Nine years, my goodness! And we are on the same time zone, Sat 11:43 pm, isn’t it? Back to you in the morning.

me- so good to read from you again! Not focused now, Sat night, will get back to you Sun.

🌿 Anita

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Dear Going Through Life:

You wrote that you are confused about these aspects of your life: career/ job, money, relationships and the future.

Can you pick one aspect, for now, and explain best you can what the confusion is about, as concretely as you can?

🌿 Anita

Dear Tom:

I am going over your posts in this thread.

You started this job at the end of April, or the very beginning of May 2024, a year and 4-5 months on the job.

You coped by reading, practicing gratitude, using a calm app, exercising, going out for fresh air, and posting here, in your thread.

On May 15, you wrote that the company you work for includes more than 150 departments, lots of people involved in what you’re doing there, and if I understand correctly, you’ve been feeling micromanaged and fearing criticism..?

Also, you feel alone at work: lots of people involved, but not a friend among them (“I don’t feel like I have any real ally’s in the team”), and no support on the job (“you are left to fend for yourself almost and learn as you go”).

I wonder if there’s an ER department where you work, if there are parties or social gatherings for employees?

The purpose of an ER dept (I am reading) is to foster a positive work environment: to ensure that employees feel respected, heard, and supported, to fairly and constructively handle disputes between employees or between staff and management, and to support employee well-being.

ER often organizes social gatherings for employees, or they collaborate with HR or Culture teams to make it happen. These events are strategic tools for boosting morale and engagement because when employees feel appreciated, they’re more likely to stay motivated and loyal. Social events allow people from different departments to connect, to feel part of something bigger, to reduce stress and burnout, and to cultivate emotional safety, team cohesion, and a culture where people feel seen and valued.

None of that in your workplace, Tom?

🌿 Anita

Thank you, Neil. I hope that you have a great weekend too!

🙏 🌿 Anita

Dear Tom:

Reading your most recent post made me think of something I read long ago, don’t remember where. Paraphrased, someone asked: How do I get out of this prison cell? (it’s similar to you feeling/ being trapped), and the answer was: don’t try to get out, or don’t desire to get out anymore.

What it means to me is that when you are in a situation where you really are trapped, objectively speaking (having to pay mortgage and bills, and this job is the only job available that makes it possible for the mortgage and bills to be paid), then radically accepting the situation, for now, to no longer resist it, may free you from useless, harmful stress.

Does this make sense to you?

🌿 Anita

Dear Going Through Life:

I hope that soon, going through life will be a more rewarding experience for you, and it will, with better understanding and more awareness (more of these two things is making my life more rewarding 😊)

In regard to SS, we talked about her back in June 2024. We also talked about the fearful- avoidant attachment style.

I know this attachment style personally. For me, it started with a parent who “loved” me at times and deeply hurt me at other times. So, I learned to associate love (affection, emotional closeness) with pain.

Anything like that, in your experience?

🌿 Anita