Menu

Brian

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #395202
    Brian
    Participant

    I still think there is a balance I can strive for. It’s possible to to be genuine and not be rude at the same time. There’s still certain people I’m not going to connect with and I’ve accepted that.

    #394961
    Brian
    Participant

    Thank you all for the feedback. I admit that I’m not in a great place mentally right now. Not gonna give up though.

    #394888
    Brian
    Participant

    Thank you Peter and Hellcat.

    Hellcat, most people are not direct when they don’t like someone and just ignore them or fade off and stop responding to them. In the past, I used to come off as needy by trying too hard to keep contacting people. Now I just let things go if someone doesn’t respond on an equal basis. If I’m usually the one initiating conversations, that’s a sign that things are one-sided. After that, I might give it some time. If it’s apparent the person isn’t interested then I’m done.

    Peter, I understand your point about measuring things. Knowing factually correct information is something I value. However, relationships are rarely black and white.

    #394879
    Brian
    Participant

    I didn’t intend to dismiss you Hellcat. Sometimes I may not feel like answering every question put to me. A long time ago, I decided to live by my own rules. At times I did take that too far. For years, I sensed people were putting up with me to humor me. One of my convictions is not to do that to someone else. If I don’t think you’re funny, I wont laugh. If I didn’t enjoy the conversation, I might wish them a good day, but I wont say that it was great talking to them. Before I didn’t make as many compromises as I do now. The challenge is finding the balance and not feeling like a fraud.

    #393857
    Brian
    Participant

    I don’t mind new perspectives. I study and look up articles to challenge my own beliefs and assumptions. There are some personalities that do not mesh well. Sometimes our core-values and expectations are so different that it is best to spend time on other things.

    #393834
    Brian
    Participant

    That was the impression I had. I can see that this forum is used to longer posts and people like to give a lot of details about their lives. Writing long essays for my college courses is difficult enough for me. I don’t feel I’m obligated to respond a certain way and answer every question that has been asked. I mentioned to Hellcat, “Sorry if I didn’t answer all of your questions right now.”

    #393824
    Brian
    Participant

    Anita, I do not doubt you have good intentions. In the other thread that you were referring to, it seemed you were trying to take control over what content I provide and how I should respond. I admit I can be blunt, some may think that is rude. Trying to fit into the social structures of a society has been a challenge for me. My intention is to simply seek input and possible solutions.

    #393788
    Brian
    Participant

    I originally answered the question because I thought it would be interesting to get other perspectives on the concept. Many talk about being positive as if it’s something glaringly obvious. Doesn’t seem that way to me. Many of these so-called positive interactions create a barrier between people when they revert back to these robotic and dishonest behaviors.

    #393624
    Brian
    Participant

    I try to be efficient in my social interactions. It’s very common for people to say things that aren’t true because they want to be polite and think it will make someone feel better. If I already know that my personality will not mesh with someone, I’d rather give more attention to someone else. I’ve been working on having more tact and do not completely ignore people when they talk to me. This situation isn’t difficult to avoid since very few strangers approach me to start a conversation. Sorry if I didn’t answer all of your questions right now.

    #393534
    Brian
    Participant

    Saying it in that way is rude. We agree on that. I’m glad we found common ground.

    #393514
    Brian
    Participant

    I really would rather someone not talk to me at all than say a few meaningless phrases out of obligation. I am not disrespectful to someone unless I say something disrespectful. Having a fake plastered smile, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny, and saying “It was great talking to you”, when you didn’t enjoy the conversation is what I’m referring to.

    #393355
    Brian
    Participant

    I would like to be more trusting of people. Until then, I don’t want to waste their time until I’m truly interested. I’m not saying everyone who tries to be polite is fake. From my experience, many automatically act like this out of obligation, even when they truly do not care about another person.

    #393251
    Brian
    Participant

    There are many things I like about myself and many things I want to improve. I do feel kind of disconnected from the society I live in because many people who are praised for their positivity are not the kind of people that I prefer to be around. They do not seem genuine. There are people who think you should smile all the time and be polite to everyone by saying certain phrases. I don’t think that is positive. You may have wasted someone’s time who thought you genuinely liked talking to them.

    #393226
    Brian
    Participant

    Do you mean you have the ability to predict the future?

    #393200
    Brian
    Participant

    I see one friend once a week and another once a month. They have responsibilities and do not have the time. I have been to meetup groups in the past, but most people start with the stock questions.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)