Hi Juan,

Though it’s not right to secretly check your boyfriend’s phone, I do believe that he should’ve been more honest with you about the contents in his phone. You said that you have trust issues, that’s why as a boyfriend, he should’ve told you the truth because if he did that, you’ll be at peace since he told you the exact same thing that you have discovered.

Some people might say that in a relationship, you should respect each other’s privacy. But then again, if you have nothing to hide, it’ll be okay if you can hold your partner’s phone without worrying if you’ll open it or not.

You may still give him a chance, he might be afraid to tell you the truth because he doesn’t want to lose you. If he still lies, i don’t think he’s worth keeping.

Hi Juan,

Hopefully this is just aspects of his life before you still cycling out. However, you always had a gut feeling something was off. Now that you have proof, that just cements the feeling.

You could be honest and simply say, “This isn’t working”. You don’t even have to explain why.

OR you could also comment on how you are totally turned off by creepy people, “you know, the kind that keeps weird photos  or does sketchy texting”. Or if a show on TV portrays a character like that, you could visibly and audibly shudder. This will hopefully “convict” him so he always feels creepy and shameful when/if he engages in such behavior again.

The TV thing works, by the way, about once a year when they portray the character of a desperate woman putting the moves on a married man, I always comment, “They don’t have to be pretty.” Husband twitches.

Good Luck,

Inky