Dear Sarah,

I understand your feelings, that lonely feelings. Especially it would be harder if you have had bad experiences with your partner… However, not only you have the lonely feelings, most of people do feel lonely nowadays, including myself…So let’s chat and share our sadness as well as happiness together through this site, let’s have self compassion with ourselves as well…

Love

Anita

Hello Sarah and Becky

Like you both, my life has not been the greatest up to now, that is how i feel right now, but when i am feeling okay about life I can see that my life has had some sparkling moments. Due to childhood that was not the greatest I have grown up relying on me and am quite a loner because I realised long ago that the only person who you can truly rely upon is yourself, however this does lead for a lonely existence and when things go wrong in your life there is no one to help or turn to, but reaching out is scary because we risk being hurt. Friends should be non-judgemental and should be there for us, just as we would be for them, if they cannot be then this says more about them than us and it just means a better friendship is out there for us.

If i can support in anyway I am here x

Sarah,
I too am struggling with feelings of loneliness. Together with depression and anxiety, the feelings of being alone and lost in the world can be very very painful. I’m still recovering from a break-up from a 7-year relationship. Rest assured that you are NOT alone even though your “friends” are no longer supporting you. Try writing your feelings down in a journal, know they are only temporary – as real as they are – they will NOT last forever. I’ve recently checked into doing some volunteer work so that I can break away from these feelings of being so alone. I’m so glad you posted in this forum and am sending you lots of light and love – you are not alone. I hope you can feel the love I’m sending.

Sarah, I understand your feeling of loneliness and the constant need to feel wanted. I think what you have to do is truly look inside yourself and figure out what kind of people you want in your life. It seems as if your friends that have left you and the people that are on Facebook are part of the problem and it might be a good idea to remove yourself from this situation. Don’t bother to be friends with people that are just going to cause you more anxiety and depression. I have had some friends in my life that I had to let go of, as much as I didn’t want to, and it was the best decision of my life because I did not feel anxious about those people anymore and and I soon found more friends that don’t make me feel that way and now they are my best friends. When it comes to Facebook, I find it is only going to make your situation worse because you are probably comparing yourself to other peoples’ profiles and wanting their attention also. I gave up Facebook for a while and it was great because I found myself having true relationships with people instead of just checking up on other people and being sad that their lives looked much better than mine. I think it is a good idea to take a break from facebook and to focus on yourself and what kind of people you really need in your life in order to be happy. There are soulmates and friends out there for everyone, but it is all a matter of looking in the right places, so do things that you make you happy and you will find amazing people along the way that will accept you for who you are. 🙂

Hi Sarah

I hope my input here will help you see you are not alone. I am 47 and had a pretty good life until 2009 when my world fell apart….i mean literally…i lost everything including my sanity. What i went through is still affecting me and i have been spinning out of control ever since trying to fill that void. I have moved countries and back again numerous, times tried different things that my friends thought were mad until i realised i didn’t have any friends anymore. I was the “loose cannon” Now i am a rock bottom with no job no money but i have one friend who has stayed with me through all and even though i am still beating myself up emotionally (and drinking and smoking heavily…something i never did prior to all this…)

So i decided to get help and went into a clinic for severe depression, paranoia, anxiety and general feelings of hopelessness.

There has to be an end and a way out…sometimes we have to fall apart but at some stage we have to climb out and never be afraid to ask for help, professional help that i know from experience, friends can’t deal with and will back off as they did to me.

Due to the decisions i made in my life, life will never be the same, ever but we just have to have faith and keep going forwards…step by step…….

My warmest Regards to you…..and alll others who post here…..

• This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by Sara Lindsey.

I know just how you feel, too. I’ve always been shy and only ever had a few close friends. I went to university and left my high school friends behind. I made friends at college, but as soon as I left, they all dropped off the face of the earth, it seemed. I was working at a department store and had friends there, but I had to quit a year ago (I developed a back problem that prevented me from being able to perform the duties of the job) and I NEVER get a call or a text or a Facebook message asking me to hang out. I had a really good friend, we considered ourselves each others best friend, there, and she hasn’t spoken to me at all. When I tag her in a Facebook note or write on her wall, the most she will do is ‘Like’ it. I know that we have grown apart, but it’s just a shame. I feel hurt that she is able to let me go so easily, you know?

I live alone and that is another reason why I’m lonely. I also have NO money, as I am still unable to work, to go out and take classes or visit places, and I struggle even with volunteering because I can’t be on my feet for more than a few moments. It’s a really difficult time in my life right now.

Just know that there are others out there who are able to sympathize with you 🙂

-Si

Just a quick reply to my own post. After writing the above, I started googling my symptoms and I came across something called “Existential loneliness”, which is different from interpersonal loneliness and can’t be alleviated by more social connections.

http://personalitycafe.com/general-psychology/3024-existential-loneliness.html

I guess there really is nothing new under the sun.

Hope this help others who may have resonated with my description.