@rahelabraham

Rahel, I hear you. Keep going with your great work 🙂

I attach a link to the “going beyond series” by BK Shivani – lady in white. It is an awesome non-religious resource that you can tap into and watch one video a day to keep your positive energy levels up.

http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8BCGs3ul_7QyGrZXp0ndSxcfwaro_9zT

And remember, you do not have “psychological” problems unlike some others (trust me when I say this) – you just didnt get the right guidance in your life after going through all these traumas. With proper guidance, you will be flying high and there wont be any stopping you then 🙂

Thanks Raeeka – you are so beautiful and vibrant looking 🙂 Warms my heart just looking at your picture. And no, I am not hitting on you he he he

Thanks Paul – very insightful 🙂

Hi Peace57 @peace57

Thanks for telling us a little more about yourself. I will address few issues raised in your post with my creative thinking hat on 🙂

– creative field: no different to scientific field or any other field where there are more opinions than facts. When we deal with people, we are dealing with emotional beings. Beings, who think their idea or creation is the most superior. It is the survival of the fittest kind of thinking that we all have. We shouldn’t feel bad about this trait but instead learn to use it more effectively. A bit of give and take and good negotiation can do us all well. There are many negotiation courses that you take part in, which will guide you in working optimally in any field, which involves humans. Or you can go to a park and watch some dogs come together for the first time and learn from them lol

– Fear. We all have fear of some sort. You can either have fear or you can have love. When you love something, you don’t have fear. When you fear something, you cant love it as you keep thinking about its loss etc. How to turn this around ?

You are respected, you are the best in your field, you are mature, you know what you doing and you have a lot of work experience – All good. Others can take your spot too if they wish as it is not difficult to find a better and bigger person out there. The ultimate question remains: So what ? You are YOU. They are they. We all bring something valuable to the table with our unique capabilities and perspectives. Some people will appreciate it and some wont. So what ? Live in fear ? NO.

You tackle the fear head on. You learn the lessons that the fear is trying to teach you and move forward. Every experience can teach us something if we open our eyes to it. Every negative emotion can lead us to freedom if we see the underlying blessing and go beyond our ego stroking habits. If something is meant to be yours, no one can take it away and if it something aint yours, keep tryingggggggg to have it and it aint coming or staying with yah (opinion rather than a fact…but may become a fact in the future, lol)

When you are fearful, you will lose in the rat race whether you like it or not as your creativity will not be at maximum. You can either use your energies for creating something awesome or you can use your energies to create fear. It is your choice.

There is an awesome book by Susan Jeffers titled, feel the fear and do it anyway if it takes your fancy.

– Now coming to my secret of how I deal with my emotions before entering a room with people. I have only mastered this technique few months ago and it is working wonders for me. No more arguments, no more pressing hot buttons, no more what ifs, no more you are wrong and I am right etc.

Before entering any room with people, I send positive energy into the room (imagine white light engulfing the whole room) and offer a simple prayer – pls help me to stay light and bright. If disagreements occur, let me handle it without losing my temper or getting judgmental. It is going to be an awesome and productive meeting and I will learn something valuable for the future. And wah lah…..each meeting, each client……is suddenly vibrating at positive frequency rather than a disagreement frequency.

Try it before you buy it.

Enough of my preaching 😉

Ciao my friend

J

Thanks everyone. Steve you will be fine and you will have a civil relationship with your ex one day. You can never say never. I am sure Big Blue must have thought something similar about his ex too.

Hi Mags @mags

I suppose you didnt have the courage to write a response directly to me. I understand. Sometimes the pain and suffering are so much more dear to us that when a simple solution comes to fore, it feels quite threatening to our being. How dare someone tell us something otherwise ? What do they know ? I hear you. One day, I am sure it will make sense to you 🙂 Until that day, enjoy your existence and loads of blessings coming your way for sending your positivity into other people’s lives.

Cheers

Jasmine

Thanks Matt. Agree with your teacher. Pain is unavoidable for most of us but suffering is avoidable for all.

Big Blue, I dont know if you could have gotten to this stage of forgiveness earlier. I am not that evolved to answer such a high level question. However, I do know that your future is very bright now, all thanks to this learning that you have had. Nothing in life is going to make you suffer for too long now 🙂 When we forgive, we are telling our mind in a very convincing manner that we do not have time to hurt ourselves. We are too precious and awesome to suffer, yeah !!

@rahelabraham

Thanks Rahel 🙂 You will be fine and I know this very well in my heart. Keep in touch.

Blessings

J

Thanks everyone.

Hi Rahel

Getting back to Dad. Yes, growing up I have had similar problems with Dad as well. His anger, his ways of doing things and his discipline didn’t suit me as I wanted to lead my own life the way I wanted to. I had this problem with not one but many people close to me. I was the problem kid. I was stubborn in my own mind. I did not think about others much and I had a great capacity to hurt anyone with my words and arrogance. This capacity has reduced in the past few years ha ha ha ha

I have been lucky to have many great people come into my life who have tried to teach me forgiveness but eventually, I had to learn it in my own ways and in my own time.

When I realised that Dad and Mom were doing the best they could in their capacities, my anger started to melt little by little. I could understand that Dad and Mom are not ME and I am not them. Yes, we share a genetic print but we are 2 different people. People can be different. People can have their own agendas in life. We can live peacefully with each other and without each other. Dad was being the way he was as that’s the upbringing he was given by his parents. Does that mean that I start to hold anger for his parents and his ancestors ? NO. I was able to accept that Dad is Dad and he is doing what he is good at. He may not know any better and he may never come to see my perspective in life. I also learnt that no one ever says or does anything wrong. There are always 2 sides to a coin. Your perspective may not match mine and mine may not match yours. However, this doesn’t mean that people are wrong.

Within a few years, all anger was gone. As the anger left, acceptance took its place. Every time he said something, which didn’t agree with me, I would just look at him and smile in my mind that Dad is Dad and I am ME. We don’t need to agree on things.

We could have continued the cycle of suffering if I didn’t choose to break it with Dad. I left my arrogance behind and chose to take charge of my life. And now, he has followed the suit. He doesn’t get angry with me and I don’t get angry with him. We talk like friends who have accepted each other for who we are with all bads and goods. Who is perfect in this world as a person ?

Above obviously didn’t come about from doing meditation alone. Sometimes, when our mind is too logical (esp with high IQ), no amount of meditation practice can help us achieve a state of balance as we are constantly in a state of questioning (Why this and why that etc.) Logic keeps taking over and the meditation practice looses its meaning and we feel that meditation hasn’t done what it is supposed to do. Once you shut this logic brain with love, forgiveness and acceptance, meditation can take you to new heights of bliss. And I agree with The Ruminant that meditation is like an exercise for the mind which can achieve great results. An exercise, which works well when we are in charge rather than the mind 🙂 Well, that’s what my personal experience has taught me anyways. To tame the mind, we need understanding of self and others.

I shall take my leave from this thread. Wish you all the best in your forward journey.

Jasmine

Hi Rahel

Congratulations for having a high IQ. Unfortunately, high IQ doesn’t equal happiness in life. You can get to as high a position you want in life and make as much money as you want….but if you are not kind to Rahel, all will be a waste.

I don’t know if your God can turn back time for you….instead, can you imagine a scenario 10 years in the future. You are still the same Rahel 10 years into future at the age of 39 like you are today – still suffering and crying for help. Now, life has given you an opportunity to turn back time and become 29. Can you create the life you want. Can you do it ? If you can create the life you want now, good for you and this is what taking personal responsibility for your pain means.

Start today. Every second that you waste now is not going to come back and in 10 years, you will be repeating the same story if you do not take an action NOW.

I am off to bed now as have work tomo. Hope this helps.

Ciao

Jasmine

Hi Rahel

You know all the answers and yet you seek affirmation…..because you are blaming everything outside of you for your pain.

Once you take personal responsibility for your pain, you wont need help from others. You will be able to chin up and move forward with your dreams.

Go and make your parents proud. Go and be the best daughter you can be. Go and be the role model you want to be for others. Be the good person you want to be. No one is stopping you my dear friend except for yourself.

Things have not gone wrong in your life because of others. They have gone wrong so that you can learn something beautiful from each experience and become bigger and better Rahel 🙂

When your Jesus is with you in your heart, why are you looking outside ? Ask your Jesus for strength and guidance and you will be surprised with the power you generate within.

We often say that there is no one to help us or show us the right path but we forget that we have not asked ourselves for the help as yet. We are always looking outside to other humans. Humans who are still learning themselves he he he