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October 8, 2019 at 7:44 am #316699LenaParticipant
Grenada that’s so awesome! The work you do sounds super impactful. I get what you mean about mental health hitting home…I felt that way in college too and ended up majoring in psychology, even though I didn’t end up pursuing it as a career. I can’t imagine the types of things you encounter every day. Just the thought of kids who went home to no parents is heartbreaking–it’s really frightening how bad things are right now for a lot of people.
And lol that’s so funny/strange that our TF’s are practically twinsies. I had watched some of the videos you recommended (the twin flame revolution ones on youtube) and it was funny how much the “runner” twin flame reminded me of my TF (i forgot her name, but she’s super cool). Just her general attitude and the conviction in her voice, her powerful way of speaking…it reminds me of my TF and why I was was so drawn to him. It seems like she went through a period of intense addiction too, just like my TF. I almost wonder if an addictive personality/habits is a commonality in a lot of TF runners (and chasers for that matter).
And yea the music thing is kinda crazy. Like, I really love music and it’s always been a big part of my life. Since the very night I met my TF he expressed how important music was to him (within like 10 minutes of meeting him he took me to his room in the middle of a party to listen to his favorite Frank Ocean tracks…dorky I know lol). It’s like music has connected us from the start. And I remember something he said that struck me a lot, about how, for him, music is an outlet allows him to express and feel emotions that he normally would feel uncomfortable with, or that society looks down upon. It’s like he feels this pressure to present this positive, cool guy view to the world, when deep down he has a lot of heavy emotions brewing. It makes me sad for him that gender stereotypes contribute him to him feeling that way—to him not being able to connect with his emotions outside of music, or to not feel comfortable expressing them with others. I see a lot of myself in him, because I used to feel the same way, until I realized that building solid female friendships and leaning on them for a support was a way for me to release and express old toxic emotions and memories.
October 8, 2019 at 4:25 am #316677LenaParticipantFaber,
This is a really interesting question, and one I’ve struggled with myself. I too have a lot of insecurities, and have struggled in relationships/dating in general to not let anxiety get the best of me and to be a more confident and self-trusting person. The truth is, there is no clear answer, but attachment style is a real thing, and is distinct from the general traits of insecurity or anxiety that might manifest themselves as you’re getting closer to someone. There are a lot of psychological research studies out there involving infants and the way they respond to their primary caregivers that corroborate attachment theory and show the effects it can have in later romantic relationships.
For me, realizing I definitely had an anxious “insecure” attachment style was a major turning point in being more conscious of my behaviors and therefore being more capable of changing them. I’m not saying that my own personality traits don’t play a role in my dating style—I’m definitely an over thinker and over-analyzer, and don’t have as much confidence as I would like—but it is sort of freeing when you realize that attachment plays a role in it too. I’ve come to realize that my anxious attachment style definitely factors into why I’ve been constantly drawn to avoidant, emotionally distant men who feed into my anxiety and make me feel out of control and volatile. It’s not like I consciously want it lol (who wants to feel crazy?), but I think a part of me has misinterpreted all the drama of dating emotionally ambivalent people as genuine passion. Like, those highs and lows of being with someone who pulls away-but seems to genuinely like me underneath it all-is sort of exciting, weirdly enough, because it mimics the romantic notions we all grew up with as love being this battlefield..this game where we have to overcome obstacles to be with the one we love. But in the end being someone is emotionally avoidant is enough but fun. It’s actually really frustrating and exhausting and deflating and makes you constantly question yourself-why am i not enough? Why can’t this person see the value in me? Why did they choose this other person over me? Why can’t I have an awesome, stable relationship like other people? Why am I so weird and dramatic and emotional and sensitive? The list goes on.
I really recommend the book attached, which explains attachment theory well. I think the fact you’re having these questions is awesome…the first step in changing any behavior is just being aware of it. And for me, once I made a conscious decision to start avoiding the types of people I usually go for -avoidant attachment styles-I realized it is possible for me to have a stable relationship. With someone who is fun and layered and complex, but still secure and communicative and doesn’t set off all these red flags in me.
And also, I’m not saying I’m not still drawn to avoidant types, unfortunately. I recently had a fling with someone that was pretty avoidant, and who clearly didn’t want anything more than a physical relationship with me. I didn’t pull away immediately, but once I got the signs I often get when I’m dating an avoidant—not sleeping well, being preoccupied with them, over analyzing the situation, etc—I decided it was probably best to end things. And it was actually a really good decision, because he turned out to be an emotionally manipulative person with deep-seated issues. He tried to lure me back in by claiming he’d talked about me with his therapist (the old me would have been probably eaten that up and been flattered lol) and tried to gaslight me by saying that I was the one with issues that prevented our relationship from moving forward and claiming that I was missing out by not being with him. He actually texted me things like #insecurities and #self-Sabotage.These millennial boys are ridiculous, but that’s a story for another day.
Anyway, my point is, had I continued dating this person (which I was tempted to, given that I did feel like we had a connection), I would have gotten really attached to someone that wasn’t good for me, and that has a lot of work to do on themselves. I saved myself a lot of trouble my just going with my gut that this was not a person I needed in my life. I do think as you become more confident and secure in yourself-both in your attachment style and just in general-you become way more discriminating about the people you spend time with. You learn to value yourself more, and not accept behavior that you know deep down isn’t what you deserve. You learn that there are so many connections out there that you can have, and just because this person feels really special or different doesn’t mean they’re the one for you. Great chemistry with someone is amazing, but great chemistry with someone who treats you well and genuinely values your time and all the qualities you bring to the table is even more amazing. And we all deserve that.- This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Lena.
October 7, 2019 at 12:01 pm #316563LenaParticipantHaha ooh the LSATs, fun times. And yea being a lawyer right now is rough…I do corporate law, but really want to immigrants’ rights full-time (which I’m doing now pro bono). Before I became a lawyer I wanted to be a therapist, until I realized that doing public interest law is essentially like being a therapist and lawyer in one, lol.
And it’s funny that you mentioned communication style. One insight I’ve gained through this whole TF experience is how much I think I’m being clear with the people I’m dating, when in fact I’m sending mixed signals. It’s like there’s this whole inner battle raging inside of me between being the “cool girl” who just lets things unfold versus being being someone who is clear and assertive and intentional about what I want–and I guess that conflict comes out in the way I communicate. I actually just had a romantic experience recently where I felt that inner battle, and ended things after a couple of months because I knew the guy wasn’t for me (despite our super strong chemistry). It’s kind of crazy how much he reminded me of my TF…he had a hard, masculine shell but loves music/nature and has really deep emotions, he has addiction issues, struggles with depression, etc. It’s like the universe sent me someone that was my mini-TF, except this time I dealt with it in a much more mature way–and didn’t get back in touch with him after I ended things, the way my old self would have.
That’s the main takeaway I get from this whole TF thing…that in the end I think I’ve come away a stronger, more enlightened person (or at least someone who is attempting to be more enlightened ha). It’s like my TF experience, painful as it was, has given me the tools I need to be a better dater, friend, relative etc. And maybe I needed that wayyy more than I needed a soulmate.
And yea, you’re right, asking for that feminine/masculine mix is not too hard to ask for. Sometimes I’m just worried that I have really high expectations about things, so I downplay my desires lol. But yea… I’m hoping that now that it’s way more clear to me what I want in a partner (that whole feminine/masculine thing, for starters), it’ll be easier for me to find them. Or to spot them when they suddenly show up in my life.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts/experience, Grenada! 🙂
October 7, 2019 at 10:04 am #316509LenaParticipantGrenada ahh so much of what you said is bringing up really similar thought processes/emotions that I’ve experienced with my twin flame!
I too struggle with feeling emotional and being angry sometimes…anger that I’ve definitely expressed towards my TF. Like, I’m usually cool, calm and collected–I’m a lawyer, so I rely on a lot on reason and keeping my composure–but when it comes to men and feeling like they disrespected me or overstepped my boundaries, I can blow up and be an a**hole lol. It just really angers me when men take advantage of my kindness and empathy towards them, and don’t show that same level of respect back. And for some reason my TF set off that anger more than most.
One thing that dealing with my TF has taught me is that it’s okay to express that anger and to feel it—it’s part of the process of accepting and letting go. As long as you express it in a respectful way without name calling (which unfortunately I’ve definitely done lol). I’ve realized that I can’t bottle up my emotions or pretend to be the “cool girl” anymore that just goes with the flow and accepts shitty behavior (from people I’m dating or even from friends). A real relationship with honest communication consists of a dialogue where you feel safe enough to express your needs and negative feelings, not just the warm, fuzzy ones.
And yea, our TF’s don’t automatically deserve access to us and our innermost thoughts. Especially when they’ve shielded us from theirs. I think that’s part of the self-love and self-respect thing—I’m open to the idea of one day re-igniting things with my TF, but that’s only if I feel that he’s willing to be open and pursue things, too. And only if he’s done the work to become someone that’s more self-aware and less “self-involved”, which he’s acknowledged that he has been. I’m no longer going to be the one to send him texts where I wear my heart on my sleeve and get nothing real in return. If I ever see him again, I ‘ve decided I just want to listen and receive what he has to say.
It’s funny how he claimed, the last time we saw each other, that he had so many things he wanted to say, yet he didn’t say any of it. And that’s not ok.
On the positive side, I think something this whole TF experience has taught me is to embrace both the feminine and masculine in myself. Like, I think things that really attracted me about my TF is that he’s super passionate about his work, driven, and competitive; he’s the type of person that goes after his goals single-mindedly and makes them happen. With me, I’ve realized that I’ve adopted a kind of lackadaisical attitude about my career….like, I’ve let things happen without setting concrete goals about what I want to accomplish. And I’ve realized that I have a lot more potential than I’ve given myself credit for and gifts that I want to tap into.
It’s funny how since meeting him, I’ve picked up on his masculine energy a bit—I feel more comfortable expressing anger. I feel more comfortable being assertive and direct, even if guys perceive me as a b*tch. Yet I’ve also embraced my feminine energy more too…I’ve found myself wanting to be pursued in a relationship, and realizing that’s okay. I want to be with someone that feels comfortable enough in their skin to be open and not play games and make the first move. And I’ve realized that I want to date someone that has also fully embraced their feminine and masculine side—who has no problem with being affectionate and tender, but can also be forthright and assertive. It may be a lot to ask lol, but I don’t want to settle in a relationship. I’d much rather just date around, have good friends and enjoy my life.
And ughh, I know the feeling you described about being in that person’s arms and wishing it was with your TF. That happens to me all the time, where I feel sad and messed up and annoyed with myself because the person that’s showing interest in me is not the person I truly want. I felt conflicted ALL THE TIME when I was with N, but wanted to be with S. It felt like I was emotionally cheating on him. I still feel bad about it. But I guess things were never meant to be with N anyway, and being with him did bring me closer to the type of relationship that I ultimately want.
I’m really glad that you’ve come to realizations about your TF. One thing that’s helped me a lot is setting boundaries with mine (in my last text I told him that if we ever saw each other again in a social setting, we should keep our distance). At first I was angry when he didn’t respond. But then I realized it was silly to expect him to–he’s never been communicative, even though I’ve given him the space and opportunities to come around. And I get the sense that him not responding is his way of having control over the situation—like, HE wants to be the one that decides when we shouldn’t talk. If it were up to him he’d probably just let things be open-ended forever. Even when I practically begged him for closure.
In the end I think the closure has to come within ourselves. Like you said, I think that’s the purpose of this experience—to give in to ourselves, love ourselves, flaws and all. And to develop and stick to our self-routines (like meditating and exercising and all that good stuff). It’s funny how every time my TF has returned into my life, even temporarily, he’s disrupted that routine. I’ll literally go back to my old sleep patterns (I used to have bad insomnia) and will go back to stalking his social media or wasting time or just feeling crummy about myself. The second he’s gone from my life, I actually feel physically better. I sleep and eat better. And to me that’s a huge indication that, at least for now, I’m better off alone, working on myself and the things I want to accomplish. Even though there’s a part of me that will probably always be curious about him and want to see him again. But like you said, life isn’t a fairytale, and I can’t wait for some hypothetical future when he comes around and shows me that he’s made progress and is willing to put in the work and time that a relationship demands. I have to focus on the here and now. He’s not here now.
October 6, 2019 at 7:01 pm #316391LenaParticipantGrenada and Anita: just saw your posts! Not sure how I missed them.
Grenada–I totally relate to everything you’ve said about your TF. Wish there was a way to message individually or something– it’s so refreshing to hear from someone who gets what I’m experiencing. It’s super interesting to me how people’s stories about twin flames are super similar…like, they all involve the same themes, same patterns, same behaviours. And similar to what you’ve said, even though I’m open to spiritual (and spiritually challenging) experiences, this has by far been one of the hardest for me to confront, because of all the feelings of self-loathing and insecurity and loneliness it’s conjured up inside me. It’s like suddenly I’m in middle school again and have braces and acne and feel like crap about myself :p
Probably one of the most challenging aspects of this experience is how legitimately bad and judgmental I feel towards myself for still having feelings towards my TF. We went on A FEW DATES. I live in a super fast-paced city where people date around all the time. Heck, I date around all the time, lol. So why am I stuck on this one person who pulled away from me? Who couldn’t be bothered to take the time to have a simple conversation with me, be honest with me, clear the air? Who made me doubt myself, stirred up old demons inside me? Why can’t I just be content with guys like N (my ex), who tried to make me happy and learn what makes me tick?
I know my anxious attachment style plays a part of it, but it still doesn’t completely explain the fixation I’ve felt towards this person. It’s like the more I try to be rational, the less sense it makes– I just have to accept it for what it is. I’ve been scared to use the TF label because that would mean accepting something that I’ve tried very hard to push away. But even if I go a day or two or three without thinking about my TF (much), the feelings always return. It’s like waves that ebb and flow, and the more I fight against the current the stronger my thoughts of him are.
“Maybe I need to stop assuming that because they don’t open up like I do, that they don’t notice things”–VERY TRUE. I’ve probably made a lot of assumptions about my TF, based on his behaviour, that aren’t necessarily true. During our last text conversation, after that crazy two-day birthday party where we had just started to open up to each other, he told me that I wasn’t the only one feeling things and that I needed to stop acting like I was the only one that would have difficulty moving on after that weekend. He said he was still just trying to process what had happened.
It made me realise that I had no clue what was going on in his heart, and that maybe he has been going through some inner turmoil and conflict that i don’t know about. I’ve been judging him, judging myself, when maybe i just need to accept the situation. Which is, we both have a lot of work to do before we get together. Not just him–me. Because as much as I’d like to think of myself as being more spiritually awakened than him, the truth is that I have a lot of work to do, too. If we ever do get together (reunite/ascend/that whole lingo lol) I’d like to be in a place where I feel secure enough, in myself and in my life’s path and purpose, to know that even if he were to disappear again, I’d be okay. I wouldn’t fall apart or drown in doubt and regret and self-admonishment.
And if 100% honest with myself, it’s going to be a while until i get to that place. I still don’t think I’ve found what truly sets my soul on fire with passion and purpose. And maybe that’s what I need to do before I reunite with my TF/find my soulmate/etc.
Anita–thank you for your wise words as well. I know I keep returning to this twin flame terminology, but it definitely helps to see things from a different perspective. And this idea of “trusting myself enough to live more spontaneously, less self consciously, less critical of myself, less on guard- like a child” is one that really resonates with me. I’m an incredibly self-conscious and self-critical person; I always have been. It’s part of the reason why I’m actually the one that does quite a bit of running in relationships. I’m scared that the more a person gets to know me, the more they’ll see my flaws, my deficiencies. But the more I progress in my spiritual journey, the more accepting I’m coming to be towards myself, slowly but surely. And the more I want real love with someone who wants it with me as well.
September 26, 2019 at 8:17 pm #314547LenaParticipantAnita–I can definitely relate to your analysis of the situation. I do think there was something about him that I just clicked with on a level that’s hard to express and reminds me of being a child, when things were much less complicated. Even though we talked a lot and deep conversations, what stands out most to me about out time together is that sometimes we would just look at each other, or hold hands, and it was magical. It felt like I knew him. Something about the way he looked at me felt so familiar; I got the overwhelming feeling sometimes that he reminded me of someone.
Even when we in a crowd of people, he would look at me from across the room and wiggle his eyebrows or do something ridiculous to make me laugh. And there was something lighthearted and positive about his aura that really drew me in. It just felt really good to be around him, in an effortless way that I’ve rarely encountered when dating. I hadn’t connected this with my childhood experiences but I think it’s certainly possible–especially since my understanding is that attachment styles develop very early on in infancy. And I have no doubt that my “anxious” attachment style played a role in the push and pull I’ve experienced with him.
Grenada–thank you for sharing. I know exactly what you mean about feeling that if it were up to you, you’d be on a beach somewhere talking over things with your TF. That’s how I feel too…I just want the opportunity to see him again and have a meaningful conversation. It doesn’t sound like much to ask lol. But he doesn’t seem to even want to give me that (especially after seeing me with my ex N), and I just have to accept that. I’m not reaching out to him, I’ve given up on the idea of initiating things with him.
And it’s funny that your TF sounds a bit like mine, closed off. Which drives me crazy. For me, emotional intimacy, trust, honesty, and communication are all very important. I NEED, not want, a partner who is emotionally intelligent and mature, and who reciprocates when I open up. But S–from what I’ve picked up, again mostly relying on my intuition and things he said on dates–seems to have a lot of really deep-seated issues that prevent him from fully connecting romantically with someone. For one thing, he said that he’s never been in love. Even though I don’t like being judgmental, that did strike me as being a bit strange, as we’re both in our late twenties. To me, that suggests a fear of intimacy, fear of relinquishing control, etc., which explains some of his behaviour. He also seems to be in a lot of pain over the death of someone he was very close to. And, from what my mutual friend told me, he seems to be using drugs like adderall/coke. I had actually picked up on this when we were dating and asked him if he was on Adderall…he was like “how did you know?” I just did.
Bottom line, I know he’s in a rough place. And all I can be is compassionate and recognise there’s nothing I can do about it. But it’s hard having genuine feelings towards someone I know I can’t be with (and who probably doesn’t have the same feelings towards me, even though deep down I feel like he might, and it makes me sad and frustrated and angry he just can’t be honest with me).
September 25, 2019 at 5:03 pm #314343LenaParticipantAnita,
Thanks for your perspective–I agree that trust is really the building block to any meaningful relationship. Much more so than infatuation, which is what I often worry my feelings towards S can only be described as. For me, I cut things off with him–despite being very, very into him–because logically, I knew that I could not date someone, even casually, that didn’t respect my time, wasn’t consistent, didn’t show a genuine interest in getting to know me, etc. And so I distanced myself from him, because I knew that he was someone I couldn’t rely on to provide me with what I 100% know I need in a relationship. And him saying things behind my back to suggest the feelings were one-sided only confirmed my fears that maybe I just have an unhealthy infatuation I need to work to get over.
The only problem is, the more I try to let go and move on, the more I cling onto him. I really don’t know why. I’ve had many relationships/flings over the years and though some have been intense, I’ve usually gotten over them without any issues (with the exception of 1 boyfriend who was on my mind for years, but that was an actual relationship. Unlike this). I don’t know what it is about S that makes me still think about him so often. I try to fill my time with meaningful things–seeing friends, taking trips, hobbies–but the negative part of me feels really disappointed in myself. Like maybe my life is so empty that I need to invent wild romances to make it more exciting. I feel bad if that’s the case, because I really do just want to live in the present and see reality as it is instead of living in some fantasy I’ve created.
It also doesn’t help that at times S has appeared to have similar feelings, though he’s refused to actually talk about them in depth with me. Again, the pessimistic part of me has come to the conclusion that he probably doesn’t have those feelings after all….he’s probably just getting some ego boost from having a girl that’s “super into him,” as he told his friend. I don’t know. I’m tired of speculating about his state of mind or emotions towards me and just want to focus on myself, but it’s really hard. Especially since he lives in the same city and I know it’s possible that I’ll run into him in a social setting.
September 24, 2019 at 2:26 pm #314095LenaParticipantThanks Faber! I was a bit long-winded and probably provided way too much detail lol but I couldn’t help just get it off my chest. And yes, it is a really challenging connection, mostly because it’s made me doubt myself so much. A part of me has sought to disown the connection and cast it off as being a figment of my imagination because of how intense and strange and non-conventional it is. But the more I disown it, the more my subconscious forces me to accept it as real…for instance, I’ll dream about him more during periods where I’ve attempted to suppress what I feel towards him. So I’m slowly learning to just accept it, “crazy” or not. And also realize that in some ways I’VE been the avoidant one, even though I’ve always labeled him as the “runner”.
Great question by the way, I would love to know the same. @Grenada , if you don’t mind me asking, how did you leave things with your twin flame? Did you eventually learn to accept it and move on? I’m fearful as to whether I’ll able to truly let go of the desire to see S again and be “reunited,” versus just living my life and being ok with whatever happens.
September 23, 2019 at 10:54 am #313793LenaParticipantIt’s interesting to hear your perspective on things, because I also feel like I’m moving from having an anxious attachment style to a more secure one. And a big part of the reason for that is that since meeting S, I’ve made a concerted effort to only date men who are consistent, who seem to want something long-term and who don’t ignite these crazy feelings of anxiety and self-doubt in me. I’ve also learned to express my needs more, be more comfortable with being vulnerable and end things when I realize a guy is probably avoidant.
Overall I have little doubt that my encounter with S, whether he is my TF or not, stirred up something in me that led me to a path of self-discovery and spiritual progress, and for that I am grateful. I saw the TF video you recommended and loved it (the couple is so cute and insightful!) and I do think in the end the tf/false tf flame distinction is probably irrelevant. No matter how I label S, it’s clear to me that he has had a “sacred purpose” in my life, which was basically to jump start my interest in spiritual development and to force me to re-think and modify my attachment styles in relationships.
Thanks for well wishes with regard to my TF/soulmate..wishing you the same!
Lena
September 22, 2019 at 8:13 pm #313673LenaParticipantLol “the universe is bugging”–love it. That’s partly the reason I wanted to share my story, to meet others that have also met their twin flames and hear their experiences–so thank you! Like I’ve mentioned, none of the friends I’ve spoken to about it really get it, or they think it’s an unhealthy fixation that I just need to get over. If I could wave a magic wand and make the feelings go away I would…but, unfortunately, I can’t.
And to respond to what you said–there was a time that I was deeply felt that he was my twin flame, but I’m one of those people that constantly struggles between her head and her heart. And I’ve felt so hurt (and embarrassed, in a way) by my feelings towards him that I’ve basically talked myself out of it. But then I’ll have a dream, or hear a song, and fall into this reverie where I think about him and be swept up by the overwhelming feelings that he is my TF. Or if I’m going through something painful, I’ll think about him, and the thought of him makes me feel better, somehow.
And yea, I can totally relate to the idea of a TF enhancing one’s spiritual calling. I’ve definitely felt that’s been the case with me. And it’s funny how during the few times we hung out together, I felt like my intuition grew to the level where I almost felt psychic. Like I just knew certain things about him, to the point where he would ask me “how did you know that?” It was kind of eerie.
And don’t even get me started on the 11:11 thing lol. My birthday is on 11/11, and our birthdays are both in November. So i think the signs are there–I’m just scared to admit them. Because what i feel for him makes no sense, and I’m truly in a stage of my life where i’m tired of waiting on someone and just want to find someone who cares about me and doesn’t run away.
Any thoughts on false twin flames?
September 22, 2019 at 10:16 am #313561LenaParticipantEmilia:
I can 100% relate to this. It’s easy to feel different as an introvert, especially when you’re in a situation (like school) where you’re constantly confronted with large groups of people who all seem to be super comfortable and chatty with each other and don’t appear to have any issues whatsoever relating to others. In college, when I was deeply struggling with my self-worth and identity, I constantly felt like a loner, isolated, pathetic even–even though I had friends who cared about me. I definitely carried around that feeling you describe of wondering if something was wrong with me, like maybe I couldn’t grasp something fundamental about human interactions that everyone else understood so easily.
As I’ve gotten older, though–and felt more comfortable in my own skin–I’ve realized that I’m not a loner, per se; I very much enjoy being around other people. But I do best in situations where I’m with people I can be myself around, a handful of “kindred spirits.” And being alone is great too. To me, Western society (especially in Instagram/Facebook age) values quantity in friendships over quality, but I see the value in friends that I can have those deep conversations with, friends who are on the same wavelength, who encourage, challenge and inspire me. And frankly, a lot of people who seem to have a plethora of friendships don’t necessarily have that. Real friends are rare, and I think introverts are particularly adept at keeping true friendships alive, cultivating them, and valuing them over the surface-level, fleeting relationships that come and go.
Something that made me feel better about who I am (and that made me realize that I’m not alone) is reading the Highly Sensitive Person person book. There are tests that you can take online to assess whether you fall into the category of being an “HSP.” To me, when I realized that I was an HSP and that there were others like me, it was easier (and exciting!) to learn that I have a cognizable personality trait that accounts for a big part of why I felt “different” growing up. I definitely recommend checking it out as I suspect you might fall into that category yourself–or even if you don’t, could probably identify with a lot of the traits that HSI’s possess.
As this thread shows, there’s a community out there of people just like you. You aren’t alone, and the fact that you’re starting to accept and embrace this quality about yourself–instead of rejecting or resenting it–is admirable!
Peace,
Lena
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