Forum Replies Created
July 1, 2014 at 1:00 pm #60052MParticipant
Thank you all for your kind words! I miss both the companionship aspect of the relationship and him, I think, but I’m sure it would be easier if I had more to do to keep busy on weekends (well, at least I am fortunate to have a great relationship with my family so I can keep semi-busy.) I don’t think it’s a cop out to say “I love you but…” as I do feel like I loved him as a friend (and I do love my friends!) but obviously there are different kinds of love, and sometimes that is just not enough.
@juv3, it’s so strange immediately going through this phase of regret, wondering whether I did the wrong thing or acted too soon because really, I’ve spent so much time thinking about this and was so sure that it was the right thing to do. And really, I do know that it was. Best of luck to you in the future and I hope you also are able to find peace after your breakup! I’m feeling a lot more settled about it today and after just sending him his things and telling him that I’d be there in the future if he ever wanted to reconnect. Nothing has changed but I feel like that was what I needed to do to be able to let it go. It does really help hearing from and reading about people who have made similar decisions, so thank you for sharing your story.June 30, 2014 at 8:22 am #59940MParticipant
Thank you both @blaice and @butterflynurse78 for your perspectives. I don’t really have any intention of reaching out to him and telling him I’m sorry, etc. because I do recognize that that is not beneficial to either of us (even though it would make me feel better in the short term.) I just am having a hard time with this and needed to vent. It’s also been difficult because I don’t have much of a social life in my hometown, which is where I currently live. I didn’t have many friends when I moved back and easily transitioned into hanging out with him and our mutual friends, whom I would consider more of his friends than mine, so it’s weird to go from an active social life to nothing. I know that will be a lot easier to deal with when I move.
Erin, I appreciate your perspective of feelings of love growing over time, which is not something that I heard about too often. I’m actually a little surprised myself by the intensity of my feelings surrounding this because initially I wasn’t having a hard time when we were acting as friends… though yes, I recognize the “having your cake and eating it too” part of that. I totally left it up to him and that was what he wanted to do, and I guess I didn’t have enough experience just then to recognize that that doesn’t really work right away. For now I just sent him a box of his stuff with a note saying that if he ever wants to talk in the future, I’d be here (I was going to do this when I moved but he actually did contact me to ask for his stuff yesterday.)