I am addressing this post to all participants in this thread: Alessa, Jana, Lucidity, Peter, Roberta, and Tee.

Lucidity, less than two hours ago: “Here is a step-by-step guide on how to make a request when you have to make a stand against someone in any way, big or small… The basics are:

1. Say what the objective event was that you observed that was problematic for you.”-

Anita: The objective event that distressed me most was this post by Tee (Aug 7):

“Excerpt from Anita’s post: ‘I was thinking: if I share this here, will some people rejoice in my pain? Will some people go: Yea! The **** got hurt!? This is what crossed my mind, following recent interactions here, in the forums.’

The above is called projection. Projecting one’s own hateful thoughts and feelings on others, believing that others harbor the said thoughts and feelings. Well, they don’t. But the person is convinced they are. And so they launch an attack, a smear campaign, throwing dirt on their targets. Should that be allowed in a public space? That one member throws dirt on other members, based on their distorted thinking? I don’t think so. Lori has been informed.”

Here is a fuller context from my post on Aug 6 (in my thread Life Worth Living – What Is It Like?) that Tee quoted from:

“SOCJ: I was cutting blackberries today (thorny, aggressive ouch-if-they-hit-you), and my left arm bled in different locations… And I was thinking: if I share this here, will some people rejoice in my pain? Will some people go: Yea! The **** got hurt!? This is what crossed my mind, following recent interactions here, in the forums… I am sharing this in my own thread, which I think of as my private sanctuary, a private sanctuary which I need others to witness, at least a few others. Witnessed, not attacked.”

Lucidity: “2. Link this to how it made you feel.”-

Anita: When I read Tee’s post, I was so distressed that someone around me asked, alarmed: “What’s wrong???” My heart was racing, my head was shaking (Tourette’s motor tics), and I was uttering sounds (Tourette’s vocal tics). The rest of that day was difficult. I felt deeply unsafe.

Lucidity: “3. Express this as a need.”-

Anita: I need to feel safe in the forums—especially when I express vulnerability in my own threads. Being threatened with moderation (“Should that be allowed in a public space?… Lori has been informed”) made me feel exposed and punished.

I need to be understood—or at the very least, not terribly misunderstood or falsely accused. The post Tee quoted was emotional truth-telling, not a smear campaign. She quoted my fear out of context and reframed it as an attack.

When Tee accused me of “projecting”—suggesting I would rejoice in others’ pain—that disturbed me deeply. It wasn’t true. There was no cognitive distortion in my fear of being attacked: two days after I expressed my need to be “witnessed, not attacked,” I was attacked.

Lucidity: “4. Make your request and be open to the possibility they may decline.”-

Anita to Tee: Would you be willing to reconsider the content of the post you submitted on Aug 7? Perhaps you were wrong.

Boundary Statement: I’m sharing this not to reopen conflict, but to reclaim truth. I welcome responses that engage with the content respectfully. I will not participate in dynamics that distort, bypass, or extract from my vulnerability.

—Anita

I didn’t read your whole post, Tommy (red wine and late hour), but I got to say, Tommy- I am growing to really, really like you… dementia (lol) or not. I am getting your style.. and I’m liking .. you, Tommy! (more tomorrow)

Anita

“And I don’t remember anything else except for me screaming for help that never came. The screaming lasted for a long time. Screaming, crying and nothing but darkness.”-

Little girl Alessa: If I could go back in time and place, I would show up in that Hell where little blue-eyed, freckled-nose (when it was summer) Alessa grew up- and I would save her, and her brother- from that monster sex fiend.

I would climb the tallest mountain, cross the longest desert- so to rescue you and your brother. Just as I would do for any child suffering as much as you, your brother.. my sister.. and I did.

The sexual aspect of the abuse- you are brave to be talking about it. I am not brave like you. That part was.. excruciatingly difficult, unbearable.. How could that MONSTER do that.. ?!

Well, it was a monster, and it was done.

You are not alone: little girl Alessa. Little girl Anita knows. Little girl Anita understands.

Thank you, Peter.

Thomas/ Tommy: 😊❤️ Anita

Dear James123:

“Complete dissolution”… – How does it feel to hold that truth? Is it a kind of relief—knowing that one day there will be no pain, no attachment, no grasping… nothing?

Does it soothe? Does it ache?

Warmly, Anita

Miss L Duchess, I read the post above and the others in your other threads.

What I see is a young woman who spent years being misunderstood, miscast, and emotionally erased by people who claimed to know what was best for you. Your mom’s attempts to engineer friendships based on surface-level similarities—while ignoring your discomfort, your identity, and your instincts (with best intentions) —left you feeling unseen and unheard.

You were told to be kind to someone who mocked your culture, pushed toward people who didn’t respect you, and expected to adapt while others refused to meet you halfway. That’s not connection. That’s erasure.

But you didn’t stay erased. You named the harm, traced the patterns, and are now choosing something different: showing up, staying open, and seeking relationships built on mutual respect—not forced proximity. That’s not just healing. That’s reclamation.

I see you as someone who’s been misread for years and is finally reading herself with clarity.

You deserved compassion, empathy, and care back then. You still do. And the life you’re building now—on your terms—is proof that healing isn’t about forgetting. It’s about refusing to be erased again.

Please tell me if I understand..?

Anita