Hi Mia,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I’ve been down the same road as you. I was depressed during my childhood and most of my young adult life. I was plagued with some of the same issues too. I really admire that you recognize these feelings within yourself and are taking time to address it now, before you make any major life changing decisions (motherhood/marriage, etc).

Part of my past unhappiness is that I had an emotionally painful childhood. I interpreted my parent’s lack of emotional love and attention to mean that in some way I was flawed and unlovable. I also felt very lonely, because I was so afraid of getting to know myself. I had conditioned my mind to think I was a bad/ugly person. I finally overcame those feelings through years of therapy and treatment for depression. I had to stop seeking validation from others and give to myself the love and care that I wasn’t receiving.

It sounds like you could benefit from therapy. Please talk to someone at your school to see if they can recommend a therapist for you to speak with about your feelings.

You also stated you feel stressed about school. Have you really asked yourself why you picked the subject you did? I spent one year studying business and even wasted $ on the GMAT exam, only to finally realize I hated business, but I choose that major because I believed business is the pathway to a lucrative career. Yes, studying is going to be challenging no matter what the topic is, but if you are having a hard time staying focused, please consider exploring other areas of interest that don’t feel so much like a chore.

As for understanding your purpose, once you get to know who you are and embrace what is unique about you, you will then understand why the reason you are here and what your purpose is on earth.

I hope that you continue to address your feelings until you can solve them. Please take my advice and seek out a therapist. This is a little bit much for you to handle all alone.

I wish you the best.

I’m sorry to hear about your accident. I hope your future surgery and recovery go well. Sometimes we have to go through trials in our lives to find out who the people that sincerely love and care about you really are. This is also an opportunity for you to get to know you better. You should also consider your-self fortune that your injury wasn’t more severe.
I believe you are on the right path getting treatment for your depression. If you are still having repetitive, unpleasant thoughts notify your physician he/she may need to make adjustment to your medication. Talk therapy is good too to sort out your feelings.

In the meantime, do not date or get another FWB situation until your depression has lifted. You need to focus on you and your recovery.

That’s such good advice Janice!

It sounds like you had a causal relationship with someone and developed deeper feelings for her than what she had for you. You are probably more hurt over what you were hoping things would eventually be between the two of you, than what they actually were. This girl might not even know how you really feel, because it was never communicated. She’s probably just doing what most people do by keeping her options open until she gets a boyfriend.
Nothing is wrong with feeling disappointed, that’s a part of being human, but you should take time to self-evaluate to understand how a person who was giving you so little in a relationship can have such a big impact on your self-esteem.
If you don’t identify why you may be sensitive about getting attention and affection, you may come off as being too needy. That will scare her and other girls away.
If you still want to pursue this girl, confirm whether or not she has a boyfriend, get to know each other as friends and then discuss what type of relationship you are interested in having with her. Also, keep your options open until you are in a committed relationship. A guy your age should be socializing and getting to know different girls, before settling down with just one.

You appear to be an intelligent person that is going through the plight of a career change. It is even more challenging when you are starting a new career and are above the average entry-level age. My previous experience as an intern, I was treated like a joke to some of the company employees. Years later I have long passed those folks by and most are still in the same spot. So I know how you feel, but you can’t internalize how people at your apprenticeship behave, you just have to keep the mindset that you are there temporarily to learn and move on. Appreciate the opportunity to get your foot in the door because paid apprenticeships, internships and shadowing opportunities are hard to come by. If you let this experience poke holes in your confidence you will be stuck.
My advice to you is start thinking now about what you wish your next position to be and start preparing for it, by joining professional organizations in your industry, subscribing to media related to your desired profession, taking coursework, and networking. Talk to people who are where you are trying to go. You can meet a lot of higher ups at conferences. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere, but most people are given the biggest breaks because somebody liked them and/or they kissed the right toes.

Good luck to you!