Hi Mypast

I understand that you have an emotional bonding with your friend. That is great and awesome 🙂

Why is it hard for you to understand that the girl doesn’t reciprocate your feelings ? She is with another guy. Leave her alone or be with her like a friend. If she wanted to be with you romantically in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

Girls are not things. They are humans with feelings and they can choose whoever they wish to be with. She has chosen the other guy for the moment. You should respect that if you truly love this girl.

Solution for you: Appreciate that you are in love with someone who may be in love with someone else. Respect that. Respect yourself for letting her go and focus on your life and studies. Start with 20 mins on a book, then take a few mins off to do whatever you need to do but come back to another chapter within 10 mins. Keep the cycle going for atleast 3-4 times and hey, you will be done with some study during that day. Be nice to yourself, my friend.

And I strongly believe in one thing: Some things are just meant to be and they come into our lives to make us stronger and better. Learn the lessons and move on. If she is meant to be yours, she will come back to you eventually. I personally wouldn’t want to spend a life with such a girl but that’s me. I have had an emotional bonding with many of childhood friends for years and still do but that doesn’t mean, my romantic life will be spent with them too.

To make it easier for you – I met my partner during an internship in a random café. Call it fate or destiny, but despite all odds, we were married within a few months and still are after so many years. My respect for him grows every day as he is such a divine soul. He lets me be ME and brings out the best in all of my actions. I couldn’t have asked for a better mate. So moral of the story: Life only gets better if you let it be, my friend. If you hang on to it too tightly, it becomes suffocating for everyone including yourself. Trust Universe to provide for your every desire when the time is right.

Let go, Breathe and go back to studies.

You will be in my prayers tonight.

Jasmine

Hi Kelly

Thanks.

I will share my perspective and hope it will resonate with you at some level. I am not religious either but my life experiences have helped me realise that we are amazingly powerful and when we are able to accept ourselves for who we are, forgiveness and love come easy.

From your words and the energy that I sense, I feel that you are not completely in love with yourself so perhaps letting your partner go will be the best option until you are able to act from your higher self.

Forgiveness is not an illusion but an essential component of a healthy existence on this planet. When we experience negative emotions, we create hormones in our body that lead us to feel sad and down ( science has proven that we are a super chemical factory). When we are happy, we produce happy hormones, which help us to heal. The hormones produce our physical reality for us. With prolonged exposure to bad hormones, some may experience pain and some may experience psychological problems but most of us will feel some effect. This is exactly the reason why stress is causing havoc in so many peoples lives.

When we are able to forgive, we tell our body and inner being that we accept ourselves as we are. We appreciate who we are. Both of these actions help us to release more happy hormones and we feel at peace. When we expect others to admit to their faults or be nice to us etc, we give our power away to other people. By doing this, we tell ourselves that we are not good enough and our body starts to produce bad hormones, which will eventually create havoc in the physical body.

So instead of looking at forgiveness as part of some divine or religious act and find reasons to explain this phenomenon, use forgiveness as a tool to heal your inner being. When you accept yourself for who you are, love who Kelly is, then you will be able to forgive others and accept others for who they are. We are all imperfect beings on this planet who are trying to do our best in our own capacities. No one is more better than anyone else. We are all unique so there is no competition or comparisons.

If you want to truly understand the meaning of forgiveness then start by forgiving yourself first as you are the only one who will suffer as a consequence of not forgiving or expecting apologies from others. We cant love others until we love ourselves. We cant accept others until we accept ourselves and similarly, we cant forgive others until we forgive ourselves.

Does this make sense ?

Jasmine

Thanks everyone.

Hi Sandy

Personally, I find it quite challenging when we call ourselves names or give ourselves limiting labels. You are not a snoop nor have any pathology. You are a perfect piece of creation who is still growing and learning to listen to your inner self.

When we start looking for limiting reasons for our actions, our solutions become limiting as well. However, you are not finite. You have all the power within like you found out.

Give yourself some time, love and care and in a few months, you will be past all of this. When we get stuck to hurt, disloyalty, dishonesty, fears etc – these emotions win. Go beyond them as you are much bigger than anything in this world. Just like yourself, everyone else is a perfect piece of creation as well but has not figured that out yet. This is the reason why we fall in and out of love so quickly. When you start believing how special everyone is, you will never feel hurt by anyone and never fall out of love as you are seeing them from a place of love and acceptance. Life will just become a smooth ride with more beautiful lessons to learn on the way.

Blessings,

Jasmine

Hi Sandy @sandyone

I am not sure what advice you are looking for but I will try to provide my perspective, which may or may not resonate with you.

Only person who can help you is YOU. We all are unique in this world. No other person is like Sandy. This means, Sandy has her own strengths and weaknessess. How Sandy will cope with a situation may be entirely different from how others may deal with that same situation. If I was Sandy, it would be quite clear to me that my current life is not with this guy and I would make a new life for myself. But Sandy is not me.

So you need to figure out what love means to you, what a relationship means to you and what Sandy means for you ? If Sandy is your prime concern then be nice to yourself and move on. Stop tortuning yourself. If Sandy is not your prime concern, then you can continue with your actions and keep living a life with fear.

Can I please recommend this book to you for today and for future: Feel the fear but do it anyway by Susan Jeffers. If you decide to get the book, pls start with the last 2 chapters – if they resonate with you, you will find many of your answers in that book and you will go on to make a beautiful life for yourself. You can get the book from app store or with free delivery from bookdepository.co.uk

Pls be kind to Sandy. She deserves way more happines and let the Universe help you with that. As long as you are stuck to the past or any fears, no one will be able to help you.

Sending you heaps of positive energy and hoping that you will start a new chapter of your awesome life from today itself.

Jasmine

Hi Robito the Buddha @robito

Thanks for your response and it is not too far off from what I was expecting :). Thanks for the opportunity to comment on your post.

I need to make it clear so that there is no confusion : I do not know much about Buddha except for some stories I had heard about him when I was growing up in Thailand as a young soul. I love all the Buddha statues though and my house is full of laughing and happy buddhas. From a young age I have never aspired to be like someone religiously. With recent light of wisdom, I have come to learn that we are all on our own journey and are an important component of the whole universal consciousness, which Buddha was part of. So in a sense, we are already a Buddha. Hmmm…a difficult concept for some to get their head around this but it has started to make sense to my inner being. So I am already a buddha and so are you and so is everyone else :). We just do not know it as yet as our consciousness has not evolved to that level.

I am not sure what your experience has been but in my practice, I have noticed that every session of meditation builds on the previous and every selfless activity / self awareness action does the same. To me, this means that with every session, we are getting filled with more light and positivity. If this is indeed the case then how can someone who is truly practicing meditation indulge in any form of activity, which reduces their positivity (this activity can include a state of drunkenness). I am not talking about an adhoc practice of meditation here. It needs to be a daily practice and part of our schedule like how we brush our teeth daily (i think most do ;), have breakfast, go to work etc. And I have realised that over time, it becomes such a crucial part of your life and it becomes an intoxicant in itself. You become high on positivity and the light you can share with others to bring more love and compassion in their lives. Do you see what am I getting to ?

I think every religion preaches the same – love and that we are all connected. The form, which keeps us together is energy, which can neither be destroyed nor dissolved. It just changes form. A person high on substance intoxicants on a regular basis will not be able to generate enough positivity to practice meditation until his or her level of awareness rises. However, a person who is having intoxicants in moderation will still be able to practice mindfulness everyday as long as they have some discipline in their lives and with each session, the positive energy should rise. As this energy rises, you will be not be attracted to things that bring your positivity down. Universal law about energy seems to be quite straightforward – like energy attracts like. By the way, this is not my law but my experience confirms it. I like to believe in things that I can experience first hand.

So coming back to your question about intoxication and can it be a compassionate action ? Well, it depends. You need to define intoxication and what is this intoxication trying to achieve ? If an intoxication raises your consciousness or someone elses, yes then it is a compassionate action. If it doesnt, then no, it is not.

Does this add any more clarity to what you are asking?

Sending you loads of positive energy. You will be in my prayers tonight.

J

Thanks everyone for your wonderful insights.

I would like to share my learnings and experience on this topic. Until a few years ago, I was under the impression that we need to abstain from certain things to achieve contentment, peace and even self realisation as we need to be able to calm our mind and the thoughts to become more self aware. I felt that it was difficult for me to abstain and if I was to do such an act, I would be doing it out of fear or lack of sincerity in my action.

Thanks to my teacher and his wisdom (not relating to any religion per say), I then learnt that we do not need to abstain from anything. We are human beings who have needs and desires and until we fulfil these desires, we wont be able to progress on the path of self-realisation. Yes, it is one thing to be mindful and self aware about the effects of various intoxicants on our mind, body and soul and to keep it in moderation but it is another thing to abstain totally.

He said that as we progress on the spiritual path by practicing meditation, purity of intention and selfless service, sooner or later, these intoxicants will themselves leave us. We dont have to leave anything and any path, which tells us to leave something (or avoid something) to achieve self-realisation is probably not going to work. As the purity and light in us increases, we will automatically be attracted to things, which nourish our mind, body and soul. It didnt make sense initially but after 2 years or so of practising above, results are becoming more evident. The desires are lessening and impulses are definitely less and the need to follow social norms regarding intoxications do not matter as much. So far so good.

Does this make sense ?

Jasmine

Thanks Edwin @edwinwng 🙂

J

Thanks everyone.

Hi Louise

Pls dont propagate such a message. Everyone on this planet is equal in the eyes of the super power (God in your case). God doesnt discriminate. We humans do. Everyone can start on the spiritual path whenever they wish to. Did you wait for your parents to show you how to walk as an infant or did you start making attempts yourself while your parents watched over and guided you on the path ?

Jasmine

Hi Awakening

My experience tells me that we are 100 % responsible for everything that happens in our lives and we can use this wisdom for our greater good. Watch your thoughts as they are the one causing all the issues. Dissolve all the limiting belief systems and cultivate a new belief system that you are amazing, powerful, beautiful, awesome, successful and you have the midas touch. Life will unfold beautifully for you. Have faith. If you are interested in knowing how belief systems belittle us, you can read my other posts in other forum.

Sending you heaps of positive energy. You are worth it and I know that 🙂

Jasmine