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LiamJames

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Viewing 12 posts - 16 through 27 (of 27 total)
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  • September 24, 2019 at 1:53 pm in reply to: A poem #314087
    LiamJames
    Participant

    Just read the full poem Anita. Thank you for sharing. I’ll be reading it daily.

    September 24, 2019 at 1:23 pm in reply to: A poem #314067
    LiamJames
    Participant

    It’s not as deep as that. I simply used the word suffering in place of the word pain

    September 24, 2019 at 1:04 pm in reply to: A poem #314057
    LiamJames
    Participant

    I have been relentlessly trying to ease my suffering from my recent breakup, but I have discovered that I hurt more when i compulsively try to hurt less. This poem for me is about allowing myself to feel what needs to be felt, and settling into it, as opposed to trying to “fix” it. This is not to say I’m not still remaining proactive, but I’m giving myself permission to feel the loss fully instead of running from it.

    September 16, 2019 at 2:01 pm in reply to: Lavendar essential oil to help sleep post breakup #312641
    LiamJames
    Participant

    If you mean there is no stopping me from making positive suggestions to my fellow humans who may need help in difficult times then no…there is no stopping me.

    September 16, 2019 at 12:05 pm in reply to: Lavendar essential oil to help sleep post breakup #312599
    LiamJames
    Participant

    Lavendar scented candles are great too…just picked one up

    September 15, 2019 at 10:20 am in reply to: I can only remember the good times… #312409
    LiamJames
    Participant

    Thank you so much Anita for the solid and meaningful advice. I stumbled upon this site by accident (or was it?) and I’m really thankful that I did.

    Many thanks and blessings to all who chimed in. It means a lot to me.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by LiamJames.
    September 15, 2019 at 9:50 am in reply to: I can only remember the good times… #312399
    LiamJames
    Participant

    The relationship was doomed, and marriage/children/mortgage was a horrible idea. She wasnt the right person for me and there is someone better for me out there…this is my new mantra.

    September 15, 2019 at 9:21 am in reply to: I can only remember the good times… #312393
    LiamJames
    Participant

    I will make an earnest attempt at this Anita, although right now it is difficult to even look at or think about ever being with another woman. Doesnt even feel possible at this point. We have only been apart for 4 months. But I dont know, should that be enough time for me to be over a 4 year serious relationship that had marriage on the horizon?

    September 15, 2019 at 8:48 am in reply to: I can only remember the good times… #312383
    LiamJames
    Participant

    What I have done since shes gone is return all of my Buddha decor back to where it was before she moved it to the spare bedroom out of sight…she didnt like my statues and prayer flags….my space is MINE once more!

    September 15, 2019 at 8:40 am in reply to: I can only remember the good times… #312379
    LiamJames
    Participant

    Hey Anita! I think I like this idea.

    September 15, 2019 at 8:16 am in reply to: I can only remember the good times… #312373
    LiamJames
    Participant

    Thank you all for the feedback. What I have been doing lately is vocalizing some of the issues we had in our relationship to my few close friends, and my dad. Talking about the bad stuff so it stays in my conscious mind. To my friends we seemed perfect…pictures on Instagram and Facebook can be a bit misleading, but my dad saw us (in real life) often. He could tell I was miserable and he could sense some red flags that were going on with her and our relationship. Hes been a great source for reminding me that her absence is definitely for the best.

    I’m still fighting urges to call or text her…I actually blocked her number and social media accounts. Shes reached out to me lately wanting to drop something off she has of mine. She wants to come over…Its not really something I care about so I told her to toss it. Then her parents dog became lost in my neighborhood and she asked that I help try to find it…I ignored the call and voicemail. I did drive around and look for the poor animal though. Her contacting me really triggered some emotions within me…made it even more difficult not to reach out.

    One more thing as this is getting quite long…sorry. We have broken up and reconciled before. When we got back together it was so wonderful. We were really going to work on things and I’m sure at the time we meant it, but one year later with ring on finger, everything went back to “normal” which means ignoring the 10 elephants in the livingroom… I’m assuming it would be the same if we reconciled yet again. I know it’s time to let go and move on, but oh man what a laborious task it can feel like at times…

    September 14, 2019 at 6:26 pm in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #312307
    LiamJames
    Participant

    You are not alone Shelbville. I too am struggling daily, hourly even, with my recent split with my fiancee. She was my world for four years. Someone told me something recently that helped me -a little-

    “Good relationships dont end”

    This made a lot of sense to me. The relationship wasnt particularly good  for quite sometime. My attachment to her and my fear of being alone kept me tethered to her and the toxic relationship we were sharing.

    At this point I have chosen to completely let go. I blocked her number so I won’t be tempered to contact her in moments of overwhelming lonliness… nor can she contact me and trigger any feelings within me.

    You will be okay…but you MUST let go. Remember the wisdom of impermanence. Things will change, and you will heal.

    As you slide down the rope the only time it will stop burning you is when you LET IT GO!

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Viewing 12 posts - 16 through 27 (of 27 total)
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