Home→Forums→Relationships→One sided love in long distance
- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 11 months ago by
Ramnarayan.
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May 9, 2018 at 8:43 am #206475
RamnarayanParticipant- This is first time I am sharing my problem with someone , first of all please forgive me for my weak english
I met a girl on dating app before 6 months ago , we both from india but from different state , different caste, different religion .. we share our number and till then we talk almost daily except 3-4 days .
I start fall for her but she dont , she send some books and sweets on new year , I talked her mom and sister many times . She told me that she was in love past, she still love him after 2 years of breakup now he is married, she told me that she was in more then 4 relationship in last 2 years .
We fight and argue many times but within time we start doing well again . We yet not meet in personal but planning to meet in June After my exam.she behave sometimes as she really love me but suddenly she withdraws her fellings , we talked about our future many times but somedays again she said we can’t be together never ..
In February on her mom dad 25 anniversary they invite me but due to my study I can’t go there. In meanwhile she told me that she had sex with her friend in February , they do sex when they both are craving. I was broken , I was devasted , then she told me that I don’t love you , I was in dellima what to do but still I try to forget all and decided to be with her .
We start talking well again , things were going good , we plan our future meeting in June .. but then I Start to felling we were falling apart I fell this because my exam stress , I want more and more from her but she was again in her withdraws process
On 29 April when she was with her friends then I Start felling again insecure , I called her 49 times she didn’t recive after she call me back and tell me she was with her friend because she was going for sucide dur ti her breakup .. we argue again she switchoff her mobile , we talk next say then I asked her again Do you love me ? But she told she dont love me she like me very much she care about me but don’t love me .
Again I cry , we fought she block me on whatsapp , but after sometimes unblock me again , I apologize for my mistake to hurt her.. but now she is not talking with me to much , whenever I call she says she is busy. She will call me after some time but she dont , now we hardly talk 5 minute in a day , before we talking about more then 2 hour , she seemed withdraws her fellings .. my exam on 3 June , I am unable to concentrate on my study , I am thinking all time about her , I miss her a lot , I love her soo much , but I can’t stop call her because I am unable to take big descion before my exam , it’s look like she is not interested me in anymore. What should I do in this situation , how to communicate with her effective ? Or should I move on its very hard for me .
Waiting for your kind suggestions my friends
May 9, 2018 at 9:15 am #206511
AnonymousGuestDear Ramnarayan:
Can you make a decision (and you can let her know about your decision), that you will not contact her until after your exam June 3 and that you would like it if there is no contact before June 3?
Then knowing that there will be no contact, maybe you can concentrate on the exam best you can.
You can resume the distress over this unsatisfactory relationship after the exam. Take time out for the next month, is my suggestion. And do post again anytime you would like.
anita
May 9, 2018 at 7:16 pm #206561RamnarayanParticipantThanks anita
But problem is I can’t take such a big descion before my big exam , I scared from loneliness
I know she dont love me , does there is a chance that she love me one day ?
May 10, 2018 at 3:20 am #206591
Ik09ParticipantRam, This isn’t an ordinary exam, You are appearing for UPSC pre and you need to be well prepared.
If you cannot take a decision which will help your career, it is unlikely that she will see you as strong enough to take firm decisions regarding her and your future.
Everyone likes to be around someone who is happy and confident in themselves, people try to draw their strength from such people. Don’t try to fix your problems through her, I have done that in my life and have faced the consequences.
Anita is absolutely right, you need to stay away from her till your exams at the very least. It is going to be painful and difficult but it is going to bring you positive results. You need to revise so many current affairs, polity, history, current affairs of environmental science, geography, everything.
Being around her makes you obsessive. Partners need to bring out the best in us, if they don’t they are not right for us. In the time you stay away from her, you need to focus on your studies. Love cannot fill a hungry tummy, you need a stable career first!
Also, try figuring out whether you want her because you love her or want her because you like talking to her. But think about it after your pre.
All the best for your prelims Ram, hope to hear from you.
May 10, 2018 at 5:15 am #206599AnonymousGuestDear Ramnarayan:
You asked me if there “is a chance that she love me one day?”
Statistically, I suppose there is a chance. Seems to me like a very small chance.
Lets talk about chances, statistical chances: what are the chances that you pass the exam without focusing on it? What are the chances of you getting a good job if you fail the exam?
You have no control over her feelings for you, so there is nothing you can do about it. On the other hand, you have some control over your behavior. As difficult as it feels like, it is possible for you to stop all contact with her until the June 3, less than a month from now.
You can choose to not take the exam and think about her all the time, non stop (except when you sleep maybe, or here and there when you happen to forget for a moment).
What do you choose to do?
anita
May 10, 2018 at 6:04 am #206603RamnarayanParticipantthanks ipkR09 for your kind advice , yes its same upsc preliminary exam , I am trying hard friend for my preparation ?
If you don’t mind can you share your Mobile no. With me ? Where from you ? Are you prepare also upsc ?
Anita thanks yes you are right I need to focus on my study now ..
May 10, 2018 at 7:14 am #206581
AlicyaParticipantLong distance relationships are hard even when you’ve met in person many times and know you are in love. I have had some great heart to heart talks with a man over the Internet for about a year or so that I like a lot and think I might love. Yet I feel afraid to meet because it may ruin the dream Ive built up about him. What if he isn’t like I imagine in real life? What if one or both of us are disappointed? Then I will no longer have the great friendship I have, and the dream will be ruined. Maybe she is thinking something like that. She must like you a lot if she keeps talking to you, but in the meantime she is still living her own life without you. Since you don’t want to make the decision now, then try to relax and just be her friend for now until after the exam and then when you have time to meet, you can spend time together. Then you will both know if you are meant to be or not, and if not you can move on. I think you are putting too much pressure on her to say she loves you too when maybe she is not sure.
May 10, 2018 at 8:27 am #206645Ik09ParticipantRam, I gave 2017 attempt, got through pre but not mains
preparing for 2019 attempt now.
I don’t want to share numbers or my region, this is a public platform and can be seen by anybody and everybody who comes over to cure their mind of the thoughts.
May 10, 2018 at 10:02 pm #206805RamnarayanParticipantIt’s ok ipkR09 I try to Study well here I have only 20 days , today I completed indian geography , preparing current From vision notes and vajiram current affairs notes …
I never realized that here upsc aspirant also available and indian too .. thanks for ur advice , iam working on no contact rule it’s really hard but I am trying .. she not call yet first from last 10 days ..I call always but she not talk me properly , just completed her formality
All the best friend for 2019 , study well !
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This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Ramnarayan.
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