Forum Replies Created
February 13, 2022 at 3:19 pm #392699
Thank you so much. You are breath of fresh air and your wisdom has helped me understand my feelings and thoughts better. I am planning on giving us another chance because I love him so much but I am going to warn him that as of right now I’m going through some growth and I want to make sure that he’s prepared to come on the ride with me. He himself understands that I’m going through a hard time, but what is a relationship without some bumps in the road right? I still have so much growing to do but I’ve came to understand that I can grow with him. Again thank you so much Anita, lets hope that if I ever come back here it’s not because of the same thing. Be safe Anita, you’re an amazing person.February 13, 2022 at 11:08 am #392696
For couple counseling I’d imagine that it would help and I’m willing to do anything to be with him right now. I just hope that he’d give me another chance. I’ve imagined our lives together already. I don’t want to let that go.February 13, 2022 at 10:42 am #392693
Thank you for replying, and my current living situation is much better now. I’m now living with my mother and step father and my biological father is basically out of my life. As of school I’ve already graduated from high school so right now I’m just taking a break. I’m happy where I am living but lately I’ve been going through those feelings I stated in my first post. Right now in this waking moment all I can think about is my ex boyfriend. I feel as though I just need to touch him in order to remember why I loved him in the first place but I’m afraid that even if I do get the chance to hold him again I’d just confuse myself again and I wouldn’t know what I want. I know that I want to heal and better myself as a person but I also want him. I’ve let go the one thing that I’ve always wanted and I’m starting to get scared that I’ll probably never get him back. Even though he said he’d wait for me and he’d hope I find my way back to him, I’m scared that I wont find my way back in time and that I’ll lose the one good thing that has happened to me in my miserable life. I feel numb to everything but pain and regret is still there and it hurts so much. I feel like all I want to do is cry but I cant cry, I’m just stuck in this miserable hole and the only thing that was helping me not fall further in the hole was my ex boyfriend. He was there, he tried so hard to remind me that he loved me. He reassured me, loved me, sent me flowers, sent me food, everything a person would ever want in a great man, but I now feel like I stupidly let him go. I feel like I still need him in my life now but I broke up with him because I thought it was going to end both of our pain but now for me its so much worse. I don’t know about him and I don’t know if he’d keep his words but I’d do anything to have him again. I’m just scared that he wouldn’t love me the same anymore but if I truly think about it, I wouldn’t love me the sane either.
February 13, 2022 at 8:37 am #392684
- This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Ken.
Hi Anita, I don’t know if you’re still active but it is worth a shot. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months because I went through the same thing as Jazz and Micky. At first I was falling so hard in love, almost obsessive like. It wasn’t until the second month where my feelings for him have subsided. We carried on our relationship until today where I painfully ended our relationship. I did this because ever since the last week of January I just lost the feeling that I use to have for him. He is an amazing man. He treated me so well and he loved me, he chose to stay with me even in my darkest times. It was me who faltered but I know I still love and care for him but I don’t feel it anymore. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or not but already, I miss him. I miss him so much but I feel as though I cant go back to him because all I’d do to him is hurt him all over again. Before we said our goodbyes he said “I will always love you” and “I’ll wait for you, I want you and I’ll wait for you” and that hurt me more because it just reminded me of how much he loved me just for me to do this to him. He is my ideal man, ever since from a young age I’ve always wanted a man like him, to be loved by a man like him. I tried to tell myself this past two week that what I’m feeling is just a phase that it will pass but it didn’t. Like how Jazz and Micky said I felt like I was living a lie. Every time I called him, every time he texted me, every time we facetimed, all I could feel was pain about how I felt like I was living a lie and how I was lying to myself and to him in order to stay with him. I also knew that what I was doing was hurting him and that hurt me even more. I started to hate myself and I wanted nothing more than to let him go in order for him to find someone better who loved him and treated him like he deserved to be treated. I felt as though I didn’t deserve him because all I felt like I was doing was just hurting him. I miss him so much already and it hasn’t even been a day. He kept asking what he did wrong and there is NOTHING that he did wrong. He did everything right. It was just me, I fell back, I’m confused, I just don’t want to hurt him anymore but at the same time I don’t want to hate myself anymore. I’m scared that if I go back to him I’d just repeat this thing and it would become a whole cycle. I love him so much, but I’m scared that I’ll just hurt him. I miss him.
As for my parents, my father constantly physically and sexually abused, psychologically manipulated, and cheated on my mother. From a very young age I’ve witness this thinking as far back as maybe 3 years old. They got a divorce and I was forced to stay with my father since he would not let my mother take me. Living with my father was horrible. He was a very bad man to women and was a horrible role model. There was even a time where he abused me. Then came the day where he just up and left me alone with my older brother to take care of me. I don’t know if this is a factor of why I did what I did or why I felt like how I felt.
Again…. all I know is that I miss him and I do still love and care for my now ex boyfriend. I’m just scared that if I get back together with him I’d just feel like this all over again.February 13, 2022 at 8:37 am #392685
In a professional stand point from you Anita, do you think I still actually love him? I forgot to mention he is my first boyfriend. Do you think that I’m just attached? I hope my first post gets through moderation.