Forum Replies Created
March 15, 2022 at 4:17 am #395202
I still think there is a balance I can strive for. It’s possible to to be genuine and not be rude at the same time. There’s still certain people I’m not going to connect with and I’ve accepted that.March 13, 2022 at 4:30 am #394961
Thank you all for the feedback. I admit that I’m not in a great place mentally right now. Not gonna give up though.March 11, 2022 at 8:49 am #394888
Thank you Peter and Hellcat.
Hellcat, most people are not direct when they don’t like someone and just ignore them or fade off and stop responding to them. In the past, I used to come off as needy by trying too hard to keep contacting people. Now I just let things go if someone doesn’t respond on an equal basis. If I’m usually the one initiating conversations, that’s a sign that things are one-sided. After that, I might give it some time. If it’s apparent the person isn’t interested then I’m done.
Peter, I understand your point about measuring things. Knowing factually correct information is something I value. However, relationships are rarely black and white.March 11, 2022 at 6:14 am #394879
I didn’t intend to dismiss you Hellcat. Sometimes I may not feel like answering every question put to me. A long time ago, I decided to live by my own rules. At times I did take that too far. For years, I sensed people were putting up with me to humor me. One of my convictions is not to do that to someone else. If I don’t think you’re funny, I wont laugh. If I didn’t enjoy the conversation, I might wish them a good day, but I wont say that it was great talking to them. Before I didn’t make as many compromises as I do now. The challenge is finding the balance and not feeling like a fraud.February 28, 2022 at 10:54 am #393857
I don’t mind new perspectives. I study and look up articles to challenge my own beliefs and assumptions. There are some personalities that do not mesh well. Sometimes our core-values and expectations are so different that it is best to spend time on other things.February 27, 2022 at 11:47 am #393834
That was the impression I had. I can see that this forum is used to longer posts and people like to give a lot of details about their lives. Writing long essays for my college courses is difficult enough for me. I don’t feel I’m obligated to respond a certain way and answer every question that has been asked. I mentioned to Hellcat, “Sorry if I didn’t answer all of your questions right now.”February 27, 2022 at 11:03 am #393824
Anita, I do not doubt you have good intentions. In the other thread that you were referring to, it seemed you were trying to take control over what content I provide and how I should respond. I admit I can be blunt, some may think that is rude. Trying to fit into the social structures of a society has been a challenge for me. My intention is to simply seek input and possible solutions.February 27, 2022 at 6:31 am #393788
I originally answered the question because I thought it would be interesting to get other perspectives on the concept. Many talk about being positive as if it’s something glaringly obvious. Doesn’t seem that way to me. Many of these so-called positive interactions create a barrier between people when they revert back to these robotic and dishonest behaviors.February 23, 2022 at 7:13 pm #393624
I try to be efficient in my social interactions. It’s very common for people to say things that aren’t true because they want to be polite and think it will make someone feel better. If I already know that my personality will not mesh with someone, I’d rather give more attention to someone else. I’ve been working on having more tact and do not completely ignore people when they talk to me. This situation isn’t difficult to avoid since very few strangers approach me to start a conversation. Sorry if I didn’t answer all of your questions right now.February 23, 2022 at 9:59 am #393534
Saying it in that way is rude. We agree on that. I’m glad we found common ground.February 23, 2022 at 4:30 am #393514
I really would rather someone not talk to me at all than say a few meaningless phrases out of obligation. I am not disrespectful to someone unless I say something disrespectful. Having a fake plastered smile, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny, and saying “It was great talking to you”, when you didn’t enjoy the conversation is what I’m referring to.February 22, 2022 at 4:28 am #393355
I would like to be more trusting of people. Until then, I don’t want to waste their time until I’m truly interested. I’m not saying everyone who tries to be polite is fake. From my experience, many automatically act like this out of obligation, even when they truly do not care about another person.February 21, 2022 at 10:58 am #393251
There are many things I like about myself and many things I want to improve. I do feel kind of disconnected from the society I live in because many people who are praised for their positivity are not the kind of people that I prefer to be around. They do not seem genuine. There are people who think you should smile all the time and be polite to everyone by saying certain phrases. I don’t think that is positive. You may have wasted someone’s time who thought you genuinely liked talking to them.February 20, 2022 at 7:02 pm #393226
Do you mean you have the ability to predict the future?February 20, 2022 at 6:01 am #393200
I see one friend once a week and another once a month. They have responsibilities and do not have the time. I have been to meetup groups in the past, but most people start with the stock questions.