Hey Anita,

Its been a while now, around a month, but i still dont know how to get over this hurt feeling, specifically because I think he didnt really do justice to me by giving me  vague replies on the confusion.

One thing I am really sure of is that I know he doesnt deserve coming back to my life, even as a friend, I wont be able to trust him ever again.

He is still waiting for me to recover and end the distance clause. Although I can sense a bit of anger in him, when he tried to make fun of my idea in a club meeting but I made sure of giving him a legit comeback , so he backed off then.

But tbh, I never thought he could be this egocentric and mean person, (which I got to know of him in the last few months)

Nonetheless , the thing that I wanted to ask is

We are supposed to work on this one project together until next week, so will be in constant touch(although we both have tried to keep it limited and he is keeping it too formal, i dont mind that as long as he isnt being mean)

But I also know he is waiting for me to get back to him and I dont think I should.

And for some reason even though we were never in an actual relationship, I have trusted him through out, so much that I cant seem tolet this thing off my head.

I cry at times in the night, thinking about, how i thought, he understood me, but maybe he never did.

I think I should let him know(on call), that he shouldnt wait, and more than that I want to let him know that he just hurt me so bad that I cant even think of being friends with him(but I dont want to explain him whyI think so, because I think I am done with that and I dont know what his reaction will be like, I seriously wouldnt want to get into an argument with him then)

Would that be a stupid idea,? And if not, would it be better if I call him right away since I feel this suffering or should I wait for this project to end peacefully first?

Also, if this is a silly idea you feel,

Then could you please tell me if there is any other way i get over this and let go already?

thanks, TeaK your reply i guess is an eye-opener for me , given this entire incident has also got to make some revelation about me, on why did allow myself to feel obligated to someone, are such people even worth it in the long run in your life, if you cant be yourself around them.

It wasn’t exactly that we used to just talk about him, its just , I stopped feeling like telling him my problems , because I have this fear of people be judging it, until I am very comfortable around them(which is a problem with me), and if I wasn’t telling him that , during the time I was facing it and stressing about it, I didn’t even feel like talking about myself even a bit, and he didn’t really see that.

So, by overly protective, I meant, that he was there for me always, we are in the same club in our college,and that’s how we had met.Now, I am someone who is very involved in the works of the club , and am pretty opinionated, whereas he is , more of an introvert who , didn’t really aim for the leadership position in the club. I have faced instances where some of my batchmates have tried to take credits for my work unduly and it used to make me sad at times, and he has been there in those times (even more ,recently) to fight for me. But somewhere eventually in the last two months I could feel , as if though he had made this more dependent on his mood , of how much support he would want to be, whereas , I had always been their for him , to never allow anyone to do something wrong to him in the club .

He used to mention a few things about his relationship with his girlfriend at times, but mostly he never really used to mention her, which used to make me feel this couldn’t actually be a rebound then. He in fact used to tell me two months after their breakup that he was pretty much ready to move on, I guess that was a lie then. Anyways I am not sure of anything any more.

We are also supposed to take a knowledge session for our juniors together this weekend and as of now he has been acting all formal with me , since I told him I wanted distance for a while to reconsider our friendship.I hope this session goes well.

This has now some what taken a toll on my self esteem too.,on how could I not know, how could I fall for someone thinking I could trust him with myself . It feels as though that he would have only considered me in such a case only, and not ingeneral .

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Ishita.

Thankyou TeaK for reading the entire passage and giving your valuable views on the same, it means a lot.

yes I am actually very hurt, because not only did I fall for him and got rejected but also I lost a really close friend because I no longer see him the way I used to . For me , he was someone who was a humble , good and caring person , whereas , now he is more of a self-centered and selfish person for me , who actually never really understood me.

But I dont know if we should call it to rebound, because it had already been 4months to his break up , when he started getting even closer to me, and we have been friends for like two years now, although I agree , he is more of an introvert and a bit emotionally inexpressive, never really attempted to know me this well up until now and I am his only close female friend(not that he doesnt have other female friends but he is really close to just a few ppl in college). So , could you please tell me how Rebounds are supposed to be like, because I have been confused this entire time of whether this was his rebound, and it breaks me a bit inside, thinking , that he would have probably gotten involved with any girl then, he could have got his hands on.

One time , he used to be super caring ,and overly protective of me , and then the other times it used to just depend on his mood if he would like to care (and i noticed how he used to act the former only when I showed as if I wasn’t very into him, which is kind of narcissistic behavior)

He is and has been always a workaholic and thus he eventually ,when the semester started got involved in his own work, forgetting completely how emotionally unfulfilled I had begun to feel . Our conversations had mostly become about him, because I had again begun to feel this insecurity, that what if he feels I am a mess. Not that I feel this way about myself, I am someone pretty confident about myself, but I was so into not wanting to lose him, that I eventually began to feel obligated somewhere or the other, because I knew we were very different people , and I really thought that maybe I had begun to become too much for him now, which was so wrong to feel for oneself.

Right now, I am not even sure if I want to be his friend again or not, given how bad he messed me up.