy and some clarity as well to help you with this mental conflict.

Blessings,

Jasmine
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