Forum Replies Created
May 10, 2022 at 9:43 am #399876
The young woman you mentioned sounds like an extreme version of me. I still need to muster the courage to go out everyday and face people. I am quite good at faking this normal personality but when I get home I’m exhausted. I am one of those people for whom the pandemic provided relief. It is a terrible thing to say because so many people lost their lives and some people were out of work. I am one of the lucky ones that my company managed to shift to virtual arrangement in the interim, so I should count my blessings.
I am jolly and the happiest when I’m by myself. No overthinking of how I’m going to be perceived, whether I’m gonna offend or say the wrong things, just me and wikipedia, reading about random interesting stuff. I could just relax, no anxiety. I don’t know if it’s healthy. As I said, I’m an immigrant with no friends or family so I’m not really building any support system by being a recluse, and that worries me sometimes.
I should also say I have schizoid personality disorder. I used to have this elaborate fantasy world as a coping mechanism. I seldom visit it anymore but at one time, my reality was so unbearable that I used to escape to that fantasy world every so often.May 9, 2022 at 7:19 pm #399846
Thank you for taking the time to write all this, Anita. The last part in bold really rings true. I don’t know how to interact with people, socializing is exhausting for me. Even the good ones, I’d go home and ruminate and nitpick mistakes I did, phrases I shouldn’t have said.
I am an immigrant. While life is good on my own (good job, good home) but I have no friends, no family, and I thought animals were my last saving grace. Turned out not to be the case. I have no support system.
I am still reeling. I am not my usual jolly self. I still have knots in my stomach. I still have no appetite. I cannot find joy in anything. I am lying in bed all day but still can’t sleep properly. I am questioning everything about my life.
Animal rescue people, while their intention is noble, can be some of the most vicious people on earth. It’s a good thing I’m not in social media.May 8, 2022 at 8:53 pm #399724
Thank you, Anita, for taking the time to reply to me. I really appreciate it.May 8, 2022 at 8:36 pm #399720
I guess…also…why I am trying so hard to correct this mistake (not to make excuses but it was a truly honest mistake born out of carelessness) is because I guess I have been wronged several times (honest or not) and I guess some people did not own up to it or even tried to deflect the blame, and I just don’t want to be one of those people.
Also, I truly think this pet shop is one of the good ones, I could see the owner was a good person and I made it up in my mind that he was probably struggling to keep the dogs because he may never choose to put down unsold dogs (purely my assumption and you know what they say, when you assume…).
Like you mentioned, his is also probably a case of no good deed goes unpunished, which is why i’m kicking myself in the butt for failing to see how my action could come across and why I want to make this right for him.
When he confronted me about this via text, I called him right away to apologize, and I have done so again and again, and I am very accommodating in helping him contacting people to take down the adoption post because he is worried it will hurt him / his business – even though as I said, the post never mentioned or alluded to him or his shop.
I should’ve just explained that I am willing to pay for someone else and he could help me find the suitable home. I don’t know why I didn’t just do this, I guess I thought it was so unusual that he would just turn me down. It was so stupid of me.May 8, 2022 at 7:53 pm #399713
You mean if i feel guilty about learning lessons? Yes, I do feel guilty for failing to know any better. I am not young and felt I should know what to do. Also, I am quite a recluse (hence I am not on social media) and really hate dealing with people because interactions are rife with misunderstandings like this. I am still reeling from everything, I wish I never entered into this misguided good deed and just let things be.May 8, 2022 at 6:50 pm #399711
Hi Anita, yes that is right. As I said, I have apologized profusely to him. I must correct one thing though: I did not believe that he would put the dog down but since I came across this dog at his shop who is already 1 y o, I thought I was doing him a favor (that he never asked) by taking the dog off of him. I realize that was a mistake. I should’ve just stayed in my lane and walked away. I was trying to ‘fix’ things that may not have been broken in the first place. All I was thinking about was, older dogs (means those who have reached 1 yr mark) are less desirable and I wanted them to have a good home. What I should have done was approach the pet shop and tell them my intention, and they could find a potential owner and I would pay for them. Lesson learned the hard way.May 8, 2022 at 5:28 pm #399709
Thank you Helcat and Anita!
I take full responsibility for everything as I should not have given the impression that I was going to keep the dog. I am not angry at him. I understand where he is coming from. I just regret how things turned out. If he had never come across the adoption post, everything would have been just fine. I am sure he would not lose customers as there is no way the dog could be traced back to him (unless someone is really really out to get him and hellbent on ‘exposing’ him).
My conscience is also clear because I truly never divulged his info to anyone. I even have the text message to back it up where Tina mistakenly thought the shop was going to put the dog down and I corrected her, even went so far as to say the shop owner was actually nice. I showed this to him but he still said he felt very hurt.
I do not blame him for getting angry. In fact I do think he cares about his dogs so much that to see the dog getting passed around like this upsets him. I just hope he could see that this was an honest mistake and that all I was trying to do was to ‘lighten his load’ as I see he keeps bringing new dogs in even though he still has some unsold dogs that are aging out.
Anita, regarding the defamation suit, I am also not worried as I never identified him, even Tina did not know who he was. In a fit of rage, he called Tina (her number was in the adoption post) and actually exposed himself to her.
Tina is someone I just got to know and she might have an agenda herself (I also don’t blame her for this mess, she is passionate about animals and was just trying to help. In fact, her post helped connecting the dog to the family who just lost the husband/father so suddenly a few months ago due to heart attack.
My experience with Tina has always been nice so far but the shop owner told me she was very unfriendly when he called her, and that she told him I was the one who told her that the dog was about to be put down. I don’t know who to believe and perhaps it was just another misunderstanding where everyone is so emotional and gets caught up in the situation and missed out on details. All I know is I have the text to show that I actually corrected her about this prior to her putting up the adoption post.
I just want to put this all behind me. I keep wishing I never decided to take the matter into my own hand (aka buying the dog with the intention of giving it away for free) and just walked away from the shop. I still have knots in my stomach and I haven’t been able to sleep well. This sucks.May 8, 2022 at 3:32 pm #399705
Thank you, Anita. You are right, in fact I never said anything bad about the pet shop owner. It was a big miscommunication and he thought i was spreading lies about him. In fact I never disclosed the pet shop’s name or the owner’s name.