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Dear Michelle, Thanks for your words. Those two points you describe were exactly what I felt like, then I feel guilty and angry with myself, but I have been moving on, however this last experience just made me wonder crazy things.
Definitely I am not going to throw myself to the hookup thing, I am starting to think more clearly and that is not what I want.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
- This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by Kay.
After reading it again, yes, that sounds just crazy, even if that was the reason he disappeared.
I can think of dozens of reasons about me and my life by which he would not want to be with me and I discussed with him the main ones, he seemed do not have any problem with that, but maybe it was something else I do not even know. Definitely I would have liked to know the reason(s) or at least to know that he was not longet interested. But that is something that probably I will never know…
Thank you Inky! I would definitely forget about online dating apps and try to meet people in real life through connections
Thank you for your heartwarming response.
Inside me I know that random hook ups are not the answer, but I feel so frustrated, because this last man I met just disappeared after he knew I do not have sex experience. He really seemed like a great man. I kind of did the things you mentioned, we saw each other in public places, we asked a lot of questions about each other, but I guess we did not know each other well enough, and eventually when the sex topic came out he would leave one way or another. That is what really frustrates me the most right now.
Yes, I realize what he did to me, for many weeks I felt so angry with myself for letting that to happen, but finally I kind of forget myself and I stopped thinking about that. I know I have to get tested, but I think I have been delaying that because I do not want to bring the shame and angry again, but definitely it is something I will do.
And yes again, having any kind of relationship is a challenge for me. The point is, most of my friends are already married, with families and their own lifes, and everytime I just feel more isolated, even when I try to keep me busy when I have free time to think about that. I am not looking my self for a sexual lover, but it seems like that is the only important thing for men.
I was raised in a conservative latino culture and raised Catholic. During my childhood there was a point in which I had friends, but then I got isolated and became more like an introvert, I do not really remember exactly how that hapened.