Hi there day dreamer,

Your situation sounds so much like that of my own 3 years ago. Terrified of the possibility of pain, yet oh so out of touch with the idea of intimiacy outside the sexual act itself. I had the same issue with the man that is now my boyfriend, I too slept with him and felt a connection through sex, i too wanted to know of his intentions away from the bedroom, I too was afraid of how to get answers regarding his true intentions with me. I ended up just being straight up with him by just telling him that i wanted more than just meeting up for sex…it worked for me as a few days later we agreed to offically date. I know that such a direct approach would not necessarily be an option for you at this point, so why not take the initiative and ask him out say for instance to a movie? Movies are perfect because you can ease yourself into displaying affection especially since you are having difficulty with closeness and intimacy, you can hold his hand while you’re watching the film, you’re still being affectionate but perhaps it wont feel as overwhelming for you. As an added bonus it will give you the opportunity to be somewhere outside your place, away from the bedroom, where you can learn more about how you interact with one another. We as women often feel that we cannot take the initiative, give it a try.