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First of all you are a gift to this world….you just can’t see it yet.
I can relate to some of the things you write here, so I know, it’s the heavy past and shame that have dragged you down to depression and anxiety. It’s a lonely place to be.
But please believe, it doesn’t have to be that way. You can change that. You can change and turn around your circumstances and the future and be happy.
You deserve that.
If you feel like e-mailing me and talking about it, then write to me on firstname.lastname@example.org
I also think you answered your own question.
People say they don’t know what they want out loud, because then they know they would have to commit to their dream. It’s much easier to say I don’t know….because then you don’t have to do anything to come out of your comfort zone, which means you continue doing the same things you’ve been always doing.
Also, most of the times it’s easier to point what we don’t want. Maybe you could start with that. Then notice what’s left…choose and commit.
I personally found that my biggest obstacle has not been not knowing what I love (although I had no idea), but the fact that I kept myself busy with things/people so I at least had something….like you mention..the job, the new guy etc.
As soon as I realized that and became aware of fear of failure, it’s even more scarier. You need courage to say out loud what you want. It’s sort of like getting married, you commit to the unknown. It might work out or it might not. But if you commit, try and stay true to your gut feeling, you can’t go wrong.
Good luck working on it! It’s the toughest things to do. I believe it’s our duty, to align who we are with what we do (it doesn’t happen overnight).
all the best 🙂
Your words moved me. I’m not a doctor, but I know a lot of people who feel just like you. I know it feels lonely to feel like that, but you are not alone. Please do get a professional help and medical help, ask your parents to help you with finding help, or reach out to someone in your life.
Additional to professional help add this simple routine to your day…it’ll help you control your thoughts, anxiety and hopefully help you sleep:
Just take 5 minutes every morning. Sit, close your eyes, relax, focus on your breath and notice the thoughts that appear in your mind. Don’t judge your thoughts, just notice what comes up. Notice also how you feel in your heart and in your body. Any tensions, pain?
Focus only on breathing in and out, in and out for 2-5 minutes each day. Do it every day.
Also, when ever you feel anxiety and negative thoughts piling up during a day, just take a second and take 5 deep breaths. Just take all your focus on breathing.
The reason we feel stressed/anxious is because our thoughts wander in the past or future. We don’t know how to be fully in now.
I also want to tell you that those thoughts in your mind are not who we are. Those are just your thoughts. Notice your thoughts, but know that THE REAL YOU is behind those thoughts. The negative anxious thoughts are not you, they’re just your negative thoughts.
About finding yourself: I believe once you notice your thoughts, even write them down, then REAL you begins to appear. After, you’re able to sleep and function again.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re not a failure, you’re just 19 years old…..that’s what 20’s are for….to figure out WHO YOU ARE! 🙂
Honestly, been there done that….I know how it feel to feel trapped and stuck, anxious and lost…..and not knowing how to get out.
E-mail me if you want me to help you with questions or the breathing exercise email@example.com.
I’ve written some posts about depression, finding yourself…..let me know if you’re interested.
You have a bright future in front of you. Every painful lesson we have is OUR lesson in life to improve/grow…it’s not fun to hear now, but you’ll see it later.
So, to sum up: reach out for professional help + do the breathing exercise.
hugs, KristiApril 8, 2013 at 4:44 am in reply to: Living a richer, more meaningful life based on values #31957
For me personally, a search for a richer life started with these questions: How do I define success or a good life? What are my values, choices and experiences? But the most difficult mountain to climb has been and still is to learn to watch the mind, accept/let go of emotions, fears and doubts. I think to live a rich life, we need to be true to ourselves and make most out of the present moment.
Great topic! I think sometimes seeking or waiting for purpose is too much pressure we put on ourselves. Instead, we should perhaps find our personal values and voice as individuals. Find our true self, with all the good and bad, learn to accept and love ourselves. Once we’ve done that we know ourselves, then we can try new things and see what truly moves us and makes us to feel alive. I guess I see finding purpose as a journey. I got three rules I try to follow, stay true to my myself, follow my heart and shut down the noise from the world.