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Jane

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • in reply to: Feeling ignored and slighted by daughter #113743
    Jane
    Participant

    Anita

    I do not agree with you regarding the relationship from the beginning in child hood in this situation. I spent a lot of time with her, she was very much nurtured as it was our plan for me not to work raising our children. My observations regarding parents whose kids turned out well or gave them no grief was that they felt they did a good job (and credit to them). Those same parents would say that kids that don’t turn out alright must have done something wrong. How about considering that kids are just hardwired when they are born, we can influence and guide them as much as possible, but in the end they are who they are. I would just like some acknowledgement, that’s all.

    Inky

    In that respect we share phonees (Yes I pay for that too, until she’s left school). So I send her a reminder for my birthday and my husband’s birthday next year. Hopefully she will get the message. Or maybe I could just forget hers!

    in reply to: Timings not matching or total illusion? #83185
    Jane
    Participant

    Dear Rookie,

    I really like your approach, you are very brave and it was the right thing to do. However, I don’t understand that he wants to spend time with you, so that he can work out whether he wants to spend time with you. It seems confusing and a bit wishy washy on his part and the outcome is still not for him to make a decision. It may be wise to date others, and see if he ‘reaches” to you. I wouldn’t like you to commit yourself without him committing. Life is short. There is a lot of options out there, be kind to yourself. xx

    in reply to: Timings not matching or total illusion? #83142
    Jane
    Participant

    I agree you should probably ask him, with an understanding that he has a life in a difference country. It is hard having family and friends in another part of the world. I say this in order to protect your emotions. But I agree that it would be good for you to have a clear cut conclusion one way or another in order to move on. I had a long term relationship years ago where I felt my boyfriend didn’t want to stay but he kept on stringing me on, it is the worst. All I can say is that there are many good people out there, and if I hadn’t concluded the relationship I would not have met my husband, who I have been married to for years. I live by the rule that if someone takes away my energy or makes me feel bad, let it go. Hope it helps.

    in reply to: Need a little help #83131
    Jane
    Participant

    Dear Logan,

    I have the same feeling but find are in a func at the moment. However, I did go through a phase of trying to find interests that may start a spark in my life. You might log onto meetup.com and see if there are any groups with interests that may fill your emptiness or spark off a new direction for you.

    in reply to: Apathy #83130
    Jane
    Participant

    Daydreamer – just read the Wikipaedia on depersonalization – symptoms can be classified as either depersonalization or derealization. Depersonalization is described as feeling disconnected or estranged from one’s body, thoughts, or emotions. Individuals experiencing depersonalization may report feeling as if they are in a dream or are watching themselves in a movie” This is not me, my problem is taking on, feeling, and being mentally pre-occupied with others problems than my own. Thanks for the comment though.

    in reply to: Apathy #83129
    Jane
    Participant

    The Daydreamer – thanks for your reply. “Depersonalization” not heard that term, but that is exactly how I feel. Can you direct me to somewhere that explains it more, perhaps compartmentalizing how I feel might help. I am not sure that I am taking on emotion of others all the time, if there is no-one around with problems, I seem to keep a revolving tape in my head about issues of the world. I feel stuck with these thoughts, and stuck with not having the physical or emotional energy to do something myself. I know this sounds like depression but it is quite different.

    in reply to: Apathy #83127
    Jane
    Participant

    Anita – I believe I am an empath – that I do feel others emotions, it is almost like I take on their auras, their pain. At the same time I can easily become apathetic in helping myself. Sometimes, I think my purpose in life is to be empathetic with people, sharing and helping other people, and I seem to attract people who need emotional help. This seems to feel the “right” thing to do – but like a battery, at times I feel run down and wish I wasn’t like this. When I say apathetic, I find it takes too much energy to emotionally and physically to help myself.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)