You are talking about the vagus nerve. I’m over 40 and have suffered just like you, my parents would take me to dr after dr and i’ve tried every diet (not for weight loss) thinking it was foods or the combinations. I did find out I’m gluten free and that helped. but about 2 months ago I tried hypnotherpy, after 3 sessions, i am almost cured. You do have control over it.
Wow Suze, I could have written this. I am 42 and am a jack of all trades and a master of nothing. I’ve been at my job almost 10 years. I’ve been on meds for dep and anx for about 8 years now. I’m at a time in my life where I feel lost and have no purpose. I too tried thiking back to what I used to like to to do. I am starting by volunteering at the anmal shelter to walk dogs. I joined a meditation meetup group that I will start going to. I don’t have an answer for you but I do hope you find the right meds, sometimes it takes a few to get the right cocktail for you. Hang in there.
I was going to also say don’t worry what they think. I do understand how you feel tho, you have to see these people all day almost every day. I would “play the field” have an expensive lunch one day with that group, sit with the guys one day, and float around. Some days you can also sit by yourself and read a book. Good luck and don’t worry about so much.
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