It must be hard to know that you have been treated poorly and that you cannot do anything about it.
I believe for all of us is how we value ourselves is reflected with the people we have in our lives.
I believe that if I value myself then I would not tolerate someone who mistreats me.
It sounds like that is really hard to do for you. I get that. You are young. He is your first romantic relationship. You are still trying to figure out who you are, how you fit into this world, and how other people are.
I see every relationship is a learning opportunity about ourselves.
If you want advice, I am sure you will get plenty; from here and from your real life friends and family.
I believe it will be useful for you to understand who you are. If you don’t know what your core values are, what is important to you, what you stand up for and what you will not tolerate then dealing with life and the people in your life will be hard and confusing.
For me, it is about loving myself. For me, it is about integrity and honesty. For me, it is trusting that I am enough and that I am lovable.
I wish you love and peace.