I sure can identify with you Kindle, I share some of the same worries, it’s not always fun being single.  But at this point in my life I’m trying to learn to be okay with it.  I feel that things happen for reasons we don’t understand, and maybe by taking this time and using it in a positive way, by trying to get to know myself a little better.  I went through a very miserable and heartbreaking divorce as well and like you, I’m very cautious and untrusting now.  Mainly untrusting of my own judgement, but I”m finding as time passes that I am okay being single.  I’ve learned a lot about myself and what makes me tick and am realizing that what I was looking for in my marriage was someone who could make me happy and who I could make happy as well.  But that isn’t how it works, the only person who can make you happy is yourself, happiness doesn’t come from the outside, it comes from inside.  The same with love, it is something that also comes from the inside.  So, I am trying to learn to first love myself and believe that I am worthwhile person, deserving of all the joy there is as much as anyone else.  Maybe someday I will feel confident enough in my own body that I won’t attract people that only prey on my weaknesses, but who will honor me as I do myself.  And of course, if that happens, it will feel right to honor them as well.

It sounds to me like he isn’t real interested or else he wants to keep you hanging.  You can’t fix him, and if he cared enough about you, he would have let you know what was going on.  It doesn’t take much energy to send a short text.  If he is already holding out on you with his emotions, I would take that as a red flag.  I mean, after all, what can he do for his friend that takes so much of his time that he can’t even answer you.  Especially since you said he had posted on other social media.  Don’t call him, don’t chase him and don’t let him hurt you anymore.  You feel in your gut something is wrong, trust your gut.  I repeat, you can’t help him,, only he can do that and he isn’t asking for your help.  And more than likely you won’t get any closure either.  He wants you when he wants you and to do that he has to keep you hanging around.  Ask yourself this:  Who is doing most of the work in your relationship with this guy?  You are calling him, you are driving there, is this what sounds like a good relationship to you?  I’ve been there, and perhaps I am being overly untrusting, but to me that is a huge red flag and you need to cut your losses.  If nothing else, don’t call him, let him do the leg work, see how hard he will try.  Test it out.  Don’t take my word on it but please do listen to your gut, it doesn’t lie.  Sending you the best wishes I  can and blessings that all will turn out for you.

Hi Johannah7, It’s been recently that I went through something similar to you. And it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to go through, I wasn’t sure I could even survive or if I wanted to. But I am here so you can see I made it. It sounds to me you need to ask yourself if this is the kind of life you are willing to live. If he truly loved you, he would have done everything he could to keep you, and to make you happy. I can’t say it won’t change, but I can say the odds are he won’t change. I believe he is doing the very same thing to the other girl too, and he is playing a game to keep you both tied onto his leash. It’s how he lives and breathes and it isn’t love with him. He says the same things to her that he says to you, and there isn’t what I call love in anything you have to say about him. You can’t change him, and you can’t change yourself to fix what his problem is and this is what is most likely making you sick as well. You are the only one that can decide what you are willing to do and how you will allow yourself to be treated. This man is toxic for you. And it is not love. Love means they want you to be happy, no matter what. And he doesn’t do that, nor does it sound like he is emotionally available to you. There are people like that and because you are the person you are, most likely a good heart, very empathic, that is what they are drawn to. Do a search online for Narcissitic personality disorder. You might see him described there. If he fits the picture, you need to let go of him. I wish you the best, it’s a tough one, but you can do it.