Hello there,

I dont have much to add to this discussion because I too am someone who falls for guys quickly – not often, never based on physical characteristics – but when I do, maaaan, does it drive me crazy. I tend to put them on a pedestal without knowing them too well and this makes everything very complicated. I didnt get a great deal of love growing up and I think I tend to seek it from just about anyone.

I have learnt over the past year that I need to wait to see if they are worthy of everything I have to offer. In other words, like it was suggested – Take a breath. Slow down.

And I truly loved what Omar had to say, there is the whole truth there and something I should have tattooed on my forehead – “When I step back, and recover from crying, anger, shame, and vowing to never do that again, is when I realized I rush everything and did not let time and patience, and trust that someone who does like me, will get to even love me and say it, express it, and be it with me.”

THAT there is what it all comes down to – dont rush, let time and patience reveal what it is meant to be and trust that everything we are is worthy of healthy, strong, deep love.

A lesson I am trying to learn everyday 🙂

Hi there,

I am sorry you are feeling so low and no doubt it is a very, very difficult and confusing situation. I dont know your boyfriend or you or your situation but Im Indian and know a great deal about how traditions work in this culture. So I will tell you what I have seen of situations but of course, none of us can really predict or know what the truth is.

Its is very common for Indian parents to not want their kids to marry outside the culture – infact most insist that they marry within the religion or their community. I am not sure if you were aware of this while you were in the initial stages of the relationship and if you had discussed this with your boyfriend. It is also true that most Indian children do not want to cause their parents sadness or family the loss of face by marrying someone outside — I am sure your boyfriend is facing a GREAT deal of pressure in trying to keep you and his family calm through this process. I dont envy him, it must be driving him crazy. What his mother and family did, as ridiculous as it is, is emotional blackmail, that is used frequently to get parents to get their kids to do what they wish. It doesnt make it right but that is his reality at the moment.

Im not sure if he bluffed you into marriage, I cannot say because I do not know him. There is a great possibility that he was being honest but did not foresee that his parents would react this way. At this point in time, he will either pick to make his family happy and forget you OR marry you and abandon his family – I have seen both happen and it really depends on what kind of personality your boyfriend has and how much influence you and his family have on him.

If he decides to cancel the engagement, there is meant to be a LOT of issues and lot of drama – not sure how strong he is to work thru it and convince them that you are the love of his life. Right now, please take care of yourself, whether this man or not, all you have is you. I hope this works out for you but know that if it doesnt, you WILL be ok. Choose to love yourself at this moment and try to be patient with him as he sorts it out – he has all the power in the situation and I hope he does the right thing by you.

Good luck. Take care.