@Matt Turner, I agree with you about relationships being 50/50. I feel that we can only put in so much in ourselves with the other person matching it. Anything more than that seems like it leads to arguments and eventual break-ups because one feels resentment towards the other about not putting enough into the relationship.

AFter much contemplation about the whole thing since I posted this last week, although I do have feelings for her and care about her, I think it will be better just letting her be with her ‘friend’ that spends the night with her every now and then, than to try to make it work between us. She’s emotionally unavailable and has some work to do with herself and how she sees relationships. So do I, but I think we’re on different views and different stages of our lives to make it work long term. It would be nice to experience a relationship again, but it’s for the best not to pursue one with her.

I have things I do need to work out, rejection has hit me hard in the past because I’ve always felt it was me, even though it wasn’t. I tend to pick the same type of woman who is emotionally unavailable or some other reason not to try it with me. I have social problems, I can list dozens of problems about myself but this is not the post to do that. My point is, I have to learn how to accept myself first. Even though after reading self-help books and researching online for a couple of years, the answers still aren’t there for me. I can listen and read all of the advice in the world but if I don’t implement it into my own life, I’m going to be the same 20 years from now; alone, single, and miserable.

@meagan black: thank you for the positive thoughts. It is appreciated.

You make a valid point. I try not to take rejection personally, but many times over it has taken it’s toll on me. I feel I need to just let her go, not say anything to her and just let her be. The what-if is still in the back of my mind though, and I guess that’s what keeps me holding onto the friendship.

I haven’t said anything to her about how I feel. I agree about the other guy thing, though. Her upbringing was basically that sex is nothing special, so she’s sort of taken that into adulthood. I, on the other hand, had a different upbringing and have come to believe intimacy is just that, it is something that you don’t share with anyone, it is meant to a special thing. I’m also traditional in my ways of relationships. I don’t jump in the sack the first time I meet a woman. I want to know who they are, if we click, that sort of thing.

She makes it a point to give me a hug when we see each other and when we part ways. She calls a lot, we have long discussions that last hours on end about different topics. She seems like she’s interested in me.

I guess I just don’t quite understand her cues? or maybe she’s sending them and i’m not picking them up?