Dear Anita,

I hope you had a great New Year!!  Hopefully Kooper has made a recent appearance LOL.

Lindsey

Dear Anita,

Thank you!  Hope you enjoyed Thanksgiving and had a relaxing holiday weekend.

Lindsey

Dear Anita,

I’m not sure how friendly you are with your neighbors but maybe ask if you could dog sit Kooper if they leave on occasion?

Things are going well.  Jason and I went to Chicago last weekend- lots of good food!

I am taking on more responsibilities with the kids- Amy has forgotten jackets and water bottles- the jackets were important last week- it was 45 degrees out and they were outside playing until pick up at 4. Aiden said he was freezing.  I think she is being passive aggressive with me- she takes it out on my ex and he takes it out on me- Using the Family Wizard app after the letter from his attorney have improved things for me- I document for the future.

Lindsey

Dear Anita,

How is the Cooper status?

The interviewer never came onto the line for the interview- I waited on hold for 20 minutes. I have not heard back. Maybe that is a sign the company is not all that great- I’ve never had a company do that.

Things have been a little difficult this past week.  I received a certified letter from Jon’s attorney stating that I was harassing his fiance Amy and that my “paranoia” she was pretending to be Jon and write texts & emails was not true. I was really upset when I opened it that evening- this was Wednesday. I called my attorney the next morning and she wrote the attorney an email requesting him to not send me any letters directly as she was still representing me in the matter.  She also brought up the fact that he went up to me intoxicated at a college baseball game around March of this year attempting to discuss the case- she requested for him not approach or harass me again as I was very uncomfortable.

I had to start using the Family Wizard App again because it is court ordered and requested in the attorney’s letter. I stopped using it in an attempt to stop Amy from communicating but it didn’t work- I was grasping at straws.  Per my attorney I wrote in the wizard 2 things in the last month he did that was not following the parenting agreement.  I could send a complaint email to the attorney board (I can’t remember their exact name) regarding the attorney’s behavior approaching me but I do not want to add fuel to the fire.

Things continue to be steady and positive with Jason.

Lindsey

Dear Anita,

work wise we are just understaffed and over worked. I’m looking on the internet for a new job. Big step not sure what I will do.

Currently dealing with a serious issue. Monday night Jason took a very personal photo of me while my head was turned and I could not see what he was doing. He’s asked to take personal ohotos of me before and I’ve always said no.

It didn’t really register with me about him having his cell phone and taking a picture until the next morning. I sent a text asking him if he took a picture and he said yes but deleted it. We had a phone conversation and he apologized. I keep going back and forth from being upset and then when he says something nice temporarily being ok.

I am thinking about ending the relationship. The photo was as personal as you can get. I feel humiliated. I am very sensitive about my body and I do not like taking pictures in general.

I feel drained about even having a conversation because I’m also angry. He knew I would say no about a picture.

I’ve spoken with 1 or 2 close friends about what happened. They think I need to talk with him but the situation may not call for a breakup.

I feel this will linger especially in the bedroom. I think about just not wanting to deal with him and start house back riding. I don’t know if the relationship will be healthy for me. It affects me more due to coercion with sex during my marriage. Help.

lindsey

Dear Anita,

Last night I told him I get nervous about putting myself out there because I do not like to feel vulnerable.  Because we both had difficult marriages – trauma involved- things are difficult in new relationships- which he agreed. I also spoke about how I like to take things slow- used your example of dipping toes in the water. He agreed about prior trauma in his marriage and that was it.  I said I didn’t think the sending the song was a good idea.  He was quiet and did not add much while I was talking.

I woke up this morning with the thought I never cleared up the meaning of the song- I sent a message this morning saying  I wanted to make sure it was clear that the song was in reference to liking him- not more- when we spoke last night.   He responded with “I do.” and sent a joking emoji.  I didn’t say anything else beside have a good Monday. I do not want to keep bringing up the subject however I want him to be clear about the meaning of sending the song.

Dear Anita,

I think Kooper will come running into your house soon enough wagging his tail. I still think maybe you need to get a beagle puppy possibly when they are available for adoption? (you mentioned beagles that had previously been at a lab).

Your answer about Jason is insightful.  I did not think about it from that point of view.  I am frustrated because I feel he is giving mixed signals and not clear.  I felt rejection when he responded with “not really, just telling you about a free movie” when I think is was very clear there was a possible chance we would run into each other. I said that directly to him and he just shrugged his shoulders saying “I don’t know.”

We will see each other tomorrow and I’m thinking maybe I should just let it go. Not beat a dead horse so to speak. I’m confused about all of it- I don’t understand how to move forward with people saying things about us being together for awhile and not knowing how to talk about it with him because he seems to freeze up.

Lindsey