I had several things hit me all at one time. Individually, they’re ‘not a huge deal’, but since they all came on at once, it feels overwhelming. I have always been overweight, a binge eater, depressed, and anxious. This all intensified when I went away for college. I gained a ton of weight and binge ate every day. When I had to leave my job a year ago, I became an emotional alcoholic. I drank about 3-4 days per week until I passed out. I was never physically dependent on it, but emotionally I was. I was lonely and bored and the alcohol helped numb those feelings.

I had to leave my job because of back problems. My L5 vertebra is fused with my sacrum, which causes me a LOT of pain. I am also morbidly obese, and that, of course, does not help the back pain. I also developed asthma and TMJ around the same time. So right now I am dealing with Bertolotti’s Syndrome (name of the back defect), obesity, TMJ, asthma, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and binge eating disorder. I am also transgender (I don’t consider that a ‘disorder’, but some doctors do). Again, individually those things might be okay, depending on the person who is having to live with them, but when you’re dealing with them all at once, it just feels so hopeless.

I track my food on SparkPeople. I have about 170 pounds to lose, so taking it slow is the way to go, as much as I don’t want to 😉 Anyway, what I do is take down the allotted number of calories each week. I think I started at 2800 calories allowed per day (to maintain my current weight) and now I have taken it down to 2300. It’s nice to gradually go down, because each week gets easier.

I agree. Knowing that I can vent to my friends is amazing. Even if they just say “Hang in there, I believe in you”, it makes me feel a million times better.

I feel like I’ve wasted years, too. I’ve been taking college courses since I was 17 and a junior in high school. Now I’m 23 and have yet to get a college degree. I just can’t pick a major. Like you–and many others on here–I struggle with depression and anxiety. Nothing excites me, nothing interests me, I really don’t have much of a passion for anything. I’ll pick something that I think seems cool and a month or two into it my motivation is GONE and I end up dropping my classes. I’m really not sure what to do.

Be glad you have a degree 🙂 I assume that will help in getting you some type of job, even though it may not be what you’re passionate about?

Good luck to you!

I know just how you feel, too. I’ve always been shy and only ever had a few close friends. I went to university and left my high school friends behind. I made friends at college, but as soon as I left, they all dropped off the face of the earth, it seemed. I was working at a department store and had friends there, but I had to quit a year ago (I developed a back problem that prevented me from being able to perform the duties of the job) and I NEVER get a call or a text or a Facebook message asking me to hang out. I had a really good friend, we considered ourselves each others best friend, there, and she hasn’t spoken to me at all. When I tag her in a Facebook note or write on her wall, the most she will do is ‘Like’ it. I know that we have grown apart, but it’s just a shame. I feel hurt that she is able to let me go so easily, you know?

I live alone and that is another reason why I’m lonely. I also have NO money, as I am still unable to work, to go out and take classes or visit places, and I struggle even with volunteering because I can’t be on my feet for more than a few moments. It’s a really difficult time in my life right now.

Just know that there are others out there who are able to sympathize with you 🙂

-Si