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I would like to thank you Anita and the few kind hearted people who tried to help me. Most people knew I was nothing and stood by that. Anita you and others are very exceptional. Just know that. Unfortunality you and they are very much outnumbered. It’s like trying to hold up very heavy boxes. You can only hold them so long before you collapse. I know you are genuine Anita as well as a few others…to all of you I say thank you for caring.
To all the ones out there who people think are kind hearted but are silent when another is attacked. Congratulations on your strategy. It has worked for you. You attached yourself to unfeeling people because they provided for you in some way and looked the other way while they attacked a nothing like me. Not only are you secure but you also have the privilege of being known as a nice person. Thank you for nothing.
To all the people who prop themselves up above others and know when and who to pretend to be kind to and who to attack, you will not have that ability forever so enjoy yourselves. It’s the last thing I have to cling to knowing you will not be able to harm forever. You will not be able to harm forever.
My only chance of survival now is to except my nothingness and be quiet among people. Writing is different because it can be a one way street and I can say what I think.
I am very sorry it has to be this way but people who care about everyone are outnumbered.
I am sorry Anita.
I am not equal. There is a conservative habit of dismissing the difficulties of a group or person as to blame them completely for their what holds them back. No matter how much we do to you it is your responsibility to be successful. “Look at ____ .” They were able to do this or that.”
Progressive minded people do the same thing when it comes to small scale communities. They value one person over another but they walk around as if they do not so you can not call them out on it.
My roommate’s dog died this afternoon. He was my friend. I would take him out and play ball with him and it was the one bright spot of my time right now. He died this afternoon after lying down. He looked like he was sleeping but no. He was just lying down and we didn’t know until we realized he had been lying there longer than usual. I am so sad right now. I just played with him this moring. He acted completely normal. Did everything he usually did. I cried when I realized he was gone but now I am just sad and lying here and feel so sad for my roommate. I immediately need to know why? He was an older dog but he could have surely lived a couple years longer. I will miss him so much.
My politeness keeps attacks at bay and complete separation from any relationship that has to be according to unthinking people. So even though I remain alone I do not have to the full scale of attacks from bullies.
Saying what I think warrants an attack.
No Anita, I am saying that I am being selfish and need information. I do not see the sharing of information as engaging. If someone needed my help I would properly inform them even though I am trying to avoid interacting with people. I do not have a problem with valuable information being exchanged. If I could avoid being a human being I would. I have no other choice but to interact. Despite my not wanting to connect I say I appreciate your input because it is the polite thing to do.
I have never completely understood the rich person who stays alone until now. Should this person go out and demonstrate and protest those who take up all the friendships and admirers that can accumulate? Should they protest their greed and their opression of others receiving admiration or friendships?
I never cared about money but I wish I had a lot of it right now because at least it would protect me from people. I could live somewhere where I wouldn’t have to see anyone and spend time with nature.
I don’t have money so I am trying to think of a way to be cordial but not engaged. That is even difficult because they always find a way to insult me and engage me. I want to think of people like I think of the rain. It’s just there but not engage with it. I am trying to avoid them in the rooms and be indifferent. I feel like they feel cheated if they can not hurt my feelings and if I do not want to engage with them they will engage with me and when I did want to engage with them they ignored me.
As a poor person how do I can I pretend I am alone? I have to pretend because I do not want to engage with people anymore.
This forum is not engaging. It is a source of information for me and for your sake I will say I appreciate it.
Thank you
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 