Forum Replies Created
July 7, 2014 at 3:16 pm #60364
Ok, I will try not to sound like your mom. LOL I have had an abortion, well actually two of them. I still to this day think about those children and wonder what my life would be if I had carried through with it. Try not to beat yourself up over your decision. It is done. There is no do over on this one. You deal with the grief and it gets better over time. You need to build your confidence and self worth. I still struggle with this daily. You need to learn to accept being alone before you can deal with a relationship. You have to learn to make yourself happy before you can begin a relationship with someone else. This is the HARDEST think we women will EVER have to do. We are taught by birth that we are meant to be with a man, that there is something wrong with us if we don’t have a relationship, that we are supposed to get married at a specific time, have babies by a specific time, yada yada, I call B.S.!! Live your life, you are young, look at all the good things in your life, family, friends, good job, I can draw/photography/sculpt, I volunteer, etc. what ever is the good in your life, write it down. Believe me, I have no job, no home (I live with friends and family wherever I can),no money, no college education, etc. I could lay down and wallow in self pitty (and I have) but I won’t and neither should you. Be proud, your a beautiful human being who believes in love and wants love, there is nothing wrong with that. You make mistakes in life. Don’t be ashamed of them, just learn from them and move on. Give yourself a hug for surviving this hurtful world and give yourself time to heal. Hugs from another human still on her own journey.July 7, 2014 at 2:58 pm #60363
Gosh, hun, I am in my 50’s and haven’t found love so I feel your pain. I think a lot of my issues when I was your age is that I blamed the opposite sex from not banging down my door. Now I know that I just don’t know I just don’t have those flirting genes in my dna. Flirting might as well be a foreign language to me. I know there are those girls who can pick up a guy with just a look, or a smile, but somehow when I do that look, I only look constipated or angry. So, just be happy being you, having friends, having a good mom. Find things you enjoy to do, take a cooking class, art class, volunteer. Be thankful for what you do have. Smile, smile, smile. Keep your heart happy. Love will come, maybe not when you want it to, but it will.July 7, 2014 at 2:49 pm #60362
You are not alone. Most people, myself included feel lonely, unappreciated, ignored, unloved. Sometimes we bring this negativity into our lives by fear of our own feelings. I am 50 and I have no friends anymore, they all moved away (seriously), I lost my job, my house, my daughter and her family and my mother, all had to move away because I lost my job and home and could no longer support or help them. So I know what it is like to be alone. However you are young, I am not sure what your interest are or if you have social anxiety issues like me but you have to overcome them. Have you tried Meetup.com? Maybe you can try that, those are clubs that people have formed with people of all ages and interests. Do you have an animal? Animals especially dogs can provide that bridge if you have difficulty talking to girls. Most girls love animals and will love to great a happy dog and find out more about his or her owner. what about anime or gaming clubs? I know there are quite a few out there. Today with computers, social media, online gaming, etc. We are isolated and cut off. Unplug your computer and just get out and walk, yes it will feel very odd and weird at first but repress those paranoid feelings when you do. Take a deep breath, look at the trees, children playing, waive at the neighbors, greet anyone with a dog. I to have issues with my family. They all see me as the brat of the family and the black sheep. But know that no matter what they will always love you. You have to go against your comfort level and branch out a little bit at a time. Go to college, just take a cooking class, an art class, join a gym. Who cares if it is all old people like me. LOL ya never know, sometimes old people have daughters granddaughters they would love for you to meet. Keep your heart open, keep faith, volunteer, again, be friends with all ages and races. You never know what will come your way. It isn’t easy to put yourself out there especially if you are like me and have major social anxieties in a large group or meeting but you have to embarrass yourself sometimes and be ok with it. It makes me want to puke just thinking about going to a meeting or joining something, but I do it because I have made a challenge to myself. You can do it.