Hi Faber,

Men, as a rule are terrible at trying to give compliments especially in our 20s. For some, this ends up as giving back handed compliment in that they want you to know that you are special but at the same time they can’t help but to add something that says “well I’m interested but not THAT interested” for fear of rejection. It’s like the little boy who is mean to the girl they like at school because he wants to get her attention. Cute, if you are in primary school.

Then there are the guys who will do this on purpose to manipulate you because by diminishing your value, you might agree to do something that you normally wouldn’t do (like going out with a guy who disrespects you). Either way, it’s got nothing to do with you and your physical appearence and everything to do with them. So the guys who say this to you are either little boys or manipulators. It’s a terrible idea to date either because you will have to play mommy for one and the victim for the other.

Some ideas for a snappy come back if you encounter this situation again:

“And you’re an ahole in a mainstream kind of way”
“Gee thanks. Usually guys start with flowers and chocolate when they want to date me”
“Yeah I like your energy too because if I want to date a guy with a big **** I wouldn’t have picked you. Glad we have that in common!”

Probably want to go the middle one if you want to give the poor man a chance but it’s always nice to have options in your back pocket for the tough ones. 🙂