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I agree totally with everything Lisa said. Please, please leave this man. He is lying to you, behaving very badly and making out it is your fault. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. You are a wonderful, kind, intelligent and strong person. You do not need this man in your life. Trust me, the situation will only get worse. I know. I have been someone similar to this for 8 years. There are organizations that can advise you on debts – please talk to someone in confidence and make plans to leave, soon. Don’t waste any more of your precious life on this man – he is not worthy of you.
Dearest Laia …My heart goes out to you, you must be feeling battered and bruised. But I think you *can* be proud of how you handled it. It may not have been elegant, but you put yourself and your peace of mind first and that is a good thing. You tried honest communication, it didn’t work. Now it’s time to look after yourself and be kind to yourself. I thought John’s reply was full of wisdom … find the stability and security inside yourself and go from there. When you find yourself secretly wishing for the love and approval he couldn’t give you, focus on the feelings of relief you described … I think they are telling you that this relationship wasn’t healthy and that you did the right thing. The right thing is often painful, so above all … be kind to yourself. Thinking of you x Vanessa
Hi Midge. I enjoyed your article very much and it gave me much food for thought. I think I already have some “happy habits” but didn’t realise it. I enjoy spending time just sitting in my garden watching the trees and the grass – spending time in nature always makes me happy. I cuddle my cat. I light incense and candles. I take long warm baths. I listen to music. Thank you for the reminder to do these things more often and appreciate them more! x Vanessa
Hi Laia … I read your post and my heart went out to you. It must be very hard indeed to love someone who is so “unavailable” – both physically and (reading between the lines) emotionally too. I haven’t been in your situation as such so really I’m just writing to say you’re not alone and I care about you. I can totally understand why you feel you are going crazy. If I were to give you any advice at all it would be to “wait and see”. Take one day at a time and don’t rush into anything. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself. Try to find a quiet place inside yourself and the right path will become clear. Love, Vanessa x
Fancy that – two of my favourite people in one thread 🙂 Hi Joseph and Lisa! My “religion” (the way I try and live my life) is also about kindness and compassion and seeking truth. I am currently spending a lot of time looking at ego and the effects it has on me and on others. I am trying to be kind to myself when I speak or act from a place of selfishness and un-awareness – this being human business is quite tricky sometimes it seems. I am finding that the more I look the more I see the “guru” in absolutely every aspect of my life and in every person (easy or difficult) that I interact with. I am grateful for this life – for its challenges, its beauty, its ups and downs. And I’m so grateful for those who write and share online to encourage others like myself to continue on our spiritual journeys.