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Posts by Stephanie Roese

Stephanie Roese is a trauma-informed author/digital creator who helps survivors of emotional abuse and neglect stop carrying labels that were never theirs. If you've ever wondered whether you were the problem in your relationships, take the free two-minute quiz for a clearer read on what you're actually dealing with. Her site offers nine free trauma-informed eBooks and a healing-focused newsletter; her blog covers gaslighting, covert abuse, and narcissistic patterns in depth.

Stephanie Roese's Website

How My Father’s Cruel Words Shaped My Life for 45 Years

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“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.” ~Toni Morrison, Beloved

My father was on the other side of my bedroom door, banging hard on it with the flat of his hand, screaming at me to get back to the table and finish my plate.

I told him there was no way I was going anywhere near my sister after she’d just hit me.

That’s when he said the thing that gutted me.

“Well, you know, I used to give your mother a good swift kick in the ass when she deserved it. You act like that, and you get …

When Your Feelings Were Never Safe at Home

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“The fuel of life is feeling. If we’re not filled up in childhood, we must fill ourselves as adults.” ~Jonice Webb, author of Running on Empty

I was nine years old the first time I taught myself how to disconnect completely from my emotions.

It started with a secret I wasn’t supposed to tell, a classroom that turned on me by lunchtime, and a mother who had nothing left to give me the exact moment I needed her most. By the end of that day, I understood the one rule my whole family lived by, even though nobody had ever …

Why Being Ignored Causes Such Deep Pain and Damage

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“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton

My older sister had four years over me. As a kid, I worshipped the ground she walked on. She was so smart, so pretty, so cool. I wanted to be wherever she was, doing whatever she was doing.

I was desperate for any crumb of attention she might throw my way. I even let her loosen my baby teeth so she could pull them out one by one. In those moments she was lavishing me with attention.

Other …