Forum Replies Created
-
The man who doesn’t talk to me….I have tried numerous times to engage in friendky conversation with him and I get plain answers or answering ss he is walking away. I am suppose to feel this is my fault??? His complete dismissal of me like all men do to certain women is all my fault?????
I could have bet money that men wouldn’t post on my thread. I know a man that I have to interact with everyday who never initiates a conversation with me because of a bit of truth I gave him in October. October. I have had people say awful things to me and the next day I would talk to them. I say something and I am dismissed eternally. A woman who we have to interact everyday has slowly made friends with the men while quite often being edgy with me that I felt she was trying to unerve me. It came to the point where I felt like I was made out to be the villian and I just shut down and avoided everyone. Well she is having a crisis right now and I am very concerned about her and we have been getting along because I have been trying to help her. I truly am concerned for her and I dont want to be selfish but no one gave me the freedom to be in a crisis by showing so much concern for me. Especially the men who seem to want to help her and I am nothing. I wouldn’t be surprised if one man blamed me for her being upset. I am the horrible horrible woman but she is cared for. It’s not about not wanting someone else to be cared for but what about me? One man who is also going through a family crisis did speak pleasant to me but I think it’s because we have to get along. The other man will answer me plainly like I am a voice from the air but thats it. Nothing more. He is so concerned about the other woman and again this is not about not wanting him to be concerned…it’s about the complete dismissal of me. I was a pretty, talented, bright girl. All women that speak their mind are dismissed unless if course they make it on their own.
Thank you. If it wasn’t for here I would have no one to turn to. I am in a situation now where someone acted differently when talking to me than she did with others. Why should I even describe this…nothing makes a difference. I don’t know how a woman who never had bad intentions, loved school, wants friendship, romance, works hard can be in a position of not being respected by a boss of a low paying job, not secure in my home, ignored by men and manipulated by selfish women and tolerated being in a family, always thought the worst of, shown publicly that I am not worth what other women are worth and then being made out to be a villian for being upset about it.
I just have to talk. I’m tired of being told in actions that I am a nobody and I can’t be upset about it. I never valued money but I am thinking that maybe that would be the best thing for me. To have enough money to get away from everyone so I don’t have to feel hurt anymore. I wouldn’t have to see or interact with anyone. Unfortunality I have never wanted or valued money so I certainly don’t have it so I am stuck.
Idon’t know what to do.
Thank you Anita. I seem to have lost a couple of people that posted. I didn’t respond quick enough.
I seem to be doomed to take the responsibility for the rejection I have received/ receive. If someone manipulated me, I can not call them out on it, If someone treats me less I am imagining it, if someone bullies me I am misinterpreting their meaning…I am the kind of woman these people feed off of and if a woman like me comes along and defies all their attacks and wins it infuriates them. Sometimes I do win and it infuriates them but I don’t have a real strong defense mechanism.
If I was a man and posted the same story more than a few women would post giving advice.
Even the most strong feminist I believe has it ingrained in them to believe that men are more valuable. I believe masculinity and feminity are of equal value which makes me an alien from another planet. Especially in the United States. I know this because I have seen women who I know to be strong; blinded to their values in order to please a man.
I have seen it even in celebrity women I admire. They fell for the rhetoric and when they woke up it was too late and they lost a little of what lead them to where they are.
I am extremely sad right now and really don’t know what to do.
Thank you to everyone who has tried to help me.
Lisa
Manders I will continue my post but want to start another at the moment. How long can I continue this thread and ask for help? I dream of doing the work to change things but something always comes up. Right now I am dealing with physical pain.
I never learned how to have a life. I thought if I worked hard and behaived myself that good things would come to me but they haven’t. I am not on the street but that is always following not too far behind me. I have no security. I am jealous that other women are the subject of men’s concerns. I appreciate everyone who has posted but have you noticed no men have? They just don’t care.
Anita I am sorry that you have to deal with something that is uncomfortable for you but I admire you so much that you can give so much to other people. I want to be able to do that but just feel resentful if I am going to be honest about being alone. I could help people I am sure but I can not get past my sadness over my situation in life. It’s like I need someone next to me telling me what to do all the time. All I know how to do is survive and feeling love, happiness, joy, fun…they are luxuries I am not allowed to have. I don’t know why. I guess I accepted a long time ago after numerous letdowns and disappoinments that I am not allowed to experience those things and I am simply demanding or searching for someone to be able to tell me why?? If I have to live like this than why do I have to. I believe men think nothing of me and I don’t want to hear about what I am doing wrong. I want to know why???? If I am sentenced to this existense than I feel I have the right to know why. Part of my punishment it seems is not having the right to say it’s not my fault. They can think nothing of me, treat me unfairly, or like I am some sort of nuisance and I am to take the blame.
Manders I want to continue on a new post because my last one became too difficult to type in.
Thank you for the advice about listening to tapes and podcasts. Books as well…Therapy is just so expensive. If I was rich I’d see a therapist everyday, hire a life coach, consultants, nutritionist, etc.
edit: just like to let you know that I have a previous post that is waiting moderation. It must be the way it was typing in.
Thank you Anita. I am on my break which is 15 minutes so I will be quick. I want to share something with you and anyone else reading. Also with the person whose post I still need to get to.
I was listening to an interview with a woman who suffered from depression that she learned that happiness is fleeting. The best you can do is feel contentment.
Not sure I am quoting her exactly right but thst is basically what she was trying to get across. I do get it. Happiness is much like sadness. You don’t feel sadness all the time so how can you be happy all the time? It’s actually very zen I think. Anyway I liked that quote from her.
No Anita, I am talking about someone I have to interact with on a daily basis. Someone I thought I could talk to and who understood. Someone else I thought I could trust was involved as well…but the first person was someone I thought actually understood. A man, a helper, and money overpowered any faith in me. I should have known better.
I am venting. I am given no way out so if I have to be imprisoned by men and the women that love them. When they can’t shut me up they silence me. If I was successful they couldn’t silence me.
They would certainly try though through ageism, pitting other women against me, insults, ignoring me, recycle me for someone younger, try to undermine my achievements.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 