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Wanderer

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #96208
    Wanderer
    Participant

    Hi Sassypants,

    I could relate a lot to what you wrote. I crave excitement also, and struggle to not get bored in relationships. I also seem to get bored with friendships as well. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I’m in the wrong “lane” in life. I don’t belong in the traditional lane, but that’s the one I’ve been dragging myself down for years. Why? I was too afraid to make a change, to be judged, to let people down. I’m slowly starting to change that though. Anyway, back to you.

    People will tell you that every relationship eventually falls into routine and habit. When they get to that point, I want to bolt. Everyone will tell you that love is more important than sex, but in my opinion passion trumps everything. If you don’t feel passion in your relationship EVER, and that is important to you, then you need to move on. I’m in my early 30s, and realizing I need passion in my relationship. That is what is important to me now, and I feel like I am worth the effort and pain of change to welcome that into my life again.

    It’s possible that you will date a few more men over the years before finally “settling” on one that doesn’t give you that passionate feeling. Maybe by then you will have a different set of needs that you can’t anticipate now that another man will satisfy. You have to ask yourself if it’s really worth it to stay with this man and potentially end up resenting him down the road because you feel restricted by the relationship. That’s what it always comes down to for me: I don’t want to resent anyone. I would rather be honest and upfront and go our separate ways to preserve the good stuff in the relationship to hopefully end up friends rather than enemies. Time will show you what is best, but don’t wait too long and always listen to your gut. I hope you find a way that is best for you soon. Good luck!

    #96203
    Wanderer
    Participant

    Hi Hannah,

    Don’t worry, I also teach and whenever I come back from an extended break, I get this feeling in my chest, this tightness and feel like I can’t do it! It’s so annoying, because I’m a good speaker and teacher, when I get up there I have no issue, but I guess being away “from the stage” for awhile gets me out of practice. Maybe that’s what is going on with you also. It’s normal to get nervous, don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Next time will be better, that’s what I tell myself.

    #96202
    Wanderer
    Participant

    Hi Daniel,

    Motivation is hard to come by, especially when you’re young. Do you have goals? What do you want to do after school, and what can you be doing now to help you get there?

    I recommend a newsletter called “Marc and Angel Hack Life.” I am going through a hard time in my life, lots of change, and their newsletters help me to stay motivated, positive and focused. Good luck to you.

    #96200
    Wanderer
    Participant

    Hi Anita, Correct my husband and I have no children. I do feel like staying will leave me bitter and full of regrets in old age. Either way I will go through a period of discomfort. Leaving will at least give me the chance to be in a better situation in the end. I think it’s time to spread my little wings. Thanks for your advice!

    #96199
    Wanderer
    Participant

    Thanks so much, Wendy! All of the questions you ask are definitely things I’ve asked myself. Ultimately, my parents will come around and get over my divorce. I suppose I don’t feel like waiting any longer because I already feel like I’ve ignored my nagging doubts about the life I’m living long enough. Perhaps if I had done the hard work of addressing them, of maybe not getting married for example, I wouldn’t be in this difficult situation. Since posting this I’ve realized I need to go. My husband and I are mulling over the idea of a separation. I told him it would be good for us both to have some time and space away from each other to really evaluate our relationship and figure out if being married is really right for us. I think the only issue with this is that my husband gets lonely very easily; yes he loves me but I truly believe he is one of those men that just wants to be with someone. I suppose my philosophy has become whatever is meant to happen will. I can’t control situations or people, only how I react to them. Thanks for your words and taking the time to give me some advice!

    #91208
    Wanderer
    Participant

    Hi Girish,

    It helps me in any new relationship to avoid setting expectations for it. Just try to relax, and yes you must be yourself! If it’s meant to work, then your new partner will accept and appreciate you for who you really are. Try to remember that no one wants to be with someone that isn’t comfortable enough around them to be themselves. That might help you, looking at it from their P.O.V.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)