Thank you Anita! I’m happy to hear that 😊💖

Take care of you too! 🤗

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for your understanding 💖 and for not dismissing my feelings.

Your message helps me even more to see my fear for what it is and the impacte it caused in my life. I feel that we got to the source of it.

I just need to deal with my emotions in a way that they won’t control me and in the end destroy my whole being.

It all would not be possible without your constant and reliable support Anita.

He wrote me another message:

Him: “At the moment, I don’t feel able to take the car and come to see you, but you can come to see me”

Him: “Normally I shouldn’t be up, but I’m in good spirits 😅”

Me: “You need to rest and get better. I’m not in my best form either. Also I feel that we need some time off…have a good night and wish you get better soon”

I hope I gave him a hint in a no defensive manner. Let’s see…

Anita, once again thank you for being here and I hope with time things will improve.

Have a lovely day! ☀️🪻

Big hug to you! 🤗

Dear Anita,

I know that you’re right and want the best for me. It is just emotionally hard for me and something is holding me back now. I don’t know how to brake free and feel good after that decision without guilty conscious.

Your idea of engaging in some enjoyable activities is great 👍 There are not too many possibilities around here but I’ll try to focus on finding something.

Thank you and talk to you later Anita! ❤️

Dear Anita,

Good to hear from you again! Thank you for getting back to me on such a short notice.

Your timeline reminder was very helpful to keep me focused again and more rational. There was a little hope in me but I can see now that meeting him might backfire and lead to more disappointments. And that keeping him as a friend may not be the best idea either…

I reduced texting and told him that I can’t see him at the moment.

I did not want to end things right there as I know now that he is going through some health issues. And he mentioned having a very difficult time. I don’t want that his health gets worse because of me…

I just opened his new message and it looks like it is true and he is struggling. He did send me his new blood test results and there is some issues that obviously stressed him out. I did not expect this at all.

Him: ‘I think we worked well with the team,🙏 I’m a bit knocked out recently, and I have some health issues, which I have to sort out next week 🥹’

Him: ‘Sorry to bother you with this, it’ll be fine, but it’s true that lately I’ve been a bit ko 😅”

Anita, in a strange way I feel really sorry for him and don’t have it in me to end it like that (knowing that he is not well).

It feels like an emotional roller coaster. One part of me wants to end it but the other is feeling guilty and empathetic.

Anita, shall I wait till he gets better and for now just leave it as it is?

I really appreciate your help 🙏 and looking forward to reading your soon.

Thank you again for keeping me on the right path 💖

Have a good evening 🤗

Dear Anita,

I’m happy to read your message and thank you again for your encouragement 🤗

I’m locking all the beautiful advice & your kind
words in my heart.

Have a lovely day & I’m hoping to come back one day with some great news 💕

Take care! xxxx

Dear Anita,

Thank you for your understanding. Yes, I wish that I can spot the spider very quickly and avoid their web as soon as possible without any emotional damage. I’m glad you are here to guide me with that 💝

I can see that he keeps writing messages to me now and is contemplating to meet me very soon. All the smiley emoticons are back too…

Internally, like you said Anita, it is not easy for me to move on from him right now. But I really hope that one day I will be able to escape from that emotional prison and feel free and happy with a decent, honest and humble human.

Thank you Anita for your constant presence. I enjoy talking to you and I wish that this suffering will stop soon. And that one day I can come back with good news and something positive to say 😊

Have a lovely morning & talk to you soon 🙏

Dear Anita,

You’re right Anita. What feels good isn’t always what’s best for us. It felt good to receive the message as I did not want to stop all the contact without having a closure. I always want to make the things right on my part (not just with him but with all my interractions with people). And especially with people I care about.

When I said that I wanted my answers, I meant that I wanted to know why he got so upset that day and if I really caused him some distress, I did not want to end it on that negative note.

He unblocked me on the other media today and said that he felt a lot of pain last week and prays for the peace and joy again. Can you believe that Anita?

Him: “Hi Dafne, yes with time and meditation peace comes back, with confidence too 🙏🌅🫂”

Him: “I wrote to you on WhatsApp, I hope peace returns, but I was in too much pain last week, 🙏

Me: “Hi, we all were in pain last week…my mother as well 🫂 I pray for harmony & joy in our hearts 🙏”

Him: “I am aware that we have all had pain, I felt like I was a liar or a dreamer which is not the case, I hope that we find peace and trust between us, I would like to introduce you soon to the people with whom I work.”

Him: “in relation to my work last Tuesday it was very important, and it is working, I will show you the writings 😀 how was your day?

Me: “the day was a bit hard. I feel tired…”

Him: “there is still flu at this time…take care to rest. I hope we’ll be in good health.”

So now Anita it all seems back to normal…

He expressed his feelings and wants to carry on but somehow I don’t feel like it anymore. The trust is gone and the fear to be blocked again creeps in like the fog.

And I know that I can’t trust the spider again as he already showed his true colors last week.

I’m not questioning about his project anymore and just said that I feel tired now. I don’t feel the same like before.

Would you continue replying to his messages? What if he suggests a meeting?

It is true Anita that he doesn’t have many friends. I asked why before. He told me that had many before but only if there was a good time but once he needed something or real life came, all friends disappeared or were not that helpful. So he prefers to have 1 or 2 friends but of quality. But it looks like he gets offended very easily without really discussing things in a calm manner…

Anita, I think that my self esteem is based on my belief that I am less because I do not have the family I always dreamed of. And my lack of ability to choose the romantic partner for life? And also to quickly recognise the spider and say no! 🙂

I don’t know how you got so strong and overcame those feelings of being not enough? I feel really proud of you 🤗 I was working on myself as much as I could so I don’t feel like a victim all the time. But no strategy that I’ve tried is working.

What else can I do for my self-care? And for my self confidence despite what has happened in my childhood?

And now there is you who helps me in a gentle, yet assertive way to not fall too deep down ❤️ Thank you again Anita…

I feel there is not enough thank you for what you’re doing for me 🙏

Hope to hear from you soon…

Have a beautiful day Anita 🌞

Dear Anita,

Thank you for this insightful summary 💖 It really seems that he is busy with both projects at the same time! Showing me the property ads (without directly asking for help) could be his way of making me take a loan (but voluntarily).
It did not happen so he was waiting…

And now the spider is back!

I feel relieved that he replied and I can have some answers but there is no apology whatsoever. And I’m still blocked on the other media.

He said that he is sad that we cannot understand each other but he doesn’t want this to end.

His further reply: “But I work in a team, it is linked to politics, I know that it is an atypical job, but I also have my food business on the side (he told me before that it was only admin work), and I have a hard time with the successive discouragements between you and your mother. I want your happiness and your security, but I can’t do more, abandoning what I do is not smart given the people involved.”

My reply: “I also feel sad about that. Please know that our intention was not to discourage you but actually to motivate you”

Him: “I didn’t feel this as encouragement but rather the opposite, because for both of you a successful deal in 1 month. In UK, at the institutional level, it takes us several months to get an appointment. As I told you, on the Italian side, in 4 months almost everything is ready. We are looking to do business in order to be part of the stores and really earn by investing in the joint venture, otherwise it is the investors who will earn more than us. I hope we will keep in touch, I wish you a lot of good and you know, I am sad about this situation.”

Me: “Life is not always easy. Some projects need more time. That’s true. But we need to learn to communicate better for the next time so we do not hurt each other by sudden disappearance or lack of understanding that.”

Do you agree with me?

Him:”I agree with you, but I am neither a dreamer, nor a liar, nor irresponsible, I give myself the means to go all the way, the project for two, family life is the most beautiful, but we must not give up what we do. I regret that you did not meet my friend who is a specialist in Asia, my partner in the UK who is linked to cinema or the Italian businessman who did a great job. But I introduced you to other friends who are jealous, they did not even call me for New Year’s Day. They are not people in this kind of business capable of talking, it was a mistake to introduce them to you, instead of reassuring you they put stress on you, I would not have done it”

That’s it Anita…I did not continue replying to this message as I don’t really know what else can I say? Those are his best friends and now he thinks that. I can’t say anything about them as I don’t know them that well. He said some nice words about the beauty of a family life but there is nothing new…

What else shall I say? And is it wise to continue texting him without him unblocking me on the other media?

What do you think of this whole situation now Anita?

I did not really expect him to reply but I’m glad you supported me with the choice I’ve made. And I’ll be even more careful right now as like you said he still might be a spider!

It feels a little bit like a plot from a dark movie now.

I can’t wait to read you Anita 🙏

I’ll wait for your suggestions so I don’t make the same mistake like last time 🫢🙈

Have a good day! And thank you again for being here with me and not leaving me by myself 💝