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Alicya

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  • #206585
    Alicya
    Participant

    Don’t do her dirty work for her.

    #206583
    Alicya
    Participant

    I think you are jumping to conclusions. Perhaps he is depressed and gone into withdrawal until he sorts things out. His family may have dragged him to this event to try to cheer him up. Why not send him a nice email asking questions and telling him how you honestly feel without putting angry blame on him. What more have you got to lose? Maybe your pride is standing in the way of your happiness.

    #206581
    Alicya
    Participant

    Long distance relationships are hard even when you’ve met in person many times and know you are in love. I have had some great heart to heart talks with a man over the Internet for about a year or so that I like a lot and think I might love. Yet I feel afraid to meet because it may ruin the dream Ive built up about him. What if he isn’t like I imagine in real life? What if one or both of us are disappointed? Then I will no longer have the great friendship I have, and the dream will be ruined. Maybe she is thinking something like that. She must like you a lot if she keeps talking to you, but in the meantime she is still living her own life without you. Since you don’t want to make the decision now, then try to relax and just be her friend for now until after the exam and then when you have time to meet, you can spend time together. Then you will both know if you are meant to be or not, and if not you can move on. I think you are putting too much pressure on her to say she loves you too when maybe she is not sure.

    #206579
    Alicya
    Participant

    People in our culture often have more freedom to go out and meet a person and ‘fall in love’ but often it is just hormones at work, and when that phase is over after a while as it usually will be, they find that they don’t even like the other person, or that they are so different in ways of thinking and what they want in life, that they end up separating and even divorcing later if they have married. Arranged marriages can be awful or they can be wonderful depending on a lot of things. If both sets of parents are looking for someone for their child who will be emotionally suitable for them they can often be a better judge of who might be good for them then they would choose for themselves. But if they are picking a mate for selfish reasons, to enhance their own lives, then it’s just good or bad luck if you end up happy. An alternative way might be to talk on the Internet with someone for a long time to get to know each other very well, perhaps with the help of an introduction from a friend or matchmaker, before you meet in person. Then you could meet with a chaperone until you decide to take things further. There must be someone out there who is the female equivalent of you, who missed their chance in younger days to be wed or have a relationship, for whatever reason. Perhaps they dedicated themselves to caring for a sick relative, or a career for example, or they were really shy. Must be someone out there like that.

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