Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
anitaParticipantGood morning, Serene Wolf 🐺
I would love to have an image of the sign posted here but don’t know how to do it. I’ll need someone to do it for me. It’ll take some time 🙏
I am sorry about the passing of your grandma 😔 Having felt very close to her- that’s something to cherish forevermore.
About Scarcity vs Aabundance mindset: you said that for many years, you’ve been trying to survive instead of actually living- because you didn’t feel that you had enough time, money and job stability to start really- living, as I understand it.
That kind of waiting is very common. I guess short-term it makes sense.. but when it lasts too long, it becomes a sort of a lifestyle. Or a habit. Is it, for you?
🤍 Anita
April 6, 2026 at 7:42 am in reply to: Happy Chinese New Year, Happy Lunar New Year and Ramadan Mubarak #456666anitaParticipantGood morning, Thomas 🙂
Thank you and glad to read from you this day after Easter 🐣
The biggest job I ever performed on a car was to check the oil level and add oil. So, from where I’m at, I admire your ability to do all the mechanical work you’re able to do 👍
Is feeling dizzy and having headaches a result of high blood pressure?
I wish you calm and health, Thomas 🙏
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantWell, I’m trying to recover from my anger 😠
Anger is a rare emotion for you.. when’s the last time you felt angry?
(It makes sense it was a tb problem.. it was just frustrating!)
So, about anger..😤?
😑 Anita
anitaParticipantSomething is wrong with my 📱 or with tb because for FORTY minutes I’ve been trying to log in but couldn’t 😤 😤 😑 –
So if this message goes through and you post again and I don’t answer- it’s some tech problem.
Sometimes it feels warm.. that’s well.. it’s good to feel warm, better than feeling angry 😠
😠 😑 😤 🐇 Anita
anitaParticipantWell, Cold and Distant Confused (CDC) is just an image. I know a WCC (Warm and Close Confused)!
Did anyone tell you that they see you that way (CDC)?
Got you, you need emotion on a regular, consistent basis. That kind of stability is wonderful.
What I wrote right above, the whole thing, does it feel blank and empty?
🐇 Anita
anitaParticipantYou are very welcome, Confused 😊
I understand that you feel like a bad person in the last 4-5 months, BUT: I’ve been communicating with you multiple times a day for 3 months and 17 days ( ever since Dec 19), so (calculating)..
3.5 out of 4-5 months you mentioned is my experience of a grateful, kind.. 👍 good Confused.
Oh, I see, you need emotion to put an Approved or Registered stamp on intellectual insight.
🤍 Anita
April 5, 2026 at 6:13 pm in reply to: On Purpise and Shame- what is my purpose? What is yours? #456647anitaParticipantGood Easter Evening, Peter:
You say that the theology of reward and punishment creates a hungry system where love is treated as a wage to be earned rather than a gift to receive.
Before I keep reading, I pause ⏸️
Love as a reward, a payment- that’s transactional. It’s not really love at all.. that’s why it doesn’t satisfy that hunger.
A “hungry system”- a fitting term.
“The seed you hid becomes… your very life”-
That seed I instinctively buried/ or that was buried by circumstance, was the experience of being ALIVE: being care-free, experimenting, experiencing- together-with- others.
The Together was buried and I was A.L.O.N.E. dreadfully alone, for so long. Alone, a social animal withers.
There’s a natural reward in Together. There’s a hunger there, for me. It’s not a kind of hunger that leads to overeating and obesity 😊 It’s a natural hunger, it’s in the genes. I see it in my beagle Bogart when he hears or sees the neighbors’ two beagles (Kooper & Kurby)
The words of a 🎵 come to mind ☺️ – All you Need is Love- not the reward and punishment (non) love, but the natural, non-transactional kind- the not intentionally, premeditatively transactional. (Nature is transactional by design, or evolution).
Thank you again, Peter, for your words, thoughts and emotion being here with me this Easter Sunday. I don’t celebrate holidays of any religion, so it happens, but writing to you right now- this is a celebration.
Anytime I don’t feel Alone- that’s a Celebration!
🎵 🎁 🐇 Anita
anitaParticipantH a P p Y (belated) B I R t H d A y
🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 , Confused!
You are not bad even though you feel like a bad person (when you do).
“But idk” seems like no insight sticks, always doubting.. everything?
🥳 Anita
April 5, 2026 at 11:01 am in reply to: On Purpise and Shame- what is my purpose? What is yours? #456643anitaParticipantGood Easter 🐣 morning, Peter:
Reclaiming the Dignity of the Third Servant- a title of a book 📖 (with an inner- child version for the religious-averse 🙂)
Burying a Seed = A Holy Act of Planting
What was buried was saved from total destruction and.. gets to be resurrected today 🐣 😉
Saved from being futher crushed and weaponized by a system that destroys.
Using my 📱 and a chick hatching from an egg shows up, but here is an old 🐔 who imagines she’s a 🐥
Yesterday, or the other day, when I walked 🚶♀️, I saw the shaded image of me on the road, much like the girl emoji above: slender with a pony tail. In my mind, I was that girl and I was pleased!
What the real 🪞 tells me does not compute. Or is it really the “real” mirror?
“An old man seeing the face of a young boy”- or a young boy seeing the face of an old man, and surprised by the image.
Is it the current system that crushes and weaponizes the truth, that tells us we are old?
A whole cosmetic industry is.. invested on us seeing ourselves as old (multiplying their talents 💰).
So, on this Easter Day I rise against the machine and I declare myself young!
“The kind of quiet that doesn’t ask to be filled” with the current system allows that inner treasure to resurrect.
Your unique, deep truth telling, Peter, is resurrective 🐣
“Innocence looks like hope then”- see the present-tense (look-S)? Well, proof is right there. You are the boy 👦 I am the girl 👧
“Why (love) seems to demand so much”- demands made in the name of love. Like violence done in the name of justice; greed in the name of positive progress.
“A tightening… Keep safe. Keep quiet. This is how hiding begins… What is buried is not gone. It is only waiting.”-
Again, the title of a movie comes to mind: “Waiting to Exhale”. That hoped-for personal and global safety is a mirage. Always has been, from the very “In the Beginning”.
I just read your second post. It’s beautiful. It is caring. I know I’ll have more to say later.
Thank you 😊 🐣🪞🐥 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning 🌅 Confused:
I just read through your early posts and came across something I didn’t notice before (for emphasis, I will use big case letters in the following quote).
Dec 20-21: “There was a conversation though that I didn’t feel very good about at the time. She asked me if I would be able to LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY… I have INTENSE FLIGHT RESPONSES when SWITCHING PLACES (even visiting my second country house where I spent most of my summers growing up) makes me wanna leave and UNABLE TO SLEEP UNTIL 2-3 DAYS HAVE PASSED and I’m settled, strange… Sometimes I think that I TRULLY DON’T WANNA LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY and maybe my mind knows that (or my FEAR OF MOVING elsewhere) and it’s trying to ‘protect’ me by cutting her off.”-
In general, when a person grows up in a home with arguing, screaming, violence, and unpredictable moods (“My family environment was definitely chaotic. A lot of arguing, screaming and violence while growing up.”, Confused, Dec 21), the nervous system learns that danger arrives suddenly: a parent’s mood shifting without warning (calm → yelling, quiet → violent), a slammed door, a sudden quiet, a heavy footstep, etc. Children in chaotic homes become experts at detecting micro‑changes.
The nervous system learns to equate change with danger 🌪️💥😨, and sameness with safety 🧱 🌳 🧘. It’s not a thought like: ‘I think this place is dangerous.’ It’s a body memory. The body reacts before the mind even understands why.
This explanation definitely fits my experience.
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
I imagine the day or night 🌙 you will not analyze a lot 🙂
That would be nice 🙏
B Back 2 u in the morning 🌄
👋 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Maria:
It’ll be 9 days to two years since you posted last, Maria-from-Pakistan 🇵🇰 I so wish to read from you again.
I wish I could have replied to you better, so that you’d have a reason to post again.
I wonder if you’re married by now, I wonder..?
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Nichole:
I understand procrastinating. It’s okay, whenever you post, that’s okay with me.
Yes, Bogart was having a good old time while I was thinking he was sufferring.. a misunderstanding 🙂
Little kisses and 👃 rubs with your kitty 😺 sound delightful 😊
Like a baby, like Bogart
In case you’re wondering, when I’m using the 📱- phone because my own 🖥 was destroyed following a 🍷 + 🐕 incident- emojis keep showing up, and sometimes I ask for them- so here they are, lots of them.
Going to church on Easter 🐣 sounds just ✅️.
As a single woman, maybe you can signal that you’d like to participate in some Easter time with other singles or with a family who would love to include you?
I have no plans for tomorrow other than eating Mac and cheese and walking Bogart.
I think it’s amazingly interesting that you happened to post on FOUR Holly Saturdays so far!
2019 in Chicago, 2022, 2025 & 2026 in Florida.
You had to deal with so much growing up. Similar to me, I think. You’re doing well 👏 considering all that you had to go through.
Easter 🐣 here means rabbits 🐇 are everywhere and Bogart, a beagle, is genetically trained to follow rabbit scent. It’s funny, the other day, a rabbit 🐇 was running in circles right in front of him, but he wasn’t looking 👀 because he was too busy smelling, so he missed the rabbit 😉
🐣 🐇 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Nichole:
I just went on a walk down memory lane and found out something amazing (to me):
Today, April 4, 2026- is Holy Saturday and you posted today.
On April 20, 2019 (Holy Saturday 🕯️) you posted: “Hi Anita. Hope you are well. I am sitting home, finally! With a glass of wine. Pondering life as usual… So true, this time I have to live my own life. And I am. I am surprised at myself how focused I am and determined to live a life I enjoy. It’s just scary when you don’t really know what you want out of life… I do want to own a home but am scared what will happen once I take the leap. It seems to be my main focus. Saving. What will happen once I did it. Where is my life heading. What do I do? Where do I go. It’s always been a thought to go to Florida again.. (I) don’t believe I can do another year in the cold. But do not just want to go somewhere I know nothing about. I do not like that idea. That is why I thought of where I was in Florida.”
On April 16, 2022 (Holy Saturday🕯️), you posted: “Hi Anita, am getting back later than I’d like to have again. A lot has changed since we last spoke. Although I’ve been consistent with work and have caught up financially, it has become so stressful. I’m working in a call center… I’m overwhelmed. I am burned out. I don’t have much enjoyment in my life. It is just work, work, and healing. I feel so alone again… My cat is so needy, I need someone to help me with him at times. I miss someone to go to dinner with. I miss someone to go to the beach with…”
April 19, 2025 (.. Holy Saturday🕯️): “Hi Anita!… It has been years! You have heard of all the bits and pieces and even the ugliest parts of my journey. What a true blessing to be able to have that. Very grateful for this site. Sorry I have taken a while to respond. Honestly, I need to work on that. I can easily get distracted and put more important things on the back burner. But one step at a time…. I almost feel afraid to put myself in my younger self’s shoes. I believe as a child I took on a caretaker role because it was drilled into me that I was supposed to… I can see clearly now that was my identity and I had no identity of my own… I am happy you are finding peace and allowing yourself to care for others again. This is inspiring to me.”
I want to reply further and will in a few hours (I love how you harass your cat, by the way, makes me smile)!
🕯️ Anita
anitaParticipantGood 🌄 Confused:
Developing last night’s sentiment:
Feelings are meant to be felt, not analyzed to death.
Coming to think about it, the old, old phrase “analyzed to death” fits very well with your experience, does it?
👻 Anita
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 