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  • November 12, 2019 at 5:31 pm in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #322681
    G
    Participant

    Hi @anita!

    Hope you’re well. I have come back with a new update. Well, I’ve managed to get back into academics, complete an independent project for research and now I have landed my first official job. I am terrified and grateful all at once. Anxiety has been rough but I hope I can work through this. Thank you for your kind words. I am forever grateful for all the support I’ve received here.

    -G

    October 28, 2019 at 2:55 pm in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #320293
    G
    Participant

    Hi @anita,

    It’s been a while since I updated this. I would like to let you know that I have been implementing a few new techniques to combat my anxiety and depression. I was unable to find what you had suggested. But, I have been trying new coping techniques and ways to deal with stress. Although I still struggle with horrible nausea, I’m trying to improve. Life has been looking up more and I will update about exciting changes as soon as everything is over. Thank you for your suggestions.

    -G

    September 26, 2019 at 4:14 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #314405
    G
    Participant

    @anita

    1. The medication I took previously was to ease my severe reflux and bowel spasms. Since I’m nauseous every morning and spitting up bile, my reflux is triggered and I am unable to eat.

    2. My life was much better in terms of sleep and eating. However, my anxiety remained.

    3. Coping mechanisms from CBT sessions.

    September 25, 2019 at 7:58 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #314223
    G
    Participant

    @anita, I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 years. Every time I fall into a bout of depression and anxiety, my coping mechanisms never seem to work. It’s strange since I have all the tools, but am unable to implement them effectively. I’m actively fighting off the ability to remain calm. For my condition, I was on medication for several months. However, as my symptoms eased, I came off the medication with the help of my doctor. Now that my symptoms are back, I have yet to get back on the medication.

    September 24, 2019 at 8:10 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #313967
    G
    Participant

    @anita, my health condition expresses itself by me running to the bathroom a few times during the day. I have trouble sleeping, so I tend to sleep very late and rise early due to panic and fear. From there, I get upset and cry. Which triggers me to run to the bathroom with nausea and eventual need to throw up.

    September 22, 2019 at 7:08 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #313533
    G
    Participant

    @anita, while I appreciate your insight, it is much easier said than done. I am broken and exhausted with life. I understand that reality never really does match up with dreams, it is hard to let go of the dreams you truly wanted to come true. While some may say this is a sign of weakness and moving on is crucial, I simply have a hard time letting go of what life once was. I mourn, every single day. I wake up wondering why I’m alive and breathing. It truly is a horrible cycle and I wish I could break free. But, for now, I am unable to see the larger picture.

    September 19, 2019 at 6:23 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #313063
    G
    Participant

    @anita, professors, peers, and mentors.

    September 18, 2019 at 8:16 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #312913
    G
    Participant

    @anita, I am able to support myself. It just feels as though I’m falling through the cracks. I have a hard time doing minor tasks because I feel drained and just can’t find the purpose of doing things anymore.

    September 17, 2019 at 1:24 pm in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #312807
    G
    Participant

    Hello, and thank you for your replies!


    @anita    , I feel lucky as I have had an immense amount of support. My family would always take me to emergency appointments, labs and hospitals. I feel very blessed. However, I feel as though I have let them down. They are my world, and I’ve put them through so much. Even now, when I have a flare or breakdown, their support is unwavering. However, I as a person feel as though I cannot support myself. My body and brain have failed me. I just feel lost.

    @miyoid, thank you so much for your encouragement. I have tried all types of techniques, including happy music, but it just feels wrong to me. Since, I am unhappy, the music just makes me feel even more upset and reminds me of the life I used to have. I was a brilliant person and everyone believed I would accomplish great things. Now, here I sit, trying to pick up the pieces of what is left. I feel like I’m swiping at air and but still getting hurt in the process.

    G

    September 17, 2019 at 7:13 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #312741
    G
    Participant

    @anita, by this I mean I should have been stronger. I let my condition get the best of me and I wasn’t able to effectively tackle the anxiety that came with it. I felt weak and defeated. Now, by this I don’t mean to insinuate that those with anxiety are weak. Of course not. Anxiety is such a hard battle. Looking at my family and others around me who have dealt with worse, I just felt like I didn’t handle my situation well.

    September 15, 2019 at 11:49 am in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #312433
    G
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    Thank you so much for your replies and words of encouragement. I really appreciate that you’ve taken time out of your day to provide me with advice.

    @Prash, I thank you for your positive outlook on how to tackle situations. I’ve tried to tell myself that I should be proud of my progress, but it all seems so futile as I always end up in the same place.


    @Inky    , alopecia is horrible condition. When my doctor told me I’d lose a majority of my hair, I was devastated. While I don’t have the confidence to own this new challenge, I will definitely have to muster up courage. Seeing great chunks hair go down the drain is absolutely heartbreaking.


    @Peggy    , thank you for your words of encouragement. I will have to explore my options.


    @anita    , weakness has never been a crime in my nor to my family. But, being that I’m so young, I feel as though I should have been stronger and risen up the challenge.

    Again, thank you all for your words. I really do appreciate it.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by G.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by G.
    September 12, 2019 at 6:04 pm in reply to: Nothing makes sense anymore. #311977
    G
    Participant

    Greetings Anita and Peter.

    I thank you abundantly for replying to my thread.

    In response to Anita, I was diagnosed with a hyperactive and hypersensitive bowel with frequent spasms, accompanied by symptoms of IBS. While some may think it is a common condition, the condition caused me to have elevated inflammatory markers, excessive loss of hair, and a severe loss in weight (approximately 30-40 pounds in one month). It all happened suddenly.

    Peter, the quote which you have provided brought me to tears. Mourning a life you expected is the hardest thing one can do. I will definitely read the book you have suggested.

    Thank you both for your time and care. I wish you well.

    – G

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by G.
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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)