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Cindy

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #72888
    Cindy
    Participant

    Svankmaj,

    It’s nice to hear from a fellow HSP. I know exactly how you feel, and I wish I had some other advice to give you besides this: give it time. From my own personal experiences with these types of situations, I’ve found that only the passing of time will help dull the horrible things you heard and saw in this film. The best thing to do is avoid these kinds of movies altogether, but I know you said that you didn’t realize just how violent and offensive this film would be. It’s not always obvious from the previews. I hope for your sake that it won’t take too long before the images and words stop replaying in your head. I know how that can rob you of your inner peace. Anyway, just know that you are not alone. There are other people out there who understand you and what you’re going through. I’m sending you lots of positive thoughts and good wishes!

    #72749
    Cindy
    Participant

    Sally,

    I know that sometimes feelings of anger, resentment, and hatred can be overwhelming, but I think it’s important for you to remember that in the long run, these feelings will only hurt you, not your ex-husband. If you let the feelings take over and do something that can’t be undone, then he ultimately wins, and you will lose your children. It sounds to me like you love those kids very much and have been a good mother to them. Don’t let him take that away from you. Call on your family, your friends…anyone who can act as a support system for you. Let them help you pick yourself up and keep going for the sake of you children. Don’t let someone else’s actions control your life. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. Show this man that you’re above his lies and manipulations. Be indifferent toward him. Find peace in the people in your life who love you and matter to you. I’m sending you positive thoughts and warm wishes. You can pull yourself out of this. You can be the bigger person. You already are, and will continue to be as long as you don’t let your ex-husband get to you. Keep in mind that he’s trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t give him what he wants. He doesn’t deserve it.

    #70152
    Cindy
    Participant

    Cheyenne,

    I was unable to find your previous posts, so I don’t fully understand your situation, but I have recently come to believe that anyone who feels genuinely sorry for their past mistakes deserves forgiveness. We are human beings; we make mistakes. I recently made a big mistake that caused a major upset in my life, but the people who really matter have stuck by me and have reminded me that my mistakes don’t have to define me. I recently read a really powerful quote. It said, “Forget it enough to let it go, but remember it enough so that it doesn’t happen again.” You’re right…it’s a new year, and it’s time for a fresh start. You have tried to apologize for your mistake…that’s all you can do. Whether or not someone wants to accept it is their business. You cannot control other people’s actions, only your own. If you truly regret your mistake, make a vow to never repeat it, and do all you can to forgive yourself. Trust me…I know this is easier said than done. But every day is a new opportunity to turn your life around, to become a better person, and to let go of the past. Another great quote: “When the past comes calling, send it straight to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.” Best wishes to you, my fellow human being and mistake-maker. We are works in progress…may we only get better with time.

    #69375
    Cindy
    Participant

    Thank you, Anne. I appreciate your advice. It’s been very helpful to me. I really did fall for Tim, and it completely blinded me to my sense of right and wrong. I know that’s not an excuse…I still should have known better. I’m trying to see this whole situation as a life lesson. I will learn from it and never repeat this behavior. I do want to feel happy again, but you’re right in what you said in your first post. It will take time to grieve these losses. I will try every day to work toward forgiving myself and becoming a better person. The kindness and understanding of a stranger has helped to give me a push in the right direction, so I thank you. 🙂

    #69303
    Cindy
    Participant

    Thank you for your responses, Yue and Inky. Yue, I have actually had the apology letter suggested to me before, and I think it’s a good idea. Maybe it will help. Inky, you’re right, that is not who I am, and I don’t want my mistake to define me. I try to keep telling myself that, but it’s hard. Barbara, I’m sorry that you were hurt in your past. I’m not trying to justify or excuse what I did. You’re right…I was being selfish. I was not thinking about anyone else but myself, and even though the wife had herself cheated on Tim, that did not give either me or Tim an excuse to do the same. I will forever regret the part I played in this toxic situation, and all I can do now is try my best to move forward.

    #69245
    Cindy
    Participant

    I guess I always had the hope that he was going to fall in love with me and leave his wife. Another thing I feel guilty about…wanting their relationship to end so I could have him.

    #69238
    Cindy
    Participant

    Thank you, Anne. I appreciate your feedback.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)