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  • July 31, 2021 at 3:43 pm in reply to: Ex confusion #383848
    AP
    Participant

    I would like to do it

    My head is totally all over the place but I will definitely take you up. On the offer.

    Thank you again for your guidance

    July 31, 2021 at 3:10 pm in reply to: Ex confusion #383846
    AP
    Participant

    I’m. Sure it will hurt

    Yesterday I got news that a good friend my age (38) died in her sleep

    Life is so ridiculous and precious. This is why I want to be real with her… Tomorrow it could all be over

    So sad

    July 31, 2021 at 11:06 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383840
    AP
    Participant

    I am attentive to my kids

    I am a single parent and my kids are my day and night and they do miss her.

    The rest say is true I’m sure

    July 31, 2021 at 5:56 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383822
    AP
    Participant

    I just felt at home when I was by her side. I had never felt that before and not really since. I am working on it…but that is what I miss. She was my best friend and my lover. That’s everyone dream.. Right?

    July 31, 2021 at 4:23 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383820
    AP
    Participant

    I suppose because I still love her it gave me hope and now I feel back to where I was 2 years ago

    I worked hard on not having her… Its just hard. All hard

    July 31, 2021 at 3:34 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383815
    AP
    Participant

    She just opened up about her kids, told me their struggles and their current paths. She told me why she had kept away – that we had been in a drama triangle (she went through therapy) she said that is why it ended and why she had kept away

    It was warm in the sense that she didn’t just answer one answer, she talked to me. It was heartfelt

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by AP.
    July 31, 2021 at 1:04 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383808
    AP
    Participant

    I completely agree with what you say and I had accepted that 6 months ago when I hadn’t heard from her in 2 years

    But then my question remains

    Why send gifts to the kids, suggest a chat with , all of these things just to remind me that she has a partner and no longer loves me and wants anything to do with our lives ??

    I spent 2 years accepting the fact, telling the kids that we had to move on..

    Now they have the message they can message her whenever and she is always going to be there for them.

    It feels a wound that healed badly but was no longer bleeding has started bleeding again because someone picked at it until it bled.

    Iif there was total certainty I feel she would have never engaged in the first place

    I think she wants to be in that place but like myself, she knows the bond we have.. But she is better at putting her head in the sand

    July 31, 2021 at 1:02 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383807
    AP
    Participant

    I completely agree with what you say and I had accepted that 6 months ago when I hadn’t heard from her in 2 years

    But then my question remains

    Why send gifts to the kids, suggest a chat with , all of these things just to remind me that she has a partner and no longer loves me and wants anything to do with our lives ??

    I spent 2 years accepting the fact, telling the kids that we had to move on..

    Now they have the message they can message her whenever and she is always going to be there for them.

    It feels a wound that healed badly but was no longer bleeding has started bleeding again because someone picked at it until it bled.

    Iif there was total certainty I feel she would have never engaged in the first place

    I think she wants to be in that place but like myself, she knows the bond we have.. But she is better at putting her head in the sand

    July 30, 2021 at 1:48 pm in reply to: Ex confusion #383710
    AP
    Participant

    If my kids write she replys but never initiates. My kids always say they love and miss her and she replies that she loves and misses them.always answers straight away

    July 30, 2021 at 12:49 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383689
    AP
    Participant

    This is for sure a big part of it

    July 29, 2021 at 10:46 pm in reply to: Ex confusion #383685
    AP
    Participant

    Hi

    Sorry about my sloppy typing

    What I tried to say was that maybe I should wait and see where things evolve and not rush in like a bull in a China shop.

    I need to trust in the universe.. But the trouble is I end up being passive and doing nothing and then I get frustrated

    Ii want to be able to find that inner peace AND trust the universe…

    For 2 years I heard nothing and if u would have told me that I would be getting any sort of Communication let alone gifts for my kids I would have said you are crazy. Maybe having me message her that we are moving closer suddenly panicked her as now it needs to be more than words?

    July 29, 2021 at 2:11 pm in reply to: Ex confusion #383666
    AP
    Participant

    Sad, rejected

    Like I lost my soul mate for good

    I don’t want to go in like a bull in a China shop

    If u had told me 8 months ago that I would have received birthday gifts for the kids I would have told you that u were insane.

    Maybe I just need to slow down ND see where things evolve?

     

    July 29, 2021 at 5:23 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383631
    AP
    Participant

    Maybe I would like help to write a letter saying “what are we to you?

    Because now I don’t even feel like a friend and I just can’t get rid of the anger

     

    July 29, 2021 at 5:20 am in reply to: Ex confusion #383630
    AP
    Participant

    When we spoke I appolpgised for the person I became (I basically suggested that we see other people) because she hurt me (she had told me that she was going to move nearer to be with me and then her ex-the mother of her kids said she couldn’t so she back tracked on me) I felt rejected and hurt so I behaved badly.

    I didn’t feel anger from her.. But I do think she is aware that I still have feelings and her getting too close could possibly jepodize her new relationship.. Which is why again… Why did she bother in the first place

    July 28, 2021 at 11:09 pm in reply to: Ex confusion #383621
    AP
    Participant

    Absolutely heavenly…

    And I think that although there is confusion her behaviour is quite clear.. She doesn’t want me. I just wish I understood why she keeps reopening the door.. Because that flicker of hope for me and the kids each time tto have it taken away is a kick in the gut each time again and again.

    how do you let go of something that you don’t want to let go of? How do you move on from someone you stil love. I feel that by asking her how she feels makes me vunrable and wil pull me even lower because isn’t it clear how she feels…? Or, mYbe what is clear is that she doesn’t know how she feels and that is why she keeps popping in and out and if I straight out ask her what is going on she will run away for good

    Sorry for the rambling.. I guess it helps to ping pong it out and thank you for all your wonderful responses x

     

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