Thank You Valora and inky, margie, …

anita.. sometimes your responses are hard to read. i know your trying to help but your very in your face . and idk if thats everyone’s cup of tea. But ill take it  because im desperate.  I know that letting him go has been the best because he hasn’t given me more. but the process  its hard its isnt about letting having someone have control over your emotions its about it hurting no matter what you do … its about hurt being about of your heart no matter how hard you try to push forward. I can choose him not be about of my day but my heart is still breaking. but biggest questions in who am i with out him? who am i without my kids… who am i when i stay home alone and have no one….. and why the fuck do i deserve to be alone when iv sacrificed  everything in life to be everything i should be to be better and a good mom.  why me??

thank you marge, What did you do to ease your emotions and feelings when you went through your break up? I really feel crazy at times like nothing calms me. i dont want to sound weak are crazy but its a awful feeling. i know i need to push forward but going through the process is not easy.

Thank You Anita.

Mark, That website link was very insightful. Thank You.

Chantel.

Here recently when I told him that I would be willing to untie my tubes the response that I got was that it would cost to much. As far as I know over the last 3 years he has been faithful … I have asked him if he is just keeping his options open and he tells me he has had options and has never taken those opportunities because that’s not what he wants. and that he is not a unfaithful person.

As far as my kids go, he says hi to them and isn’t rude but try’s to come when they are not around because he says its not far to them to if he is around them but yet we don’t even no what is going to happen to us.

I feel like it is just one excuse after another. Yes the whole kid thing is a big deal I understand that but he knew that three years ago. I don’t want to believe that he has used me because I whole heartily believe he has had other woman offer to be with him and if he really wanted he would had been gone a long time ago. is that dumb of me to think?