Dear Anita

Thank you so much for the prompt reply.

Yes i completely agree with what you are saying here, it is not them moving to another country its me. Why i expressed that was because my family weren’t ever fond of any of my exes, and this one they seem to adore. My mum has been my biggest support in this relationship, my sisters as much as they love him they have also seen that side of him and have advised me to think about it more. My mum on the other hand is trying to keep positive and saying that its the stress from his divorce, working 12 hour shifts (hes in the military), missing his son etc.. there is a lot that could be contributing to his behavior, and he has also used these few things as a reason to why he acts the way he acts sometimes. I mean i think we all know how it is to have a few hour sleep plus stress hanging over your head, it can make one very snappy and irritated.. but then again this could be me making excuses for him again ?

I dont think i am getting too old, but i envisioned myself starting a family now. I have had a very dysfunctional family growing up, never met my biological dad till i was about 20 and was raised by a wonderful man who i called dad, sadly passed away a few years ago, and now my step dad has also passed away a few months ago.. which i guess the wanting to settle down and make my own family is because ive never felt i had a family, a proper one anyway. But like you have said dear Anita, i can settle down at 36 or even adopt a child if i wanted to, there isnt such a rush when it comes to these things.

It doesn’t seem like the best idea, i know. At first i couldnt wait to move, i could not wait for my new life with him. I dont think i have potrayed him as a very nice person to be honest. He is a lovely person, he makes me laugh, hes loving and caring and very mature and most of all very very loyal. My previous partner of 3 years cheated on me non stop throughout our relationship, so trusting any man right now is very difficult, even now i feel like at any given time he can just say goodbye and never contact me or go back to his ex wife etc.. this is where my fears and insecurities come in.

What shall i do? Shall i wait a little longer? Shall i say i need more time to consider this?.. or shall i just give up. I hate giving up on anything 🙁 He does make me happy, just some of his issues that he has pushes me away and i dont know if i can handle this in the long run.

But i totally agree with all you have said Anita, thank you so much !