Hehe I must say your company, although virtual has been keeping me going! I completely understand the multi tasking thing. I’m also finding that very small things remind me of ‘us’. Even the first time going to my local Tesco was a nightmare because we used to go together!

I think the reason why you feel like it’s a waste is because us women tend to sort of put our life on the sidelines when we get the partner, I know because I did the same, unintentionally. Then when we split it was a sudden shock like what do I do with my time now?! But don’t be so hard on yourself. Go and get your nails done for you! Not for the evenings out you would’ve had with him! Also see it as another task to get you through today. I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do today after work myself. Perhaps gym again, perhaps another series on Netflix! Who knows.. I’m just getting tired of my daily routine, it has absolutely no meaning to it!

If I’m honest, I think i’d rather be physically hurt then endure this kind of pain ever again in my life. It is a lot. I read somewhere that withdrawal from a significant other (heartbreak) feels essentially like a withdrawal from the worst of drugs! And I can totally relate, you can most definitely be addicted to another person!

Hi Shelby,

Sorry to hear you’re having a bad morning! I’ve been having one myself, thinking more and more about texting him back.. really trying to stop myself! I’ve been thinking about it since last night but took myself to the gym instead to keep myself distracted!

Have you got much planned for the day to keep you busy?

I know exactly what she means. I’m the same. Constantly looking for an instant high, something to lift my spirits or make me happy instantly or I’m very low, sulking on everything that has happened. I can’t just sit around and be content with that is.

Accepting what has happened is another difficult one. I don’t think I have done this either. I still in the back of my mind am hoping that this is some sort of bad dream which will soon end. I think that is why the wait for the 11th to pass.. I guess somewhere I am hoping for some kind of miracle to happen maybe?

My birthday was most definitely tough. Really really tough. And I know that the 11th will also be absolute torture. But what choice do I have but to just get through it? None at all.

I am just pleased with myself and the progress I am making in that I have not responded to him. I don’t know how long it will last but nonetheless I am proud. I don’t think it is appropriate for him to approach me in that way with everything else going on.

He could’ve simply asked how I was doing.. and even then why ask when you already know?! As far as I am concerned we have nothing to discuss at present moment unless he wants to discuss our breakup.

Well ladies, he reached out to me last night..

I’m very proud to confirm I didn’t entertain it or respond. I know why he reached out.

Becauae we haven’t got one another on social media anymore he decided to upload updates on his whatsapp as that is the only place I can now see updates (he’s never done this before). So although I know his number off by heart I thought it would be a good idea to delete it off my phone, that way I don’t see his updates. That as a regular has removed my photo etc from his whatsapp. He messaged me saying ‘Did you receive your birthday present?’ to check if I had blocked him as my photo disappeared.

its really annoying that after days of not speaking he thought it would be a good idea to bring up something so irrelevant. He knows I did not receive a card or gift from him.

So progress ladies. I’m very proud of myself. Onto day 5 of no contact! Bring on the 11th!

I hope you’re both feeling okay this morning!

Shelby,

You’re right. Contacting him isn’t going to make a difference. Not tonight & not ever to be quite frank. I’m going to tuck into bed, eat leftover birthday cake and watch some Netflix instead!

Victoria – welcome to the forum hun! I’m sorry to hear about your struggle! May I ask why the decision to split from your partner?

Shelby,

There is some sense to that. I think it comes down to learning how to live without your significant other. The same way we adjust to sharing every part of your day with the other, we must then adjust to not being able to do this anymore. What I found the most difficult and still do is not being able to share small, insignificant details about my day or life with him. And that then leads to me missing him. Missing having someone who actually cares to hear about those things.

I think perhaps your last split was different as maybe you somewhat knew it wasn’t really the end. This time as you say is different. And I hope that in itself is enough motivation to get you through this difficult time. The fact that you cannot control r influence that this is the outcome.

It really is a shame that he has decided he is unable to move forward in the relationship. I know that all too well. But if he really wanted to, he would have! That’s what you’ve got to keep repeating to yourself.

It is unfortunate Shelby but yes I do think we have a while yet to go before we both feel remotely okay. A lot of self control will need to take place in order to ensure healing, unfortunately something I’m not very good at! Keeping in light contact on my end will need to stop to progress.. i’m slowly getting there.

I like to rationalise with myself and say that it didn’t take me 2 months to fall in love with him.. therefore it’s impossible for it to take 2 months to get over him! It’ll take time!

Try to just be kind to yourself enough to get you by daily. If you don’t fancy getting dressed up there’s nothing wrong with that! I stayed in bed for probably the first 6 weeks after. I also lost a total of 2 stone in that time as I simply couldn’t eat anything and my appetite is still not back to normality.

I’m feeling rather low this morning! I keep checking my phone in some crazy hope of a turnaround of events. Just going to try and keep busy at work! That’s the best I can do!