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I saw this and immediately went back to my other thread, thank you for the reminder.
I’m going to enjoy my weekend once I get off work tomorrow afternoon. It’ll be a full weekend for me even with having to work tomorrow since I’ll be off through Monday for the holiday.
Times are hard as I still have question marks in regards to my overall health & wellbeing, functionality, etc. My work life has been really good, I passed an exam that I have been waiting to take for a while. It’s been busier and I’ve been taking on and been given more responsibilities/ independence in my position. All good things, getting me closer to where I want to be. My personal life isn’t so terrible, but some of my loved ones are not having the best time of their lives and it’s hard to be there for it sometimes. I love so deeply and I hate seeing the people I care about hurting or struggling. I don’t care to share all kinds of details of their problems but that’s the cause of my current tough times. It’s a lot of feeling down, worried, stressed, scared, confused. What do you do sometimes. It’s hard because I don’t know how I’m supposed to react and feel around other people, the ones I care about. I don’t want to be selfish and not be involved in their struggles, I want to be there for them and help them through it. At the end of the day it’s always easy for me to say it’s all alright, things get better. But other people don’t get that, are a lot more pessimistic so it can be hard to be a supporter who is so positive.
Per Anita’s reminder I’ve returned to this thread! It’s been a while but of course I’m still facing the same issues I’ve mentioned as I have.. forever lol.
@Anita, you are so right. All the anxiety and stresses my body processes is more than likely a factor, if not the leading one in why my body doesn’t function properly. I am working to make peace with my body and mind and am in high hopes that one day I am functioning a lot better 🙂 Figuring out why I feel the way I feel is definitely hard though.
@nycartist I’m sorry to hear about the struggles you’ve also had relating to menstruation. Almost everything you mentioned I have had checked, I’ll have to double check if I have had all of those labs run for sure though. I have considered seeing someone more holistic but I’m not sure what exactly I should look for when seeking someone like that. An auto-immune disease has crossed my mind as well. Researching all my symptoms has been a blessing and a curse because now I’m more knowledgeable but I also have a huge list of things that MIGHT be wrong with me but I don’t know how to totally advocate for myself so it’s been a journey. I’m confident that I will get answers in time or that my body really will find it’s happy place. I have a lot of life left so I need it to get it together lol.
Thank you guys so much, sending my best
Thank you for your input on this topic. I researched the conditions that you mentioned and have jotted them down to bring up at my appointment on Wednesday. I don’t know what else to really think I have a list of possibilities, but as my doctor mentioned to me maybe my body just really isn’t in it’s happy place and I should just keep trying to lose a handful of pounds. I am just thankful to be listened to/ heard.
Thank you Anita, you are always appreciated, your dedication to helping/educate others shines through!
Also wanted to note that I tried like 4 different times to type this and post back, but I kept accidentally closing my browser since I am switching screens so much, I’m at work haha. Can you really not paste anything in here or is it just me? would be so helpful lol.
Hi Anita & Zeeza
I’d like to acknowledge that you both replied, thank you for your support 🙂 I suppose I’ll break down my feminine health history for you.
I first started my period when I was 12. This first period lasted maybe 5 days at the most, after that I did not have another for several months. Between the time I was 12-20 I never had a regular/consistent period. Around the time I turned 20, I had been having the longest, heaviest, most painful period I had ever had to experience. It was April 2018 when I went to get checked out while having this terrible experience with my period. I received inconclusive lab and vaginal examination results. The only thing that was concluded after that visit was that I am very anemic. I was then put on a birth control pill to cause me to have a regular flow. Immediately after starting the pill I began having a regulated period (actually just withdrawal bleeding but let’s just continue referring to it as a period lol). My periods were lasting a good 3 days a month for 1 whole year, until I stopped using due to my prescription running out. I did not go back to renew the prescription because I don’t mind not having a period, which is how it essentially always is if I am not taking BC and because I was no longer very sexually active. Between April/May 2019 when I stopped taking BC and December 2020, I had very few natural menses. This past December I decided to start taking BC again due to being very sexually active again and to ensure that pregnancy is prevented. During that month I ended up getting my period and it lasted about 2 weeks, for me it wasn’t what I expected but also wasn’t too bad. Come the beginning of January I began having really bad abdominal/pelvic pain. I am usually a trooper because I didn’t have a primary doctor for the longest time so I would avoid going to be seen, however at this time I ended up making a trip to the ER because the pain and discomfort was so intense. After having tests done, hours later I leave with no answers but at least medicated so I felt better for the night. About a day later I started my period once again, and it would last for about two weeks again, this made me start to think my pain was definitely related to my period problems. So come February I’m still taking this BC pill, hoping that my period starts to regulate itself now that this is the third month that I have been taking the same pill that made me flow normally in the past. The bleeding started right at the beginning of the month and lasted until March 1st. I was so fed up with the irregularity at this point I decided I would stop taking the BC. So here I am nearly 5 months later and I have all the symptoms but no period and obviously not pregnant and I take tests routinely. With it having been on my mind heavily anyways and a couple of really close ladies in my life opening my eyes with their all of a sudden feminine issues, I decided to find myself a primary doctor who is an OBGYN, and get myself checked up. So I had an appointment this month on the 8th, where my doctor and I spoke about what’s been going on and she decided to order more labs to have done along with an ultrasound. I got the labs done within that week, and had my ultrasound done last week. I was viewing the results on my chart online, and saw that my doctor had left notes saying that everything looks essentially normal and we will go over this when I go to see her again which will be August 4th, where I will have my first pap smear done as well. I want my body to work the way it’s supposed to, or at least know why it isn’t working how it should. I would like to know if I’m totally infertile, if I’ve got some random disease or whatever any other case could be.
Thanks for reading if you did
TeaK! I’m sorry I wasn’t paying enough attention to who replied! My fault for doing this at work lol.
You’re absolutely right about food being a forbidden pleasure.
As far as my mother goes, she was probably the least critical adult family member in my life. While I have always had the most love & appreciation for her I never actually had a very close relationship with her, until the past couple of years. She was always there for me ya know, but I never really “needed” any emotional support so I don’t think I received it. I don’t know, hard to explain I guess I would say I had a fear of everything for a long time, I was very not open about things that I felt or thought. This has carried into my adulthood but not as severe.
There is one instance that occurred while I was in high school that did leave me feeling a little indifferent and not supported by my mother. I had an appointment with my primary doctor when I was 16, where I expressed to my doctor that I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and would be interested in receiving any kind of help for that. My mother essentially brushed this off when my doctor relayed this information to her, and asked me if I really needed help.
It’s unfortunate to hear you have suffered from an ED yourself, I hope you had a good road to recovery and have a much healthier relationship with food.
I’m not sure lack of nurturance would be the root of my problem, perhaps in a way? To answer you though, it would have benefited me to have healthier food options, less fried, processed, greasy, carb heavy, fatty, sugary foods available. Of course my parents did not feed me absolute garbage or anything they provided well. As far as eating when expected to, skipping dinner or any meal shared with the family wasn’t really an option, I couldn’t just say I wasn’t going to eat, and on few occasions through my life I experienced the typical “you can’t leave until you finish your food”. This wasn’t necessarily traumatizing or anything, it’s just choices I would make differently if I had been able to.
I’m just about positive the reason for my poor relationship with food is because I was made to feel bad about the way my body looked from almost the beginning of my life at this point. As far back as my memories go there has always been someone to say something about me being overweight, telling me I probably shouldn’t eat something so I don’t gain more/ turn out like my grandmother who was a very obese woman. I don’t know, I think even if that’s not what did it for me, it’s still pretty messed up to tell a small child there’s something wrong with them like that. This had definitely made me feel the need to sneak food. I have had almost a whole lifetime of feeling guilty for being hungry when hunger strikes. I eventually started convincing myself that hunger actually really felt good. But here I am indulging in everything that sounds good to me lately.
I’m glad you found my post, I look forward to hearing from you again.
I hope you’ve been finding comfort and coolness throughout this severe heat we’re having in the PNW, hopefully after today we go back to our usual summer temps. It’s been manageable for me, but I run cold as I’m pretty anemic and am in love the sun!
I have had a significant history with binging and purging through my middle school and high school days, a little bit into my adult life. I often feel the urge to purge when I eat a lot even now, however I ended up stopping completely as an adult since I realized how much of a toll it took on my teeth, along with the fact that it never made me thinner, just let me feel better physically and mentally about eating so much.
I always figured after I turned 18 things would get better for me as far as meeting my fitness goals because I would no longer have to eat what my parents provided, or when they expected me to but I was wrong there. Not eating in general (to an extent ya know) became easier since I had more freedom but then I’d find myself returning to the binge life. It’s hasn’t been until this past year and a half that I felt more in control of my body and felt like I was on a path to a positive body image with an actual healthy lifestyle incorporated.
For whatever reason I can’t help myself lately and have been feeling incredibly unmotivated, no desire to workout not even the slightest of exercises sound doable, especially during the summer and with this recent unusual heat here I’m struggling badly. Food and bed are calling my name, and an easy walk around the neighborhood is not. I want to convince myself that it’s okay not to meal prep every week and workout daily, but then by the end of the week I feel bad about myself and feel like the way I look and physically feel has drastically changed. But I step on a scale and nothing has changed, my clothes don’t necessarily fit different unless I have just had something significant enough to eat to make me bloated, but I still feel this awful wave of disappointment in my body.
As always, not sure what else I have to say about this at the moment but I will gladly read anyone’s advice or personal experiences with ED/negative body image.
Sorry for this very late reply, I’ve had a much busier week at work than usual which means it’s been a great week 🙂 I only find myself on here for the most part during my work day. I’ve been doing pretty good, can’t complain at all! How have you been?
In reply to the previous time you posted here:
There has been no other charges, allegations etc. involving K in the military or in general. Over the past week I have been thinking about this whole thing very mildly on and off since there’s not really much I can do about it.
Thank you for your sources provided. The female who accused him of assault is not in the military. I definitely understand where you are coming from, and it’s not like I never considered the fact that he could have actually committed the crime I just truthfully believe based off of the finer details that I have knowledge of that he didn’t do what this person has claimed. The fun and fear co-existing translates to essentially making the best of/ trying to live it up before there is no longer something to live for. K is also fairly close to my family and for him to share what is going on with him during down times at least with my brother who has had a somewhat similar situation is kind of big and something I don’t think he would do if he weren’t being 100%. I think about it pretty often how I am dating someone who has potentially done such an awful thing it’s one of the least expected situations I would have ever imagined myself in. I am 10000% about women’s empowerment and would not have ever imagined myself supporting the suspect in a case like this. It makes me feel bad myself as I worry about the way people perceive me and I don’t want people to think I’m terrible for still supporting K/ not believing the girl.
Good afternoon! Tiny Buddha hasn’t being cooperating and didn’t post my reply the last 2 times I tried. I think we barely missed each other last night when you last replied I don’t think you saw my reply I had just summited! I will await your next response before I have anything else to spill out. Hope you’re having a great sunny day 🙂
Good morning/afternoon! I think we barely missed each other when we both last posted. My last reply was finishing the message I had started while I was at work. I’m sure I will have more to say once I get another insightful response from you 🙂