Dear anita,
Again you are quite insightful on this. Your first paragraph is so right. I just have to decide if the first reaction will be face to face or the control of being physically away when he reacts badly. The reaction will be what it is, just the choice. Thank you for making that clear.

I do fear the reactions and the ability to make my life miserable from all those mentioned in paragraph two. I hate feeling that someone can control or hurt me, so I am pushing those fears away little by little.

I make good money and not worry about living, but the house in my name, either means I move back home and put it up for sale, or he doesn’t leave. He might not leave peacefully or be so distraught, that he wont leave because he is non-functioning. That is my concern, that I cant go back home and still liable for the bills. Cant keep two places going. I do know he could take the savings he has hoarded and use it to start his new life. That is, if he is functional with this blow. He is 65 years old and not sure what could happen. Cant control it, but its a thought.

I hate to see the tears of anyone in pain, and with the guilt I carry, makes it painful to see the tears. This man doesn’t cry over anything, except the one time he heard we had mad a connection and was deeply distressed that he might lose me. I am trying to harden up to the scenario, so I am less emotional and guilt-ridden to the idea of seeing a man sob.
Thank you for your insight again…………………you are appreciated!