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GeeanParticipantDear Anita,
Yes, that’s totally right. The feeling of being important to someone, and being cared for are new to me. I finally sort it out. I’ve never been in a relationship nor ever been in love with someone. And maybe that’s the reason why I’m feeling this way right now. But I think he is still special since I have a lot of people who cares for me but I don’t feel the same way like I do for him.
Nonetheless, I really want my feelings for him to fade away so that I won’t be miserable who’s always thinking of him and hoping that he’ll nessage me one day.. I think he should just hurt my feelings so that it may be easier for me to move on.
GeeanParticipantAnita,
I’ve thought of that a couple of times. I tried telling myself that before this feeling, I’m not so affected if I’m that important. It’s just that I get so used to it that he’s given me a lot of attention before, and now, he made me feel like I was not even his friend, which really hurts because I really like him.
That’s why I think that it might help me move on if we have some kind of closure, or he will tell me that he doesn’t care anymore so that I won’t get my hopes up.
GeeanParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for giving me some of your time and for your advise. It’s getting clearer to me now that I’m attached to this person.
But to be honest, I don’t know what to do since I feel really lonely right now that he’s not messaging me anymore. I always think of him whenever I’m alone, then I will start to cry. I just don’t know how to detach myself or my feelings for him. And because if this, it greatly affects my mood. Maybe, I need to hear it directly from him that he won’t talk to me anymore so that I won’t be hoping for him to reach me anymore.
But then again, I’ll try my best not to think of him and get over him. Thank you for your kind words.
GeeanParticipantDear Mark,
Yes that’s true. I was telling Anita earlier that I miss him and the times that we have spent together. Though I do think that it’s my fault for falling for him because he doesn’t have any intentions of making me fall. I just developed these feelings for him because he made me feel special. He also said that I’m IMPORTANT to him so I am holding on to that word. He’s really sweet to me and I got used to it. He’s a really good friend and is someone special to me. I guess that in able for me to be at peace is to ACCEPT the fact that he doesn’t feel the same, and things won’t be the same as before. Yes, I actually share problems and stories to my other friends, though he’s the only that really knows all the problems and stories in my life. Thank you so much for the encouragement, it uplifts me. Hopefully, I will be able to move on from him and sort my feelings thereafter.
GeeanParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you for your words. It’s actually becoming clear to me now that I am just feeling too attached to him. I’ve actually thought about it before but something in my mind rather in my heart says that it’s not just an attachment. I do love him.
I agree that I am missing him, I am missing the time we have spent together. I think I just have to “ACCEPT” that he isn’t part of my everyday life now. Maybe I am still hanging on to him because he said that I’m “IMPORTANT” to him. And because of this, I am still hoping that he’ll reach me or contact me to prove it to me.So I can say that, it might be an attachment. I might just need some help on how to move on and stop hoping that he’ll message me.
GeeanParticipantHi Juan,
Though it’s not right to secretly check your boyfriend’s phone, I do believe that he should’ve been more honest with you about the contents in his phone. You said that you have trust issues, that’s why as a boyfriend, he should’ve told you the truth because if he did that, you’ll be at peace since he told you the exact same thing that you have discovered.
Some people might say that in a relationship, you should respect each other’s privacy. But then again, if you have nothing to hide, it’ll be okay if you can hold your partner’s phone without worrying if you’ll open it or not.
You may still give him a chance, he might be afraid to tell you the truth because he doesn’t want to lose you. If he still lies, i don’t think he’s worth keeping.
GeeanParticipantHi Anita,
Yes, until now, i can’t tell if I’m really “in love” with him or i’m just too attached to him.
If I can describe what type of attachment it is, it’s probaby the “emotional attachment” that i have developed for him.
Whenever I have problems, I always confide to him, I tell him everything and he always listens to me and gave me a lot of encouragement.
That’s why recently, when we got separated, I always want to talk to him like I used to.
If it’s love, I’m still confused if it’s in a romantic way since I know that he’s married and can’t be with him, so definitely, I don’t want to pursue it.
But sometimes, I feel a sting in my heart if I see posts with his wife. I don’t really know if it’s jealousy or not.
So until now, I’m still sorting my feelings if it’s real or it’s just in my mind. It’s really bothersome.GeeanParticipantHi Vj,
Sorry about the confusion, yes i did read the links that you have provided me, thank you, I really appreciate it.
I even searched about cutting chords in the web since it really enlighten me that i may finally able to solve my misery by doing it.
Though I’ve thought about cutting the ‘connection'(contact) with him a million times. However, the thought of not being able to talk to him again makes me so sad.
Yes, I totally agree with you when you said that “With him or without him in your life you will still be peaceful about the situation”.
Or even so, if ever he slips through my mind, i won’t be so affected by him, just like when i think of my other friends.
Thank you for your advise, it’s very helpful.GeeanParticipantHi Martin,
I’m sorry to hear about your breakup. It’s true that action speaks louder than words. You made her feel that she’s loved but some people (like her) wants to hear words like “I love you” from the person that they love. It means a lot to them. You may not say it to her everyday but you could’ve said it during special occasions (anniversary, birthday, etc). There’s nothing wrong in expressing your love for her in words since you really do love her.
GeeanParticipantHi Anita,
I appreciate that you don’t think of me as a bad person for loving a married person, thank you it means a lot to me.
I’ve been thinking of how to stop feeling this way because I’m full of thoughts that I’ve greatly sinned for being like this.
I’m still troubled if what i feel for him is just attachment or love. I’ve been telling myself that I’m deeply inlove with him because I would like to be with him.
By the way, I’m in my 20’s and i’ve never been inlove with someone.I did have crushes but this isn’t like what i’m feeling now.He’s the only man that i’ve cried for.
For the last few months, i’ve been crying over him, even just thinking of him makes me want to cry.GeeanParticipantHi Inky,
I agree, I’m really fond of him but I love him at the same time.
If it’s just fondness that I feel for him, maybe I won’t be this depressed nor worried that he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.
Honestly, I’ really greatful that I have found this website to share my story since no one knows how i feel for this man. Not even friends nor family.
I’m too afraid to open up to them because i don’t want them to judge me. Especially being inlove with a married guy.GeeanParticipantHi VJ.
Thank you for your suggestion. I’ll definitely try that. I really want to move on.
Though I don’t want to cut the connection betweeen us, I want to be able to forget my feelings for him because I’ve been suffering from emotional pain of not being able to talk to him.
I guess I really love him but is still confused if it’s in a romantic way or a love for a dear friend.
I’m obesessing over him because i find myself stalking him in his social media account just to see if he’s doing fine.
I tried to avoid my social media account in order for me not to check on him frequently but i am having a hard time to control myself in doing so.GeeanParticipantHi Mark,
Thank you for your words, it helped me. But I have to admit, some of his actions made me feel that I’m important to him.
He’s really caring, most of the time, he gives me encouragement when I’m feeling troubled or have problems. That’s why i was easily drawn into him.
I really want him to be happy, but the thought of him of not messaging me hurts me a lot because he made me feel this way.
I’m trying to get him out of my mind but I just can’t. My mind wants to, but my heart doesn’t. -
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