Hi Edoardo,

Someone once described me as “simple in a complicated way”.  I think I try and reduce things down to their simplest form but I’ve probably gone through some very complicated thought processes before I arrive at that point.  I don’t find “eating to live” to be sterile.  I find it life affirming, joyous and celebratory.  (Master those thoughts).  All plants, trees, crops etc. have intelligence.  O.K. we call it nature but isn’t it amazing how much can grow from such a tiny seed (including us).  Apparently, the humble grape is a complete food – it contains all the nutrients our bodies need but who wants to live on grapes for the rest of time?  I hadn’t really thought of the intake of food as integration but you are right, it is.  Thank you.  Nutrition, nutrients, nurture.  The equilibrium you are looking for is how to nurture yourself – am I right?

We are, as human beings, an integration of mind, body, spirit and emotions.  This might take some absorbing but everything that happens to us throughout our lives impacts on all four levels.  Your emotions are affecting your relationship to food which is affecting your body.  Your thought processes are affecting your emotions and you have already introduced your spirit into the equation with regard to your relationship with food.

I would love to hear more about your passions.  It’s quite possible that you can indulge one or two of them in a low key way initially by, for instance, breaking the complexities down into small, manageable portions and treating them as hobbies.

Your meditation sessions sound wonderful.  I am so impressed that you experienced complete union and eternal consciousness.  Rare and special indeed.

Take care.

Peggy

Hi Edoardo,

Firstly, can I congratulate you on your excellent English – it’s word perfect and you manage to give so much relevant detail in such a small space.  That’s quite an art.

I’m glad you brought up the Italians’ relationship with food.  I had thought of it but didn’t want to be guilty of stereotyping.  Having been brought up in a big family I think there may have been a bit of the ‘Italian’ in our household and I do love Italian food.  It’s interesting to note that your eating patterns improved when you spent most of your time with your grandmother.  Is there any way that you can capitalize on this by taking yourself back there at mealtimes.  My mother used to say that we live to eat, not eat to live.  So, in my inexperienced and simple mind, I would like you to change your mindset into one where you are  “eating to live”.  This is where mastering yourself comes into play.

On the subject of living, you describe two incidences as a child where you nearly died.  Have you ever thought that your life was saved on two occasions and maybe you had better find out why?  By this I mean what is your life’s purpose?  Being very intuitive, I feel that you are meant to achieve great things – maybe through art, through writing, through languages, through your love of beauty.

Incidentally, I share your love of beauty.  The English poet, Keats, wrote “A thing of beauty is a joy for ever”.  I agree entirely with him.  It can take me to a whole new level.  It is also interesting to note that the Italians have produced some of the finest sculptures of the male form in the world.

Please write again.

Peggy

Dear Mikalia,

When you met, you and this person were both looking for something that your respective marriages weren’t providing.  Before long, you moved in together and all the children became involved.  Children want their parents together and resent the intrusion of another person into what was their family unit.  This is bound to cause tensions.

At this stage, I would advise that you collect your things as arranged and try to avoid discussing this non-existent relationship.  People get depressed when their lives don’t go to plan.  Divorce signals the end of all your hopes and dreams for the future that you once shared with your spouse.  It’s a loss and there is a grieving process to go through.  You don’t have a choice other than to let this happen.

I know it’s tough when you’ve invested your emotions into someone but you now have to withdraw as this person has done.  I’m afraid there is nothing you can do to make this relationship work.  It’s in the past.  You can live in hope that he might come back to you one day or you can move on.

Peggy

Hi Moondrop,

I missed a bit.  Burn all letters that you write in this connection – former workplaces etc.

Peter has some interesting comments to make which I generally agree with if that’s the way you want to go and Inky makes me laugh.

Kind regards,

Peggy

Hi Lost Soul,

I don’t know if you are reading your posts but just wanted to say that I am thinking about you.

Whenever I’ve felt overwhelmed by all the pressures on me, all the things I’ve had to do, I’ve taken one of the Bach Flower Remedies.  There is one that helps deal with this problem.  I refer to them as my little drops of magic in a bottle.  Within 2/3 days I’ve felt so much better.

Wishing you well

Peggy

Hello Moondrop,

You have a beautiful relationship with your husband who describes you as the loveliest and kindest person he knows.  Your husband saved your life that day.  I truly believe he was brought to you for that purpose.  You felt like you had known him forever, you were so happy to see him, you felt that you belonged with him (home).

Your ex-boyfriend has blamed the break-up on you.  The reality is that it took two and you were not right for each other.  You were and are angry at this person.  Anger arises when someone doesn’t behave how we expect them to.  I am no expert but your nightmares suggest that you have not dealt with the ending of this relationship fully.  You had a very short time with him, he was not a pleasant person and you should be counting your lucky stars that you are no longer with him.

Your nightmares suggest that he still has a hold over you which means you are still attached in some way.  When we meet people we throw out invisible cords to each other and if/when we part, those cords need to be reclaimed by ourselves.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “hooked in” – his hurtful words and behaviour need to be “hooked out” by you.  You need to cut the cords.

I like to envisage a flowing river with myself and the other being at opposite sides of the bank.  He is holding a letter in his hand on which is written all the things that he has said and done to hurt me.  I see him stepping on to a raft with the letter and floating away into the distance.  I wish him well on his journey (through life) and then I walk away forever.

I hope you find peace soon.

Kind regards,

Peggy

Hi Preston,

Your marriage/relationship is very young.  You both love each other but:

1)  You are suffering from depression.  2)  Your wife’s career has taken off while you feel stuck in yours.  3)  You now want different things from each other.

Coming from a personal standpoint, I don’t think it’s a very good idea to live together whilst remaining friends.  This is bound to cause tensions when one person wants more from another person than that person is willing to give.  Your wife has taken off her ring – this is reinforcing her position (just wants to be friends).

It is perfectly reasonable to want to spend quality time with your other half – this does not indicate ‘neediness’ in itself.

Why would your wife be ‘shocked’ that you have decided to spend a couple of weeks with your father.  As your friend, she should be pleased and supportive of you that you are taking a break and reconnecting with your father.  I suspect that her reaction has come from realizing that she is not calling all the shots.

You have one plan at the moment – to go and see your father.  Focus on that and leave any decision making until later.   See how you feel after two weeks away.  Make sure you treat it like a holiday with trips out, visits to places of interest, doing things that you love to do.  Spend some time thinking about how you can improve your career prospects.  Do you need to update your skills, take on extra training or even think about a career change?  If this isn’t possible, perhaps you could undertake some studies in a subject that you really enjoy totally unconnected to your working life.

The most helpful advice I can give you is to be positive and be grateful.  Positive thought leads to positive action and gratitude brings joy (the opposite of misery).  Focus on these two things while you are away:  I am grateful for……….. (aim for 10 things per day) for instance the aeroplane, money for a flight ticket, your father, your toiletries, your clothes etc.

I don’t know whether your wife will be there when you get back or whether you will ever be able to make it as a couple.  I do know that you have to live with yourself for an awful long time – it’s one relationship that you can never get out of – it really is 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  How are you going to do that other than by being kind, loving and supportive towards yourself?

I wish you all the best for the future.

Peggy

Hi Katie,

There is no such thing as an angel skull and a witch skull so you can’t have either.  These are just labels someone else has put on what they deem to be beautiful and ugly.  The vast majority of people fall somewhere between the two.  Welcome to the human race.

You are placing too much emphasis on what this child has said to you.  Sometimes, it’s best just to say “Do you think so?” and laugh it off.  I wouldn’t raise the issue with him again.  It’s really not that important what he thinks about your looks.  What is important is how you see yourself.  Accept yourself as you are.  Beauty comes from within.

With best wishes

Peggy