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Freesia

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  • in reply to: Why friends disappear? #415006
    Freesia
    Participant

    Dear EvFran,

    I hope you are feeling a bit better. You’re not alone in this struggle clearly. Thinking about your situation another way, it’s quite possible that you are simply unlucky for now. There are so many people in this world, there’s bound to be some that get unlucky with their circle of friends. I’m sorry that you’ve been treated this way – it sounds like you do all you can to be present for them as mentioned above. I would seek out new friends and thank my lucky stars that I don’t even have to gently disassociate myself because they don’t write anyways. Believe in your worth and believe in new beginnings. You’ve been through a lot and there ARE people out there who will recognize that and support that. The only barrier now is finding where to get good friends. But like Sheli said, your possibilities are endless. Travel can be a blessing and opening up to people you meet can bring new friendships for sure. Follow what feels genuine. I’ve made new friends on a plane, at a store, at bus stops, etc. Many people are looking for new friends. The world is huge and beautiful. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t get so disappointed you stop looking along the way. I would search out my favorite places and I’m bound to find others like me there. Maybe search out events where you happen to be – like an international expo or convention or something and strike up a conversation with somebody. If you feel you made mistakes choosing people in the past, you now know how to avoid that. Life is weird. Keep showing up and be yourself. You sound lovely!

    Freesia
    Participant

    Yes, I can relate. In my own life, I have begun the process of distancing myself from people like this. It’ll just continue hurting your heart otherwise and the relationship between you is not a reflection of health for both parties involved. As an adult, it can be hard to seek out friends again but I think it’s worth it. And pay attention to those who gravitate towards you easily and genuinely. I used to think that those who looked up to me or really liked me were not seeing the real me as I had low self-esteem. I thought something might be “wrong” with their view of the world. I’ve since changed.

    Seek out those with similar values. Maybe volunteer somewhere where you will find the caring tribe you’ve always wanted. Finding one or two special friends is worth it. I know what it’s like to just vent also, and not expect any real solution. I definitely hope solutions come to mind though for you eventually.

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